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Thread: "How to" game

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ok, the point of this game to ask a question about how to do something and reply with a similar but incorrect answer ex:How do you make a sandwich?
you get a variety of vegetables and chop them up and then mix them inside a bowl
then, you post a new question
here goes then: how do you eat an apple?
you take the apple and heat in the microwave owen for so long that it becomes black and crispy and then enjoy!
(I hope i understood the rules of your game! Smile Smilie)

How do you bake a pie?
First, you sand down the raw lumber until it is perfectly smooth, using a belt sander. Then, you measure each board with a measuring tape to exactly 16 inches, marking off the measurement with a carpenter's pencil. Cut down each board using a table saw very carefully, then sand down the rough edges of each cut peice. Nail each board to another using standard finishing nails, two on each side, by angling two boards in a ninety-degree angle and hammering the nails into the ends of where one board meets another, careful to center each nail. When this has been done, you will have a square shape and you will need to lay out the remaining 16 inch peices across top of square. Nail each into edges of square on all sides of square, two to each board. This will serve as the bottom of your crate. When complete, sand again and follow up with the stain color of your choice, using 2 inch staining brush and applying evenly. Then follow up with clear lacquer coating, using different 2 inch staining brush. Voila!

How do you prepare for bungee jumping?
You need to get into a B3 jet, then fly to the empire state building, equip yourself with a parachute, bring a sandwich for the flight, jump and on your way down open the parachute

how do you make a snowman?
You go out into your backyard after a fresh snowfall and lay on your back with your arms outstreched to your sides, Then move your arms across the ground sweeping the snow towards your head and towards your legs. Finally stand up and Viola! There you have it and music too, if you remembered to bring your bow. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

How to you make gumbo?
you must take baby octopuses and fry them, then place them in a bowl of boiling soup

how do you go for a walk?
You put on your shoes and work out gear, head out side, jump on your bike and hit the trails.

How do you drive a car?
You get on the saddle and start cycling.

How do you prepare a sandwich
Paste together two peices of cardboad and attach a white peice of construction paper on one side. Next, decorate according and add a photocopy of your report onto white side of board. Make a stand for the back using two small cardboard cutouts, attaching with staples and agled diagonally opposite each other, so that when you stand the board up, it stands like a picture frame. Your diagram report for social studies is done!

How do you set the dinner table for guests?
Well, first, you take a table and tuen it upside down with the legs up towards the ceiling or sky (or wherever you choose to have this dinner) and carefully place the plates on top of the four legs then put the forks and cutlery on the around the legs then place the win glasses upside down on the plates. For the food, you need to put everyones portions in the middle of the upturned table in a big pile and dive in Orc Smiling Smilie

How do you build a house???
Building a house is easy, you must take a pile of sticks and angle them so that they meet in the middle, but form a circle with their bases, make sure to make an opening so that you can get in and out.

how do you drive a car?
You push an automobile to the top of a hill..let go of the brake...sit on top it backwards and play the harmonica.

How do you catch a butterfly?
you build a pit in the ground and cover it with leaves.

How do you hunt a tiger?

oooc: to daeron: when u use bold remeber to close it by addind [ /b ] after your sentence without the brackets. Thanks Elk Grinning Smilie
You stand in the middle of the freeway, wave around a turkey sandwhich around and yell, "Oh oh oh oh!!!! Pick me pick me!!!! "

How do you beat a Crash Bandicoot Gamecube game boss?
first, you must insert a compact disc (which is a symettrical wonder), which is formatted for the gamecube video game system. Next you must press a combination of buttons to do a complex jump, spin, twirl, and attack move. thats how you beat ratchet and clank for playstation

How do you climb a tree?
Well, first you take an axe and chop the beautiful nature down, then lay it down on the floor with the tip of the tree touching your toes, then skip along the top of it with a hanky whirling above your head, then bow to the trunk's base and look for a daisy.........

How do you walk upstairs???

Daramor, please remember to put [ /b ] (without the spaces) to end the tag, as it is annoying to always see bold on every post Orc Smiling Smilie
first, you must place a large stack of dynamite underneath you, light it, and wait a few seconds, and lo and behold you have gone straight through your ceiling and onto the 2cnd floor Jumping Flame Smilie

how do you snowboard?

Am I right with the bold thing?
You somersault down a sand covered mountain.

How do you sing a song?
You go to the cupboard and haul out a large kettle; next go to the drawer and get a wooden spoon; upend the kettle; and pound on it with the spoon in 5/7 time with a tempo of 10800 beats per fortnight.

How do you herd cats?
You plant dandilions in a circle and water them with Pepsi every other day for two years.

How do you teach an old dog new tricks?
Well, maybe he should teach you. I mean, after all, he does have loads more experience. That's it! A school where dogs teach old humans new tricks! Hopefully they won't carry rulers on their persons in the event you mess up...

How do you learn a new language?
You must listen to someone speak the new language and then, just copy what they say over and over again

how do you make a bed?
You go to the fish-mongers and purchase a dozen oysters and eat them, saving the twenty-four half shells. These you take to the beach and plant below the area's lowest low tide mark. Congratulations, you have just made your bed, though you won't be able to sleep in it. If you are lucky, in a couple of years you may be able to gather a few oysters from it.

How do you cook an elephant?
Cooking an elephant is simple, all you must do is get a very powerful crane to lift it into a giant pot, then use an even bigger crane to place it onto a humongous stove. Next you must get ten helicopters to bring huge buckets of water to pour into the pot with the elephant inside and then, you must hire a pack of 20 professional mountain climbers to climb to the top of the stove and when all of them push against the switch that turns on the stove at the same time, the switch will turn, thus turning on the stove.

How do you fly without any flying apparatus (airplane, hang-glider, parachute etc.)?
You get on top of a very tall building, you shout "i'm superman" and you jump.

How do you kill a mockingbird?
With kindness? No, by staying silent. With nothing to mock, the poor bird will die of frustration.

How do you lick a postage stamp?
You take in and rub it on your hair. For those who are bald tou can use your toes though it is not so efficient

How do you hunt a deer?
Silently, you sneak up on it and tack the tail on its backside.

How do you open a can of soda pop?
You take an axe and hew off the top.

How do you switch off a pc?
You take an axe and hew off the bottom.

How can we get back to the Moon?
You take Jules Verne's Train which is scheduled for 12.00 GMt today.

How do you tell someone you're annoyed with him?
You simply purchase a huge can of whipped cream, a frozen bag of blueberries, some French vanilla ice cream and some Grand Marnier and layer ice cream, Grand Marnier, berries and whipped cream over and over until your serving dish is full to the point of overflowing. Enjoy your sinful treat with all of your loved ones at a gathering, but make sure the kiddies don't have more than a very small serving, or by yourself while watching a good movie. Bon apetite!

How do you tell someone that loves you that you don't love them?
You take your girlfriend/boyfriend to her and introduce him/her to the person.

How do you tell someone you love her?
You stand her up and date her best friend.

How do you perform in a play?
You stay at home and read shakespeare.

How do you do a u-turn?
You pedal backwards on your bike in a straight line.

How do you purchase a birthday gift?
You get in a shop, grab the first thing you see and run out as fast as you can.

How do you burn a cd?
Load it, fire it at a suitable target in a safe area, dispose of the empty shells in the proper place.

How do you sculpt a bust of someone?
You cover their head vasoline gell and then apply a coating of silicon rubber (ensuring to make two air holes with straws so they can breath) and when it sets, gently remove this newly made mold so as not to tear it. Clean its interior cavity and fill it with plaster paris. Let it dry for a day and gently remove the silicon mold and let the resulting statue dry for a couple more days, after which time you strongly apply a sledge hammer and bust it.

How do you draw a perfect circle freehand, like with only a pencil and without any other tools?
You hold the paper still and draw the circle with the pencil.

How do you play hockey?
It was quite easy when I was a youngster, WARNING: Kids, don't do this at home; it can be harmful to your education. Teacher Smilie Back then we didn't have a truant officer, so we would just leave home and not show up at school. Elf Sticking Tounge Out Smilie

How do you eat an Oreo?
You remove it from its wrapping, peel of the chocolate biscuit and eat what remains.

How do you connect to the internet?
I open the refrigerator door and take out the gallon jug of milk, remove the blue lid, and pour part of the contents (approximately 8 oz.) into a glass tumbler. Then I take the unused portions of the Oreos of the previous post and dip them into the glass of milk and eat them.

How to you construct a suspension bridge?
By jumping off of your roof wearing purple clothing.

How do you control your spending when shopping on the internet?

After finding what I want on the Web, I get in my private jet and fly to the city where their brick and mortar store is located. I rent an expensive hotel room for the night; and the next morning I visit their store and spend $9.59 to buy on sale, a $10 dollar item and figure I have saved a bundle.

How do you blow a bubble-gum bubble?
Chew it real hard and then blow with your mouth and it gets bigger than your head
How do you wear a hat ?
You cut in it pieces and put it in your pockets.

How do you make a phone call?
Just put a bow on top of your head and give yourself to your mom for Mother's Day.

How do you play backgammon?
You take a deck of ordinary playing cards, and ensuring the two jokers have been removed, you shuffle them together three times and then toss them all into the air and yell "FIFTY-TWO PICKUP!".

How do you make an apple pie?
You go to the supermarket, buy a frozen pizza, get back home, put in in the microwave for 5 mins, remove it, put some oranges on it and u have your apple pie.

How do you write a letter?
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