Thread: Jokes!
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How true, you missed out who knows how to cook like their mother though!
Now that is sterotyping. 
I'm not sure if this will get past the Grond-o-meter.
Little Johnny's Time of the Month
Little Johnny walks into a pharmacy and brings a box of tampons to the register.
The cashier looks at the boy and says, "Hi. Are these for your mom?"
Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, "Umm, no."
The cashier says, "Oh. Then they're for your sister?"
Little Johnny says, "uh-unh."
The cashier, now a bit curious, says, "Oh. Then they must be for your granny!"
Little Johnny says, "Nope."
The cashier is now really confused. Finally she asks, "Well, what are you going to do with them?"
Little Johnny says, "Well, I'm not sure yet. But on TV, they said if I buy these I can go fishing and swimming and horseback riding!"
Little Johnny's Time of the Month
Little Johnny walks into a pharmacy and brings a box of tampons to the register.
The cashier looks at the boy and says, "Hi. Are these for your mom?"
Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, "Umm, no."
The cashier says, "Oh. Then they're for your sister?"
Little Johnny says, "uh-unh."
The cashier, now a bit curious, says, "Oh. Then they must be for your granny!"
Little Johnny says, "Nope."
The cashier is now really confused. Finally she asks, "Well, what are you going to do with them?"
Little Johnny says, "Well, I'm not sure yet. But on TV, they said if I buy these I can go fishing and swimming and horseback riding!"
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to
become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the
whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly
emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain
and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error postBodys.
become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the
whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly
emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain
and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error postBodys.
Lol funny funny funny Ringy and virumor! So true too!
Ross that was funny too!
Ross that was funny too!
Well Ross, your joke registered quite high on the Grond-o-meter; however, as I've seen those commercials on daytime TV, I'll moderate my personal feelings and unless someone complains, let it stand. 
Thanks Grondy
How true Virumor.
New Rules For Employment
SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, Relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.
YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.
PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks:
Item Amount Gross pay ’1,222.02 Income tax ’244.40 Outgo tax ’45.21 State tax ’11.61 Interstate tax ’61.10 County tax ’6.11 City tax ’12.22 Rural tax ’4.44 Back tax’1.11 Front tax ’1.16 Side tax ’1.61 Up tax ’1.08 Down tax ’1.14 Tic-Tacs ’1.98 Thumbtacks ’3.93 Carpet tacks ’0.98 Stadium tax ’0.69 Flat tax ’8.32 Surtax ’2.23 Ma'am tax ’1.23 Corporate tax ’2.60 Parking fee ’5.00 F.I.C.A. ’81.88 T.G.I.F. Fund ’9.95 Life insurance ’5.85 Health insurance ’16.23 Dental insurance ’4.50 Mental insurance ’4.33 Disability ’2.50 Ability ’0.25 Liability ’3.41 Coffee ’6.85 Coffee Cups ’66.51 Floor rental ’16.85 Chair rental ’0.32 Desk rental ’4.32 Union dues ’5.85 Union donations ’3.77 Cash advance ’0.69 Cash retreats ’121.35 Overtime ’1.26 Undertime ’54.83 Grenwich Mean time ’9.00 Central time ’8.00 Mountain time ’7.00 Pacific time ’6.00 Time Out ’12.21 Oxygen ’10.02 Water ’16.54 Heat ’51.42 Cool air ’26.83 Hot air ’20.00 Miscellaneous ’113.29 Various ’8.01 Sundry ’12.09 ------- Net Take Home Pay $0.02
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations, or input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week.
The Management
How true Virumor.
New Rules For Employment
SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, Relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.
YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.
PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks:
Item Amount Gross pay ’1,222.02 Income tax ’244.40 Outgo tax ’45.21 State tax ’11.61 Interstate tax ’61.10 County tax ’6.11 City tax ’12.22 Rural tax ’4.44 Back tax’1.11 Front tax ’1.16 Side tax ’1.61 Up tax ’1.08 Down tax ’1.14 Tic-Tacs ’1.98 Thumbtacks ’3.93 Carpet tacks ’0.98 Stadium tax ’0.69 Flat tax ’8.32 Surtax ’2.23 Ma'am tax ’1.23 Corporate tax ’2.60 Parking fee ’5.00 F.I.C.A. ’81.88 T.G.I.F. Fund ’9.95 Life insurance ’5.85 Health insurance ’16.23 Dental insurance ’4.50 Mental insurance ’4.33 Disability ’2.50 Ability ’0.25 Liability ’3.41 Coffee ’6.85 Coffee Cups ’66.51 Floor rental ’16.85 Chair rental ’0.32 Desk rental ’4.32 Union dues ’5.85 Union donations ’3.77 Cash advance ’0.69 Cash retreats ’121.35 Overtime ’1.26 Undertime ’54.83 Grenwich Mean time ’9.00 Central time ’8.00 Mountain time ’7.00 Pacific time ’6.00 Time Out ’12.21 Oxygen ’10.02 Water ’16.54 Heat ’51.42 Cool air ’26.83 Hot air ’20.00 Miscellaneous ’113.29 Various ’8.01 Sundry ’12.09 ------- Net Take Home Pay $0.02
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations, or input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week.
The Management
Where's the joke? That's the notice that caused me to retire ten years ago.
Mariah Carey's quote:
Mariah Carey was one of the first celebrities to comment on the death of the King of Jordan. Mariah told CNN "I'm inconsolable at the present time, I was a very good friend of Jordan, he was probably the greatest basketball player this country has ever seen, we will never see his like again".
When told by reporters that it was King Hussein of Jordan who had died and not Michael Jordan, Mariah was then led away by her security in a state of "confusion".
---
She's just too much!
Mariah Carey was one of the first celebrities to comment on the death of the King of Jordan. Mariah told CNN "I'm inconsolable at the present time, I was a very good friend of Jordan, he was probably the greatest basketball player this country has ever seen, we will never see his like again".
When told by reporters that it was King Hussein of Jordan who had died and not Michael Jordan, Mariah was then led away by her security in a state of "confusion".
---
She's just too much!
Lol LadyF! And poor Aire looks like her!
WHAT? DO NOT!!!
Aire looks now't like Mariah Carrey, for one thing Aire is pretty!
Two confirmed bachelors were sitting and talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.
"I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it."
"Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second.
"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way... 'Take a clean dish and..........."
"I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it."
"Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second.
"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way... 'Take a clean dish and..........."
Hang on a minute I'm a bachelor and.. Oh yes, you have a point! 
a man walked into a bar and said ouch
Wanna know why the kid ate his homework?
His teacher said it was a "peice of cake"
His teacher said it was a "peice of cake"
This was in a email I received:
Quote:
What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along with a recipe.
What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."
What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along with a recipe.
What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."
This is supposed to be a true story. I wont vouch for that, but who knows, it could happen.
Directly translated from a Norwegian Fishery-newspaper; sorry for the bad language..
"I was on a flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles. We took of with a 45 min delay, and everyone was rather annoyed. Unexpectedly we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight-attendent explained that there would be another 45 min delay, and that if we wanted to we could leave the plane for 30 min to strech our legs. Everyone left the airplane, exept for a blind gentleman. I had noticed him when I went past him earlier, and could see that he had flown before, as his dog was lying calm and quiet under the seat in front of him during the whole flight. I also noticed the man had flown the exact same trip before, as the pilot went up to him and said his name: "Keith, we are staying in Sacramento for almost an hour, would you like to strech your legs a bit?" Keith answered: "No, thank you. But perhaps the dog could do with a walk?"
Imagine the scene: All the people by the gate suddenly got very quiet as they looked up and saw the pilot leave the plane with a guide dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. They tried not only to change the tickets, but also to change the airline!"
Directly translated from a Norwegian Fishery-newspaper; sorry for the bad language..
"I was on a flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles. We took of with a 45 min delay, and everyone was rather annoyed. Unexpectedly we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight-attendent explained that there would be another 45 min delay, and that if we wanted to we could leave the plane for 30 min to strech our legs. Everyone left the airplane, exept for a blind gentleman. I had noticed him when I went past him earlier, and could see that he had flown before, as his dog was lying calm and quiet under the seat in front of him during the whole flight. I also noticed the man had flown the exact same trip before, as the pilot went up to him and said his name: "Keith, we are staying in Sacramento for almost an hour, would you like to strech your legs a bit?" Keith answered: "No, thank you. But perhaps the dog could do with a walk?"
Imagine the scene: All the people by the gate suddenly got very quiet as they looked up and saw the pilot leave the plane with a guide dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. They tried not only to change the tickets, but also to change the airline!"
What do you call a girl leaning on a pole?
oops
[Edited on 25/9/2003 by Delidia]
oops
[Edited on 25/9/2003 by Delidia]
What do you call a Nun with a washing machine on her head?
Sister-matic
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the sea?
Bob
What do you call a man under a pile of leaves?
Russel
What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?
Doug
Many more ready all as equally bad.
Sister-matic
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the sea?
Bob
What do you call a man under a pile of leaves?
Russel
What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?
Doug
Many more ready all as equally bad.
Mary had a little lamb her father shot it dead,and now Mary takes her lamb to school between two hunks of bread..
(courtesy of my brother Excelsior)
(courtesy of my brother Excelsior)
Lol Ross, what do you call a man with no arms, no legs sitting at your door?
Matt
Matt
Quote:
Imagine the scene: All the people by the gate suddenly got very quiet as they looked up and saw the pilot leave the plane with a guide dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. They tried not only to change the tickets, but also to change the airline!"
Imagine the scene: All the people by the gate suddenly got very quiet as they looked up and saw the pilot leave the plane with a guide dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. They tried not only to change the tickets, but also to change the airline!"
Oh to have seen their faces!! 
Quote:
... They tried not only to change the tickets, but also to change the airline!"
I don't know why they were so worried, after all, the dog was a registered Airdale and his commercial pilots licence was up to date.... They tried not only to change the tickets, but also to change the airline!"
Quote:
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
That's really neat!
Lol at the Cinderella joke!
From an e-mail i got. I think I have seen a similar one but from a mans piont of view.
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
and noticed a slowdown in over-all performance,
particularly in the flower and jewelry application
that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal
Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs
such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. And now Conversation 1.5
no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems
but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
(And the reply...)
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an
Entertainment package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try entering the command C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME
and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works
as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically
run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to
Default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a
very bad program that will create Snoringloudly.wav files. Whatever you do,
DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.
These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have a limited memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly. You might consider additional
software to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
and noticed a slowdown in over-all performance,
particularly in the flower and jewelry application
that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal
Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs
such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. And now Conversation 1.5
no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems
but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
(And the reply...)
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an
Entertainment package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try entering the command C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME
and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works
as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically
run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to
Default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a
very bad program that will create Snoringloudly.wav files. Whatever you do,
DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.
These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have a limited memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly. You might consider additional
software to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
The Spell Checker Blews
Eye halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marquees four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.
Author Unknown (Grondy made up the title)
Eye halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marquees four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.
Author Unknown (Grondy made up the title)
Read this exciting behind-the-scenes documentary of the making of Peter Johnson's adaptation of the Lord of the Rings, with never-before-seen extras such as the Bluish-Black Tower, Sauron's wife Shauron, a Fell Beast not yet housetrained, and more!
[url=http://www.jimcalagon.supanet.com/rpt46.htm] lol
WARNING the above link contains many asterisked occurrences of the forbidden words. Still it is funny if you can ignore the juvenile swearing. - Grondy
[Edited on 5/10/2003 by Grondmaster]
[url=http://www.jimcalagon.supanet.com/rpt46.htm] lol
WARNING the above link contains many asterisked occurrences of the forbidden words. Still it is funny if you can ignore the juvenile swearing. - Grondy[Edited on 5/10/2003 by Grondmaster]
Another Blonde joke:
This blonde was so smart she said she could name the capitols of all the states in the USA.
'Okay,' said her friend, 'what's the capitol of California?'
'C', said she.
This blonde was so smart she said she could name the capitols of all the states in the USA.
'Okay,' said her friend, 'what's the capitol of California?'
'C', said she.
HAHA! Poor lil boy!! I fu like more nasty jokes, go here:
You may post your jokes here if they are clean; you may not post links to the dirty ones on P-T!
[Edited on 16/10/2003 by Grondmaster]
You may post your jokes here if they are clean; you may not post links to the dirty ones on P-T! [Edited on 16/10/2003 by Grondmaster]
OOPS!!! OMG!!! i read the wrong joke!! LOL!!! I thought that when it brought me here it brought me to page 1 but it brought me to like pg 4! Oh well, the oke was funny!
Calm down Asteroth, it's just a joke. Blonde women don't really put tippex on the monitor screen, At least I think not!
Asteroth I don't really care.Like Ross said it's just a joke and nothing more. 
Quote:
Blonde women don't really put tippex on the monitor screen, ...
For the rest of my fellow colonists, "tippex" is another brand name similar to "wite out" or "liquid paper" typing correction fluid.Blonde women don't really put tippex on the monitor screen, ...
I don't know if any of you have got this from emails, but I though the "Bugging You" song is pretty funny
Here's the link:
http://img.tapuz.co.il/forums/8572800.swf
Here's the link:
http://img.tapuz.co.il/forums/8572800.swf
I don't know if the moderators will allow this...
Sorry, Acorma. A bit too close to the knuckle.
[Edited on 27/10/2003 by Valedhelgwath]
Sorry, Acorma. A bit too close to the knuckle.
[Edited on 27/10/2003 by Valedhelgwath]
Ringy,did you make those all up?
Wayhey I'm a OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER.
On this subject Ross' patent pending Lift fart cover up techniques.
1. pretend you have a cold and just smile at people if they look at you.
2. shift the blame look funny at either the weirdest (after yourself), smallest, oldest (they eat cabbage) or fattest (they just eat any thing) person in the lift and tut under your breath throwing in the occasional dirth b*****d.
3. my personal favourite shout in a darts commentator sort of way 180 and ask if anyone in the lift can beat it.
All of these will avoid the embaresment of people either thinking it's you or leave people to busy trying to escape the lift as they think they're trapped in with a mental patient.
On this subject Ross' patent pending Lift fart cover up techniques.
1. pretend you have a cold and just smile at people if they look at you.
2. shift the blame look funny at either the weirdest (after yourself), smallest, oldest (they eat cabbage) or fattest (they just eat any thing) person in the lift and tut under your breath throwing in the occasional dirth b*****d.
3. my personal favourite shout in a darts commentator sort of way 180 and ask if anyone in the lift can beat it.
All of these will avoid the embaresment of people either thinking it's you or leave people to busy trying to escape the lift as they think they're trapped in with a mental patient.
Okay I haven't got a joke, but if some one tells a lame joke and you don't get it, but still feel you ought to laugh, click here for a good substitute.
Use your browser's back arrow to return to this page.
( This worked fine with the Internet Explorer browser, buy I received no sound when I tried the above link with the Mozillza Firebird Browser. I may just need an audio plug in for Mozilla.)
Use your browser's back arrow to return to this page.
( This worked fine with the Internet Explorer browser, buy I received no sound when I tried the above link with the Mozillza Firebird Browser. I may just need an audio plug in for Mozilla.)
After a rather trying day (waiting to hear some news on a family member in hospital) I had been bombarded by the same telelmaketer all day. And while in the chatroom talking with a few peeps one of them made up his own response to say to annoying telelmaketers. No offense to people here who happen to be telelmarketers, but after a while receiving calls for useless stuff when there are more important calls that are trying to get through.
***********************************
Telemarketing 101
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, are they married?, kids?, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company..." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
6. Say "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?
9. After the Telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realise it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her HOME phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their HOME numbers you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me, either!" Hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder...louder...
20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
***********************************
Telemarketing 101
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, are they married?, kids?, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company..." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
6. Say "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?
9. After the Telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realise it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her HOME phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their HOME numbers you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me, either!" Hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder...louder...
20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
Nice one, Ainamenelwen.
I can't wait to try a few of those out.
I can't wait to try a few of those out.
I've done number 4 a couple of times before.
daily chuckle
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened
A four year old girl surprised her father in the bathroom as he was about to enter the shower. She turned and ran out again, yelling: "Mommy, mommy! Did you know daddy is a man?!"
Cats and Dogs
Excerpts from a Dog's diary
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Excerpts from a Cat's diary
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
Excerpts from a Dog's diary
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Excerpts from a Cat's diary
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
Here are some silly ones that make me chuckle:
Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud.
Q: What do you call a fly with no wings or legs?
A: A raisin.
Q: What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A: A wonkey.
Q: What do you call a donkey with 3 legs and 1 eye?
A: A winky wonkey.
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea.
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A: Still no idea.
Q: What is green and lies 50 feet in the air?
A: A dead caterpillar.
Finally one that my 5 year old nephew told me last week:
Q: Why is Tigger always dirty?
A: Because he keeps playing with Pooh.
Should I be more worried that I'm on the same mental level as a 5 year old?
Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud.
Q: What do you call a fly with no wings or legs?
A: A raisin.
Q: What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A: A wonkey.
Q: What do you call a donkey with 3 legs and 1 eye?
A: A winky wonkey.
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea.
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A: Still no idea.
Q: What is green and lies 50 feet in the air?
A: A dead caterpillar.
Finally one that my 5 year old nephew told me last week:
Q: Why is Tigger always dirty?
A: Because he keeps playing with Pooh.
Should I be more worried that I'm on the same mental level as a 5 year old?
Quote:
Should I be more worried that I'm on the same mental level as a 5 year old?
Naw, I just chalk that symptom up as one of the side-benefits of undergoing my second childhood. Should I be more worried that I'm on the same mental level as a 5 year old?
These are mostly old and may have showed up here before, However:
Quote:
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses On And Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask "You Want Fries With That?"
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5 . Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For S*xual Favors"
7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Dont Use Any Punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Ask People What S*x They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
...And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...
20. Paste These On Your Refrigerator Door And Read Them Through Prior To Each Opening.
...Smile...Its Called Therapy...?
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses On And Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask "You Want Fries With That?"
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5 . Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For S*xual Favors"
7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Dont Use Any Punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Ask People What S*x They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
...And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...
20. Paste These On Your Refrigerator Door And Read Them Through Prior To Each Opening.
...Smile...Its Called Therapy...?
You know you're Canadian when......
Almost everything is spelled "wrong". Such as Colour instead of color, neighbours instead of neighbors, etc.
Contests run by anyone other than the government have "skill-testing questions" that winners must answer correctly before they can claim a prize.
Everything is labelled in English and French.
Everything is measured in metric (no the temp. doesn't drop at the border nor does the speed limit double)
It's pronounced zed not zee, roof not ruff, ketchup not catsup etc.
Milk comes in plastic bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
Mountain Dew has no caffeine.
People actually take vacations in Cuba and Cuban cigars are readily available.
People end a lot of their sentences with eh?
People give distances in time not miles.
Red ribbons indicate 1st place while blue ribbons indicate 2nd place.
Teenagers can legally drink. 18 in Alberta, Quebec, and Manitoba. 19 for the rest.
The beer is stronger and the cigarettes weaker.
The big banks are TD Canada Trust, CIBC, Royal, Scotia, Bank of Montreal, National Bank of Canada and Hong Kong Bank of Canada.
The biggest department stores are The Bay, Sears, Zellers and WalMart.
Almost everything is spelled "wrong". Such as Colour instead of color, neighbours instead of neighbors, etc.
Contests run by anyone other than the government have "skill-testing questions" that winners must answer correctly before they can claim a prize.
Everything is labelled in English and French.
Everything is measured in metric (no the temp. doesn't drop at the border nor does the speed limit double)
It's pronounced zed not zee, roof not ruff, ketchup not catsup etc.
Milk comes in plastic bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
Mountain Dew has no caffeine.
People actually take vacations in Cuba and Cuban cigars are readily available.
People end a lot of their sentences with eh?
People give distances in time not miles.
Red ribbons indicate 1st place while blue ribbons indicate 2nd place.
Teenagers can legally drink. 18 in Alberta, Quebec, and Manitoba. 19 for the rest.
The beer is stronger and the cigarettes weaker.
The big banks are TD Canada Trust, CIBC, Royal, Scotia, Bank of Montreal, National Bank of Canada and Hong Kong Bank of Canada.
The biggest department stores are The Bay, Sears, Zellers and WalMart.
I'm liking these jokes. Let me try one...
Question: What did the Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac do?
Answer: Stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.
Question: What did the Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac do?
Answer: Stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.
