Page One

Allyssa, an elf, was the first customer to enter the Inn. She sung the first two lines of The Fall of Gil-Galad (J.R.R Tolkien) and Gimli congratulated her, and gave her a mug of ale on the house. Grondmaster, a hobbit, then walked in wearing full Elvis costume. He sung a song from ROTK on the stage, sung by Sam in Cirith Ungol (J.R.R Tolkien).
Tom Bombadil came in immediately afterward, and sung his song, beginning with ’Hey dol! Merry dol! Ring a dong dillo!’ (J.R.R Tolkien). He got a cold mug of ale from Gimli, then left to free the hobbits from the willow-man. Gimli watched him leave, then went up to sing Behind Blue Eyes (The Who). Allyssa grinned, Tom came back in, and sung the first verse of his song again. He gave a round of beer to all.
PlasticSquirrel entered with an electric guitar, and played Eruption (Van Halen). He then ordered a Guiness, which Gimli provided. Grondy asked where the electricity came from, and Gimli replied that the Inn was hamster-powered and that the hamsters liked it because it was orc toe with ranch dipping sauce day on Fridays. PlasticSquirrel ordered a bowl of jellied eels, which Gimli served up. Grondy went to the mike and sung Lies (Stan Rogers). Gimli then nailed a wanted sign to the door about thieves (not sure why...).
Halo_Black appeared, and demanded a rendition of Knees Up Mother Brown (Irving Taylor). PlasticSquirrel sat down at the piano and started to play the tune. Gollum entered, and sung the aforementioned song, then leaped into Halo_Black’s arms. Grondy applauded from his plate of jellied eels, then Halo_Black dropped Gollum, went over to Grondy and finished his beer for him, then realised that one of the eels was still alive. She ran into the toilets, flushed the eel down one, then came back into the pub.
Gollum picked himself up, muttering, then jumped on top of the piano and sung Time (Pink Floyd). Halo_Black apologised to Gollum for dropping him, then suddenly seemed to suffer from temporary memoy loss, and couldn’t remember dropping him at all. Goes into hysterics. Grondy them pointed out that she hadn’t sung yet, and Halo_Black sticks her tongue out at him and shows him the bottom of her glass, which came from the Prancing Pony. Gollum then reminds her that he jumped into her arms, and she remembers. She then wonders what to sing, and threatens to sing the Scooby-Doo theme tune (Ben Raleigh) if nothing else. Grondy protested forcefully to this, but PlasticSquirrel and Gollum thought it was a great idea and begin to sing it.
Meanwhile, Keeper*of*the*stars, a half-elf, (who I shall call K from now on), came in, wrapped in shadows, and sat down. Tom Bombadil told her that she would have to sing, but K replied that she didn’t sing, and went over to the bar and ordered a mai tale. Gimli told her she would have to sing, but she refused coldly, and a startled dwarf gave it over.
Halo_Black then began to sing in Scooby-Doo in the most excruciatingly painful voice known to man, elf, hobbit, or dwarfkind. Horse alarms go off outside, glass breaks, dogs and cats start to howl, until she is finally knocked over by a boot thrown by one of the guests. She continued to sing weakly, but another boot knocked her out.
PlasticSquirrel (who is half-deaf) applauds her. Grondy takes out an avil from his Marvellous Bag of Holding and prepares to drop it on the Squirrel if he should request an encore. At the other side of the room, Tom leans over to K at his table to serenade her. However, Goldberry comes in, whacks him on the head with a handbag, and drags him out. Gimli sniggers from behind the bar, then walks up onto the stage and shines a light on K, demanding a song.
She walked over to the piano and sung May it be an Evening Star (Enya). Gollum, who was still on the piano, congratulated her, and Grondy bowed, though PlasticSquirrel clapped his hands over his ears, since he hates Enya. K thanked Grondy and Gollum, and went back to sit down. Halo_Black also clapped for K, then suddenly her mother, an Uruk-hai, walked in, and said that they were going on their holidays to Cornwall. Halo_Black left with her family, and Gimli waved goodbye. PlasticSquirrel began to sing the Spiderman theme tune (Paul Webster). Gimli commented on what an odd crowd he had that night.

Wow, that took a long time. All that in one page... oh well, one down, sixty-seven to go!

Page Three


Sil realised that everyone was buying drinks on his account, and had no money. He offered to do the washing instead. A man named Orimono entered, sat down, and lit his pipe in a corner. Meanwhile, Mellie was feeling guilty about not singing, so she stood up and sung a song from The Hobbit (J.R.R Tolkien, the one the dwarves sung about breaking things in Bag-End).
Gimli clapped for Mellie, and welcomed Orimono, telling him about the song rule. He also offered Mellie a room for the night, though she declined. Gimli then told her that customers too drunk to get home safely got rooms free of charge. Mellie ordered a China White, as Tom stood up and sung All For Me Grog (The Dubliners). Orimono fell asleep, but Tom shouted at him to wake up and sing. Orimono woke up, stood up and sung The Life of a Travler (Orimono_Shujin). He then went over to the bar and mixed vodka and OJ to make a Screwdriver, then lit a cigarette.
Grondy finally came back inside, and told Gimli to pour Orimono one of his finest. Sil reckoned that his turn had come, and he stood up and sung African Sky Blue (Johnny Clegg). Mellie poured herself a few tequilas, and gave one to Grondy. PlasticSquirrel hummed some mindless tune as he lined up a row of tequila shots. Orimono called out his pet talking mouse, Treize, who popped its head out of his coat pocket and said hello to the whole room, before going back inside. Orimono fell asleep and fell onto the floor with a thump.
Star was crying about a message she had got from home (burglars), and asked Gimli to give them to her strong, and keep them coming. Sil comforted her. An elf, Alassiel, walked in, and asked if anyone spoke Quenya. Grondy greeted her, then turned to look at Orimono’s coat pocket and asked Treize if had ever run into a miniaturised giant space hamster called Boo. Treize crawled out, and said that he had. He also turned to Alassiel and welcomed her. Alassiel returned the greeting, and sung a verse from the Lay of Tinuviel (J.R.R Tolkien). She then got a strawberry juice from Gimli, and walked out again. As she left, a tall lady hobbit, Rednell, came in, jumped up onto a table and sung Rant and Roar (Great Big Sea).
Grondy asked Gimli to bring Rednell two tankards of ale, as he wanted her to sing Barrett’s Privateers. Orimono woke up, said that he’d never thought that he would hear that song again, and fell back asleep. Treize asked if his master could have a room, since he was very tired.
Rednell jumped down from the table and declined singing something as long as Barrett’s Privateers, but she did prod Orimono with her foot and asked Gimli to remove him. Tom dropped his pint all over Ori, ’apologised’, then asked if anyone knew the rest of the words to ’Starry starry night’.
Star stood up and sung Starry, Starry Night (Don McLean). Tom thanked her for the lyrics, but unfortunately PlasticSquirrel hated the song so much he screamed in terror, and ran to the far side of the room, which woke Halo_Black up. She went to the stage and sung Harvest Home (Maddy Prior), in a much nicer voice from when she had last performed. Grondy congratulated her, and Mellie smiled and said goodnight to all, going up the stairs to the right of the bar. K, after a long time outside, finally came back in and apologised about her sulk, sitting down in a chair. Grondy realised that his Elvis jumpsuit was looking a little worse for wear, and left the inn to go and change it. K sat back, engrossed in her thoughts, while Halo_Black considered between singing again or leaving to scare some hobbit children.

Well, I'm leaving it open to everyone, so if anyone wants to do page 4 then they are welcome to, if they stick to the rules I made above.

O.K, that's great, Surivan (like that name?). I won't be around until next Tuesday, though. Can you remind Thorin to change his lastest post in ADTFTN to be a speech about his dead dwarves, not Fornad's dead Rangers?
Thanks.