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Thread: The Talentless Lazybones Guild

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Ok, all this talk of food, is making me really hungry. I really must get something to eat.
I dropped out of uni, got "retrenched" from a factory job and my house is a pigsty because I am too lazy to do housework...can I be an associative member or something? (Is this guild exclusive for other guildmembers? Smile Smilie ) Big Laugh Smilie

You Go Girl!

Big Laugh Smilie
I'm pretty darn Lazy Golly, and I never get anything done, can I join, please?
Hooray, a member! Have a seat & laze about!

Help yourself to some beer/ wine / seedcake / chocolate eclairs / cigar / brandy / pipeweed / whatever. Warm cozy slippers are by the armchair near the fireplace. Newspapers and books on the shelves right next to us, so we don't have to walk too far to get them.

*settles in & stretches lazily*

It's nice to be useless & lazy sometimes. Big Smile Smilie Smoke Smilie

[Edited on 30/8/2002 by Ungoliant]
Sounds perfect, what do you reckon Golly?

*lies back on the Sofa, puts Star Wars on the Video and cracks open a can*
Smoke Smilie Smoke Smilie Smoke Smilie Smoke Smilie Smoke Smilie Smoke Smilie Smoke Smilie Smoke Smilie
Woohoo! Another member! Hooray! Big Smile Smilie

Welcome Ally, and make yourself comfortable. Since I'm too lazy to be Supreme Dictator, I thereby nominate you! So "Hail Lord...uhm...Lady Allyssa, our new Supreme Dictator! " Mwahahaha! *cackles evilly* (I'll just stick to Grand Admiral Ungoliant for the moment, since we have no wars going on right now.)

*sob* See you all next weekend! But in the meantime, enjoy the Star Wars movie, and here's the key to the liquor cabinet. I'll see what I can do about getting a butler in here.

"Couch Potatoes of the World, Unite!"
To Ungoliant, I think it is time for your medication
Hi there Ross. Can see you are going to fit in here just fine!!

*offers Ross a beer*

I think that I will decline on the dictatorship thanks. Waaaaaay too lazy, sorry, and too busy being a dictator elsewhere.
*hic* Can someone go refill the liquor cabinet please? *hic*
Well, Golly
If you can't write novels or music, can't sing or play a musical instrument, can't paint, can't take nice photos, can't do anything artistic, can't cook, can't write reviews, can't tell jokes, can't write poetry, are useless at computers and/or programming, and (rightfully) feel totally inadequate on this multi-talented site , then this guild is for you!

That sounds just like me, can i be a member too please? Mellie brings in bottles of vodka, jack, and tequila and sodas to drink. I also hired a maid to keep the sodas, booze, and food restocked for us. She will also change the movies for us and keep the place somewhat neat.
Mellies smiles and mixes a vanilla vodka and vanilla coke. I love star wars. hehehehe
You've come to the right place then, fancy a Hob-Nob?
I hope that is the name of a drink Plastic! Super Scared Smilie
what's a Hob Nob?
It's a biscuit. Why, what did you all think I meant?
Hooray, some more new members!!!! Welcome, welcome! Big Smile Smilie Big Smile Smilie

Ok, you don't have to have a Supreme Dictator then, since we're too lazy to elect one. I'll try the vanilla concoction then Mellie, change the SW video & refill the liquor cabinet. What movie's next then, Empire?

Now we can all sit around, laze about on our sofas, sip coffee or cocktails, nibble Hob Nobs and talk about things that we're not going to do.

I'm not going to exercise today. Too hot. *yawns*
I really had no idea what a Hob Nob was. That is why I asked. I waa always told that the only dumb question was the one that went unasked. So, I asked. I knew what it meant to hob nob, but I never seen it used as a noun before.

Mellie yells for the maid. Could you change the movie to Empire, and bring me another drink, please. (Might as well be nice to her, she will stick around longer.)
I didn't know what a Hob nob was either, Mel. Not sure if I want one though, even now... Would anyone care for a Tim Tam?

When are we going to start watching FOTR?
ok, what is a Tim Tam? another type of cookie?
I'm lazy... am I in???

huh huh!!!!!! Big Laugh Smilie
I won't even ask if I can join, I think everyone reckons I should have been in ages ago. I'm in now anyways and I won't get out again cos I'm too bl**dy lazy. Smoke Smilie

*reaches for a beer and plunges down in the sofa*
A Tim Tam is two oblong choc. biscuits with chocolate filling in between, with a chocolate coating on the outside. Seriously chocolatey.
mmmmmmmm, sounds wonderful. Mellie orders a box. lol
Me wants a box too! Can we order one? MAID! Bring us a box of tim tams. Wait, make that two! Big Laugh Smilie

Aaaah! Home at last! Very Big Grin Smilie
What a tiring week. Do you mind if I just pop into your club-room, find a nice comfy chair, put my feet up on a stool and just chill out for an hour or so. Those Tim Tams sound nice, and if someone could lob a stubby in my direction it'd be appreciated.

Ahh... Peace at last Smile Smilie
... and if someone could lob a stubby in my direction it'd be appreciated. ...
Way back in the good old days (or were those the dark ages) a stubby was what a short necked beer bottle was called; are you referring to the same thing Val?

Oh, and my second worst case of dry heaves was caused by eating chocolate chip cookies (biscuits) while getting drunk on a few stubbies of beer. Exploding Head Smilie
Way back in the good old days (or were those the dark ages) a stubby was what a short necked beer bottle was called; are you referring to the same thing Val?
They're the ones, Grondy. And don't they go down well?
*lobs a stubby to Val.*
*ponders for a mo.*

Here, have some more. Wouldn't want to get up again later now would we?

*grabs several jam doughtnuts, some chocolate eclairs and a pot of coffee, and settles in a cozy armchair by the window*

*flicks on the tv & sees ManYoo playing Leeds*

Sleeping Smilie Sleeping Smilie Sleeping Smilie
WooHoo! *overly energetic as ManYoo get thrashed 1-0 by Leeds, and the mighty blues do a 3-0 killing over Newcastle.*
*burps* Very Big Grin Smilie
I saw the title of this thread and knew straight away that this was the place for me!! Big Smile Smilie there an initiation process I have to go through or what???

Big Laugh Smilie

Ah, I see you've found your way around already! Big Smile Smilie

Grab a chair, a drink & some buttered scones. Don't worry, there's no hazing or anything as strenuous as that...

We haven't gotten around to making the rules for this place yet since that sounds like a lot of hard work, and we're...just.....too d*mn...........pass me a cushion, there's a nice jewel....mmm... Sleeping Smilie Sleeping Smilie Sleeping Smilie

[Edited on 19/9/2002 by Ungoliant]
This thread is just so relaxing, I'm tempted to use it as my screen saver... It's just... I can't be bothered...
Oh yeah! I soooooo need this.

Now I just need a massage from favourite LOTR character: Aragorn/Viggo. But if he isn't available, Elladan and/or Elrohir will do. Put some athelas in the oil burner will you? There's a good hunk.

Oh, and HI Silmarill. *hands Silmarill a tim tam.
Well, I guess since Golly tried one of my concoctions, I will try one of Val's Stubbies.

Welcome to the club, everyone. The more the merrier. Mellie yells for Jen (the maid) we have more members, hire someone else to help you please. So What are we going to watch now? Hmmmm I am hungry. Let's call out for chinese food.
Let's call out for chinese food.
No way, those little paper boxes are too hard to open; and it takes way too much effort to pick up to the food that keeps slipping off those silly sticks. I expend more energy trying to get the food in my mouth than I get from eating it. I wouldn't turn down a plate of pork and seeds though; my sinuses could use a good workout. Big Smile Smilie

[Edited on 23/9/2002 by Grondmaster]
Imagine I sound just like Alec Guinness here...
Use the Fork Grondy...

It's really much easier that way, and we'll order English Chinese, as it comes in nice foil containers that double as plates, so no washing up. Or that nice place about a mile away from here that uses nice plastic boxes, like tupperware, you can reuse tham and everything...
They've got to deliver though.... Unless someone else is willing to go out and fetch mine. And another stubby from the back of the frige would go down nice too.
But Plastic won, I'd have to do the dishes in order to find a clean one, and that would take way too much effort. Or do you get plastic forks along with your 21st century containers? Big Laugh Smilie
I have a bag of plastic sporks just here for that exact use. Now who's going to go and phone?
Did you guys forget? I hired a MAID. She can order and clean up. We could be eating off of China and it would not matter. She will clean it up. But I love those little plastic sporks. We have a drawer full of them too. lol I do pretty well with the chop sticks though. I used to live in Korea when I was younger and did not know forks existed, until I was 7 years old. Ok, we have figured out who is going to order and clean up. I think I want a nap after we eat. that was soo much work. I need a strong drink, and then off to the land of nod.
OOH! Can i join! This Is Definatly My Type Of Guild!!!!! Cool Smilie

[Edited on 28/9/2002 by Grondmaster]
Welcome Orimono_Shujin

It's really much easier that way, and we'll order English Chinese, as it comes in nice foil containers that double as plates, so no washing up.
So true... Wink Smilie
And while you go out and order that chinese thingie, take me a pizza along as well.

I'm really getting lazy. Can't be bothered to get up from behind this screen to fetch me a glass of water. Must get me a maid! Big Laugh Smilie
Mellie said she hired us a maid; however, as she forgot to tell us the maid's name, we are hard pressed to get her attention. Anything more than a "Hey you" to do this would require too much effort, and around here a "Hey you" would only get you a few "Whats?" in return. Then you would have to turn your head to see if one of them was the maid and say, "No, not you, her." With further effort being required to raise your arm and point to the maid: which only works if the labor laws still allow maids to wear those scanty black and white short skirted decotage showing outfits that easily lets us know where to point. Big Smile Smilie
Her name is Jennie. ok
Don't stress over the name, ok?
Is Jennie wearing PVC? Please?
Only in our dreams Oh Great Plastic One: She probably has a face like a horse, and her body ... well you might say 'She has a wonderful personality.' Sad Smilie

And then again, I'm probably mistaken about the whole thing, I hope, I hope. Big Smile Smilie
So why does the maid have to be a she? I like eye candy too and a she just wouldn't do it for me. How about a butler, Mel? One that is not lazy and works out. Super Wow Smilie
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