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The ructions are over (at least I believe they are????) Everyone rejoice, each and every one!

The best news is that Mr Tyrant has found out that the Valar themselves are blocking PJ's evil plans for The Hobbit. Apparently, the Valar themselves are going to ensure we get a True adaptation of The Hobbit - and in just ONE movie. Brilliant, what!

[i:3l3eptx7]Everyone is singing (the noise is substantial),
The Good News being, there'll now be [b:3l3eptx7]no[/b:3l3eptx7] Council,
Bilbo's adventures will be true to the text,
All Liberal Plans have by the Valar been hexed!

Sing ye all faithful! Sing ye all heartful!
Sing ye the feckless! Sing ye the artless!
All shall be joined in a joyous experience,
Oh forget your chagrin. Forget all your fearance!

All songs will be sung! Elves will be all Happy,
The Dwarves will all be crabbity chappies,
Stone Giants and Eagles, Animals serving honey,
(Some of the movie will actually be quite funny!)

Bilbo will be fifty, and Gandalf quite cross,
And Thorin won't be a Trade Union Boss,
Saruman won't be in it (that fascist old Bird),
Nor Galadriel neither - or that's what I heard.

Legolas may have a cameo (Mr Tyrant didn't say),
But I assume it's still possible (and might be okay),
But the best thing to know, and this I applaud,
It'll be a True Movie, and no one will be bored![/i:3l3eptx7]

I channelled that fom some nether place - Eru Himself? Probably.

Ahhhhh! It's good to be back to normality!!

Wise Odo
Indeed the news from across the Sundering Seas is good news Wise Odo. But sadly there are those who doubt, and even some whom I suspect want PJ and the Coven to add in all sorts of non-Th related stuff. Disgraceful and not respectable behaviour in my view. Still we fight the good fight, those who care.
The day will come and the liberals will get their comeuppance. After all the Valar have spoken (and it wasn't just some half baked crazed experience either, nope, saw the whole thing, a grey rain-curtain -well I was in Scotsdale- turning to silver glass and rolling back, then a white shore and a far green country beneath a swift sunrise- and they ain't talking metaphors here its like someone kicks the damn sun over the horizon the speed it comes up at!). So I will have no truck with doubters.
Oh I believe everything you say! You're not [i:25tkjhzs]The [/i:25tkjhzs]Tyrant for nothing. It's all part of Eru's Great purpose, I can tell (channelled it, actually).

Aaah! I'm so looking forward to two happy events: (1) A Great Adaptation true to Text, and: (2) Liberals, Puerilists and (weak kneed) Purists burning in the Middle-earth version of HELL! :twisted:

[i:25tkjhzs]Oh how they will wail, when burnt top to tail!
Wail all ye backsliders, as the fiery crack grows wider!
The Great Middle-earth Satan, will give you some hatin',
As I, Great Tolkien, look down, from Heaven a'frown,
Crying: why did you forsake me? Why did you make me,
Send Powers to burn you, when The Wise could not turn you?[/i:25tkjhzs]

From "Tolkien: Songs about the Pesudo Fans." (History of Middle-earth Volume Twenty Seven).

Wise Odo

Btw Mr Tyrant: I suspect [b:25tkjhzs]YOU[/b:25tkjhzs] and [b:25tkjhzs]I[/b:25tkjhzs], yes, [b:25tkjhzs]WE[/b:25tkjhzs], know who T was prophesizing about when he mentions [b:25tkjhzs]THE WISE[/b:25tkjhzs], now, don't [b:25tkjhzs]YOU[/b:25tkjhzs] and [b:25tkjhzs]I [/b:25tkjhzs](that's [b:25tkjhzs]WE[/b:25tkjhzs] <img src='/images/smileys/wink.gif' border='0' alt='Wink Smilie' /> ).
[b:1h1vbgtw]We[/b:1h1vbgtw] do indeed Wise Odo, or at least [b:1h1vbgtw]I[/b:1h1vbgtw] think [b:1h1vbgtw]I[/b:1h1vbgtw] do. :?
Yes,[b:3p9hv9w4][i:3p9hv9w4] I[/i:3p9hv9w4][/b:3p9hv9w4] see [b:3p9hv9w4][i:3p9hv9w4]you're[/i:3p9hv9w4][/b:3p9hv9w4] thinking what [b:3p9hv9w4][i:3p9hv9w4]I'm[/i:3p9hv9w4][/b:3p9hv9w4] thinking! <img src='/images/smileys/wink.gif' border='0' alt='Wink Smilie' />
[i:bt0md9om]we're all thinking what we're thinking
and what we're truly thinking
is all the truest thinking that we know


what Eldo's thinking is clearly what he's thinking
and as for Tinuviel - who would ever know
(compensated by a very perfect nose)


what GB's really thinking surely bears no thinking
it's hardly even thinking
that's how Liberal thinking always goes...! [/i:bt0md9om]

<img src='/images/smileys/wink.gif' border='0' alt='Wink Smilie' />

Lloyd George, Prime Minister (before that he was Welsh).

Wise Odo
[i:3gr5nl2i]Noom Chevaline and the Forum others,
Are thinking what they're thinking,
But how many thinkers of a thought can you have,
Without thinking that a thought has stretched too far?[/i:3gr5nl2i]

Lloyd George (after he was Welsh again)

Wise Odo

[i:2pxkwd9y]"Jesus saith: Their ears don't listen,
Their eyes don't glisten with truth.
Jesus saith: They cannot comprehend
That when you bend you change everything.
Jesus saith: When they change one mote,
(Sit back and gloat) they are not True Men,
Jesus saith: Women who follow false Men,
Become a coven. Verily! They ply the road of folly."[/i:2pxkwd9y]


[i:2pxkwd9y]"Jesus saith: Those who have eyes don't see,
Those who have ears don't listen
Those who think they love don't know what love is,
Those who stuff up Tolkien don't know what they're missin'."[/i:2pxkwd9y]

I must say, the channelling this morning is like lightning from a blue sky - oh the clarity - of the plain truthiness....! :ugeek:

Wise Odo
[i:2fzifi77]Oh what a wee lotta Scots there be,
Both in Scotland and Middle-earth, yes, indeed!
Does this imply we're really Hobbits,
Yes, we're Kilted haggis-lovin' hoggits!
Non-human Rangar Scothobbits are we![/i:2fzifi77]

Robbie Burns: "Poems by a Secret Non-human Scothobbit."

Wise Odo
Well, that is AMAZING, Wisey (not the poem itself, which is clearly shite, as usual, I mean no offense), for I have only just learnt that this Forum is riddled with Scots! We know about Mr Tyrant and Nagual and Hail Manwe (before he retired to Valinor - or wherever he went), of course, (and possibly GB who is descended from every race known to man and may have had a loose Hobbit somewhere in his shaky family tree - and no doubt a shameless Hobbit notwithstanding), but I have only recently recieved a Secret Confession that there is at least one more. (I won't reveal my sources, as you know how much I hate gossip!)

Now look at these postings on those Woses folk on one of the Vulgar Threads! Aren't those Pugel folk (or whatever they were) not reminiscent of Hobbits - Primordial Hobbits and therefore clearly not Men at all! Not MEN, no.

But what were they? It all becomes clear!


My theory (if it is not already patently obvious) is that the Pugel men were the selfsame Scothobbits that Robbie Burns mentioned in the poem you channelled! (I assume it was a poem you channelled badly btw - your methods are truly suspect, dear bro!) ..... Anyhow, I think we've solved an ancient mystery. And isn't it great to know that the primitive ancestors of the Hobbits are still living on in Scotland (I always had a feeling the Scots weren't quite human, you know - in a good way [i:3bbx9y51]not [/i:3bbx9y51]human, that is <img src='/images/smileys/bigsmile.gif' border='0' alt='Big Smile Smilie' /> ).

This why we have so many Scots on this Forum - it's like a Secret Meeting place for Primordial Hobbits (Scothobbits, that is!) :ugeek:

Oh my goodness! It explains something else... :oops: Oh this is sooooo indelicate.... but the truth must surely win out... :oops: When I accidentally saw Petty's sporran... well, at least, what he [i:3fq0jopo]said[/i:3fq0jopo] was his [i:3fq0jopo]sporran[/i:3fq0jopo]... :oops: well, I thought... why is his sporran [i:3fq0jopo]under[/i:3fq0jopo] his kilt? For aren't they usually [b:3fq0jopo][i:3fq0jopo]not[/i:3fq0jopo][/b:3fq0jopo] worn under the kilt? Well, I don't think it was a [i:3fq0jopo]sporran[/i:3fq0jopo] at all... :oops: But what I saw certainly wasn't what one would expect to see under a Scot's kilt (frilly knickers or family jewells) ... oh I can't say it... :oops: I can't say what I saw... :oops: except to say: what I saw [i:3fq0jopo]wasn't[/i:3fq0jopo] humanish or modern-hobbitish... :oops: though I now realize it must have been genuinely and naturally [i:3fq0jopo]Scottish[/i:3fq0jopo]!!! :oops: Or [size=150:3fq0jopo][i:3fq0jopo]Scothobbitish[/i:3fq0jopo][/size:3fq0jopo] as I now realize... :oops:

Well down Uncle Wise and Uncle Odo! We Modern Hobbits have now rediscovered our Extremely Primitive Ancestors!

What the Banks family seem to have in fact discovered here is a dirty mind, possibly a collective one!
A truer word was never said Mr Tyrant. <img src='/images/smileys/bigsmile.gif' border='0' alt='Big Smile Smilie' />

Mye gudnuss! Thiz place iz posh... larr-deee-darrr... Evreethin initz place... Posh.. not uh place ta find Odo, wuldn think....

[size=150:eyw730fv][i:eyw730fv][b:eyw730fv]Uncle Wizeeeee[/b:eyw730fv][/i:eyw730fv][/size:eyw730fv]!!!! ...

[size=150:eyw730fv][b:eyw730fv]Wizey! Wizey! Wizey! Oi! Oi! Oi! [/b:eyw730fv][/size:eyw730fv]
Oh my sweet Grandmother's Pendulous Boobies!!! :shock:

How on earth did you find your way here... :?

Did anyone see you come here.... I was prepared to tolerate you at that ghastly Libertine Cafe....but Here.....! :oops:

Oh my gnarled Grandad's Groinstrap....! :shock:

This is disastrous...! My poor reputation.... An utter disaster....

Quick! I'll let you out the back door.... :oops:
.... Wisey!


Oh there you are....

Hey! Is that Biffo you're wrestling....? How on earth did he find his way here...? And what are you tryingh to do with him.... Swet Eru! You're trying to push him out the back door! Ha! That's ripe! It's all right to send for him.. but not if it means he vulgarises your precious thread with his presence, now is it! :lol:
Oh be kind, Odo! This no laughing matter. Come on. I can't budge the fat lump of a thing! :x

[size=150:2uzvba2a][b:2uzvba2a]Move, Biffo! [/b:2uzvba2a][/size:2uzvba2a]


Well, don't just stand there, Odo!
Oi! Thatz not nice, Uncle Wizee. I'm not fatr. Ime solid muskle. 'ere! I'll lift ya bov me ead and spin ya round like whirligig... Yippee! luk atmee... Ima ellicopbta!! <img src='/images/smileys/bigsmile.gif' border='0' alt='Big Smile Smilie' />
Ohhhh....h..e...l...p..... meeee odddddddddohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Uncle Odo! Uncle Odo! What's all the racket....?




Bye, Uncle Odo........................ I'll see you later.......................!
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <img src='/images/smileys/bigsmile.gif' border='0' alt='Big Smile Smilie' />
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :oops:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 8-)
This thread has lost what semblance of sanity it used to have. :shock: :?
Agreed Eldo,so i suggest we RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! c ya!
Dear Forumers,

I have managed to rid this Thread of Biffo, having channelled some very useful emergency Martial Arts skills. So fear not, this Thread has been returned to it's fully Respectable status again! As to Biffo - let's face it, some families do have their Black Sheep (in my case, we have a White Brute! :roll: ) He will be half way back to the Kimberley's by now. I sent him back by Eagle. That seemed the best thing to do in the circumstances. I have also temporarily banned Odo from the thread too - as his raucous laughter (at my expense) was anything but respectable! Odo can be such a Moron at times - and I'm not the first to say it!

Anyway, now things are back in order, please forward your questions or requests for channeling to me at:

[size=150:2wzc1c9a][b:2wzc1c9a]ODO[/b:2wzc1c9a][/size:2wzc1c9a] (that is: [i:2wzc1c9a]The Respectable Thread[/i:2wzc1c9a]).

Wise Odo :ugeek:

(((((Now, what to do about GB? Biffo was definitely NOT the right option...)))))
If not Acceptance, perhaps a bit of Tolerance!!??? <img src='/images/smileys/wink.gif' border='0' alt='Wink Smilie' />


Just snuck in when You Know Who has his back turned, GB. Hey! [i:1k0qcw9w]Acceptance[/i:1k0qcw9w] and [i:1k0qcw9w]Tolerance[/i:1k0qcw9w] are not words you'll find on this Silly Thread! ... and no matter what Wisey thinks, it [i:1k0qcw9w]was [/i:1k0qcw9w]funny Biffo spinning Wisey around above his head! You should have seen it... :lol: :lol: :lol: oops! here he comes... gotta go... bloomin' Martial Arts....!...

"Tolerance" GB? Mmmm, let me just check my dictionary "T. Tyrant, tyrannical, tyrannosaurus, tedious (for when referring to LoTR films), tirade (ditto), terrible (and again), tonal, toss-pot (for insulting drunk elves in wine cellars or PJ) tofu (not sure how that got in there) Mmmm, nope my dictionary doesn't have a "tolerance."

Perhaps Wise Odo could channel me something on the subject for my enlightenment.
[i:14obyn7g]'twas tolerance killed Lady Slinky Cat,
"twas her sad mistake,"
said Mister Pratt.
"Oh yes Slinky Jane would still live,
She was a mild measure too much acceptant!
She should never have let me in,"
said Mr Pratt![/i:14obyn7g]

I always wondered what George Harrison meant here... :? It's something I constantly channel in my sleep... Disturbing, what! But a cautionary tale nonetheless!

Wise Odo
Thanks for that bit of channeling Wise Odo. Not sure it helped enough though as I feel a need for exceptional amounts of tolerance with some of the liberal loose thoughts going about this place at the moment. Even my own picnic is not immune from it. If you can channel me something soothing or failing that something about smiting and trampling the non-believer it might help.
Mr Tyrant, I am pleased to hear from you, it's been awhile. I am not totally ignorant of what is happening out on the Vulgar Threads, a little birdie keeps me informed - or might I say, a birdie-brainy! Yes, ou guessed it, good old Odo is my informant. Of course, I must help soothe you. When the Lesser Forumers seek my help I always give it, as you know full well by now. Yes, and word has it a certain NEWCOMER has been causing some waves, even stirring up old GB to acts of wishy-washy aggression. Perhaps he needs some soothing - but I dare say he's too high-filutin' and brainy to think he can learn anything here, even from the Truly Wise (me, that is). Anyway, something soothing... channel channel channel....

The days seem dark in Forumland,
Dark Forces wishy-washy rise,
Marshmallow Men oh so sticky,
But can't stick together, nowise.

Ah! Shall we fight them with a sword,
A club, a pike, a longish halberd?
Shall we gird our loins and bear a growl :-
Well, a growl will do, that's what I heard.

For they're flipsy-flopsy Marshmallow Men,
Thin of spirit but still quite thick,
Invite them to our campfires, lads,
Then we'll roast ’m on a stick.

That's all the good we'll get from them,
They're hardly Men, these Men so mellow,
On no they're not tough at all,
These wishy-washy namby fellows![/i:2yjkq6wa]

Sorry for stating the obvious, Mr Tyrant, but it was Confucius who wrote it, I merely channel.

Wise Odo
Now Odo, don't sell yourself short <img src='/images/smileys/wink.gif' border='0' alt='Wink Smilie' /> . You should know by now that as Brainy as I am, I still find a lot of Great Wisdom in your Channeling, despite its unreliable nature.

[i:19ppkho8]Only the wise can see through the ruse
Of Tolkien Liberals who smile and cruise,
Hear their talk of loving Old Man Willow,
And barrow-wights and Tom Bombadillo,
But the Wise see through their charming smiles,
Into those traitorous hearts, brimful of wiles,
They'll make a plea in Two Thousand Ten,
That's my prediction! It's what I contend!
I only hope my loyal fans, Woman and Man,
Will stand against their devilish cunning plans,
Or they'll make of Tom a powerful Lord,
And Goldberry a gorgeous grinning broad,
And Old Man Willow snarl with Yanky accent,
And the barrow-wights will be CG rent,
With witchy fire and cackles right through it:
I pray the Righteous won't let them do it! [/i:19ppkho8]

Tolkien: "The Hidden Tales. History of Middle-earth by Christopher Tolkien. Volume Thirty Seven (but blocked by powerful figures from publication).

See how beneficial my channeling is, GB. I can penetrate to the heart of Tolkien's suppressed writings! You cannot pass, Flame of Udun! :x

Wise Odo
You have not lost your touch Wise Odo, you really are so superior to your touchy brother.
Pearls of wisdom Wise Odo. If only the liberals would harken to your words.
Alright, I'm not even going to bother anymore. You're all much too stubborn <img src='/images/smileys/vevil.gif' border='0' alt='Very Evil Smilie' />

[i:1ae3taj6]Oh garlands for the stubborn,
Those who stand and fight the fight,
In snow in fire in continents,
They fight on both day and night!

Oh laud the brave and neat dressed,
Those dapper handsome heroes,
As they stand firm in the extreme,
Against all those Liberal Weirdos.

Do they turn and run, oh no,
Shoulder heaved against the wheel,
No matter what the Enemy say or do,
They'll not flip nor flop nor yield!

The startlingly handsome must fight on!
These champions of all that's good,
Charge into the Heart of Darkness,
Chop out their hearts of wood![/i:1ae3taj6]

Euripides (and he would know!)

Wise Odo
We're not' stubborn' Tin, can't imagine what would give you that impression, we are 'right'- there's a difference. :lol:
And of course Wise Odo being wise is always in the right, especially when it seems he's not.

[i:331o7duy]They say that the Right are always right,
It makes perfect sense I think,
But some there are who doubt the Right,
Yes, folk with souls that stink!

With souls that stink, I say, indeed!
This gorgeous man on strapping steed!
This humble King! This humble guy!
But an angry King, and I'll tell you why:

It's the wishywashy wibblylibbies,
It's the nambypamby tellytibbies,
Oh how they rant both night and day
(Their inner beings are so depraved),

They say the Classics can be changed!
What! Shall our best be rearranged?
No wonder I call them treasonous!
Seek to crush their unreasonableness!

They should have their heads lopped off,
But sadly the Libs have made us soft,
I pine for those days when evil Liberal types,
Would get the chop both day and night! [/i:331o7duy] .....................[Will someone pleeeeeaaaase come up with a [i:331o7duy]sigh [/i:331o7duy]smilee! :x )

La More de Arturus (lost poem of the Venerable Bede)

Wise Odo

What a to do, Tis sad indeed when a great channeler falls in a rut. <img src='/images/smileys/wink.gif' border='0' alt='Wink Smilie' />


(I'm sure you'll snap out of it eventually and discover more imaginative topics to riff on O' Oracle) :mrgreen:
Yes Gandalfs Beard. Wise Odo though he remains humorous is beginning to get a bit repetitive. Perhaps he needs to try and channel something new. He would not want to risk his losing legions of fans. Nor end up... ... boring them... :o ... The same comments, no matter how clever you rhyme them, can get tiresome. Come on now, Wise Odo. Give us something that does not sound like it comes from a scratched record. You know what I mean. Remember on old scratched gramophone records how the needle would jump and the same line of a song would repeat itself over and over and over... :lol:
You should channel a piece Wise Odo about impertinence and being patronized!! :lol:

[i:pbaanenh]Oh here he comes, the Grey One,
See his shimmer through the shim,
How long his beard, that speaks of years,
Long spent in the ways of learning.

He reads books all day, that's what they say,
His days are never wisp and whim,
Some ask if it's just the One Book,
To which he turns a smarmy grin.

He tries to do to others,
Only what they do to him,
But hector, harass, pontificate?
Would not that be close to sin?

Gently he sets out what to do,
Is this Teacher perhaps a Christian?
But the man he doth deny it - or not?
We have yet to get the truth from him!

He's a mysterious bossy figure, no doubt,
For a strong Spirit in his eyes doth glim,
Yes, a Mysterious Lordly figure,
Who they call the Grey Pilgrim![/i:pbaanenh]

From: T.S. Elliott: "Christian Tracts."

Wise Odo
If I did not know better, I might think you are talking about a [i:7qpk3esx]particular[/i:7qpk3esx] individual Wise Odo. :lol: (I might mention, your brother Odo is no better - or worse! - in this regard! :lol: ) By the way, I am comfortable in my beliefs. Do not assume though that I am a Christiam. I am guilty of being interested in the subject and I am not ashamed to say it. I am respectful toward Christianity, as I am toward other faiths. Oh! I guess that would make me wishywashy! <img src='/images/smileys/wink.gif' border='0' alt='Wink Smilie' /> If I seem preachy, it is only because I worry that folk might get offended by some of the jibes and barbs in your own speeches! Why scare off people with witticisms that people do not recognise immediately as witticisms. Who knows? Some people may not enjoy the idea of being jibed at - or snapped at (sorry pettytyrant - and Odo!!) I have by the way worked out by now that you are far more open minded than you perhaps let on. As to me being 'smarmy' - is it smarmy to suggest it might not hurt if you eased up bashing people over the head with your jibes and barbs all the time? <img src='/images/smileys/bigsmile.gif' border='0' alt='Big Smile Smilie' />
Hi everyone i'm totally new to this forum.
Interested in learning lots of brand new things. Hope we all will discuss our
knowledge and speak about several concepts on this community.
Welcome Sir.

You will meet many jolly folk on this Forum (not including pettytyrant who is a might crabbity) and discover a wide variety of viewpoints. Feel free to browse and meet-and-greet! Actually, you've entered the Thread of the Wisest and Nicest One of them All - that's ME, Wise Odo himself! How fortunate for you! <img src='/images/smileys/bigsmile.gif' border='0' alt='Big Smile Smilie' />

It's probably fair to say that it might take awhile for you to get used to the arrangements here! :lol: ) As a partial explanation of what I'm saying is to tell you that you have landed here on what I call a "Respectable" Thread. Not many of them, sad to say! But there are lots of "Vulgar" Threads as well, if that's your fancy. By all means go and explore them at your leisure. I do warn you though, they are [i:1428sbhd]messy[/i:1428sbhd] places! Things are just not as strict there as they might be. Mr Gandalfs Beard, our Moderator, is a good fellow but he just doesn't crack the whip enough I fear!!

Anyhow, Welcome!

Wise Odo
Hello BurtonGuinn. I have not been here all that long but long enough to know that the Bankses think they run the place. That is Wise Odo, Odo Banks, Mirabella Banks and Biffo Banks. Some see them as not a family but a set of personalities, but I am sure you will nut that out as you go. <img src='/images/smileys/wink.gif' border='0' alt='Wink Smilie' /> The Bankses are the closest thing we have here to what might be called [i:2i2vylf8]Trolls[/i:2i2vylf8] on other forums. Laugh along with them. They are quite harmless. You will find Gandalfs Beard, the current moderator, very helpful and a perfect gentlemen. So far I have found this to be an easy-going forum with a lot of good people on it. Though I hasten to add that Wise Odo is quite right about pettytyrant. That gentleman can be [i:2i2vylf8]crabbity,[/i:2i2vylf8] at times. "Crabbity" means something like [i:2i2vylf8]grumpy[/i:2i2vylf8] in Scotland as far as I know! :lol: 8-)
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