Message Board | Rules

Thread: The brooding club

Bottom of Page    Message Board > Misc Guilds > The brooding club   << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] >>
Sad Smilie Too bad, Ally. I don't know what to say, really. It's not a thing I can help with, I think. Not a problem I can imagine facing. But keep tough, because I think you're definitely right.

My broodings are political lately, and I don't like to expand over that topic anyway, so I won't.

[Edited on 15/11/2002 by TomBombadillo]
It's a difficult one to have to deal with, Allyssa. At your age you should not have to put up with such behaviour from your father, but in his eyes you are probably still his "little girl". Normally the easiest solution would just be to walk away and let him come to you on your terms if he wanted to see you. You, however, need your parents as a babysitter so you cannot do this (besides it's not a good thing to alienate yourself from your parents). Your father probably realises you need them, and therefore knows he can say pretty much what he likes to you.

Is your father not the sort of person who you can reason with? Couldn't you tell him that at your age you are old enough to make your own decisions and bring your children up the way you want to? Does he know how much it annoys you, and how close you are to not visiting anymore.

All I'll say is that I think Bush is the most foolish president of the US I have ever seen. Sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings by saying that, it was not my intention at all, I just wanted to get that off my chest.
Okay, so it's been said in several other posts, with arguments and counter comments. Nothing has been resolved short of people getting upset. Can we let this one rest now.
But speaking of getting things off your chest, this thread is wonderful for just that. I felt so much better after posting the above, because I felt like I was telling someone about it. Thanks for listening guys! I Love You Smilie

[Edited on 16/11/2002 by Allyssa]
LOL Ross, I don't nag him often, I have given up. If I nag, it DOES NOT get done. I have found a solution, I hire people to do the things that I can't do and just enjoy spending as much time as I can with him. We get along so much better since I learned how to solve this problem. That is why I was so impressed with him, doing the things he did this weekend. I did not have to call anyone to fix them, and I would probably waited until January so that I could spend more money on Christmas presents. lol.

Are we suppose to talk about sex here on PT? Well, I hope my marriage, never goes the way your mother's has. So far so good here, and we have been married for 9 years.
Thumbs Up Smilie Glad that's sorted out then, Ally. Big Smile Smilie

Okay, so it's been said in several other posts, with arguments and counter comments. Nothing has been resolved short of people getting upset. Can we let this one rest now.

Whoops! Sorry Val and everyone else. I'll edit my post. Didn't mean to upset anyone. Disturbed Smilie

[Edited on 15/11/2002 by TomBombadillo]
Not to worry, Tommy. You were away when the other thread got a bit out of hand, but it all started in a similar vein to this one. Thanks for removing your comment. Because we are a multi-national site, any sort of political comment is likely to offend someone.
but I do like it when he does stuff and I can stop nagging him about them.

Oh come on Mellie every woman likes being able to nagg at there husband, Boyfriend or grilfriend. It is what wives do best! My mother's the whole argument for being against marriage! Well and the fact the sex dries up!
I am happy to hear that Chikakat.

Well, I again have no boods today. I am a very happy girl. lol I actually have a praise. lol

My hubby is the laziest person that I know, but this weekend he did several things around the house for me that really needed to be done. The light switch in the master bath had flaked out, and when you turned it off, it did not go off, but stayed on. Kinda scary, because it could be a fire hazzard. So he fixed it. The sink in Robbie's bathroom, kept running and we could not turn it off completely. He fixed it. The little thing in the toilet tank that lets water go in and out of the tank kept getting stuck and would keep running, and you had to take the top off and put it back in place every time it was used. He fixed that too. We also had a lamp that the shade would not stay in place, and kept falling when ever you walked by it. The cats also liked to play with it and knock it off. He fixed it too, AND I have a capi shell lamp in the living room that we could not use because the cord sizzled out on us, he re wired it.

I was soooo amazed. I called my mom and told her, and she asked if he was ill or something. She could not believe it. Then on Sunday, he fixed her car. Makes me wonder if maybe my mom is right, could he be sick? lol I hope not, but I do like it when he does stuff and I can stop nagging him about them.

Oh, and he fixed one of the computers and i can now print again. Our computers are all networked some way, and the server went down, and I could not access the printer, on the network.

Mellie is a very happy camper.
so, I'm away from home for the first time (last time I saw my whole family was in August). And all the sudden, bad things are happening to my family, and it's scaring me to death. My mom went to the doctor and they found a mass in her side...they don't know if it's cancer or whatever. Also, my dad was in a bad car accident...some lady ran a yield and smashed into his truck...totaled the thing...he's ok, I think, except for some back problems. Also, he had to go to a neurologist because he can't remember things sometimes (more so than normal). And I know that none of this is probably anything really serious, but I'm far from home and if something really bad happens, I can't get home to see them right away...and I think that's what weirds me out. I don't know if this is homesickness or what, because I don't feel like I want to go home, but more like I want to be able to be home if I need to. I don't know...most of you all are away from home - did you guys go through this kind of thing? how did you deal with it?
I'm really sorry to hear that Chikakat, it must be really worrying for you.

I don't think the problem is so much homesickness as missing your parents and wanting to be there for them. When you live with them, you are there every time something happens. When you are away, however, time seems to flow differently, and so much seems to happen in a short while. It is this compression of events that I found the strangest thing to deal with. After three years of just seeing my parents during holidays, I felt something akin to being a stranger when I finished university and went back home. So much had happened that I hadn't been a part of (even silly things like the walls being decorated a different colour).

From what you have said, two worrying events have happened. Your mother possibly has cancer (I pray that she hasn't) and your father has been involved in a serious accident. These are things that would upset anyone, whether they live away from home or not. The fact that you are a long way away makes this situation worse for you because you are not there to offer your support, nor can you be reassured that your parents are all right.

I was about the same age as you when I left home for the first time, and my father became ill while I was away, too. Thankfully he recovered, but it was enough to make me start thinking about mortality and what life would be like without my parents. Every day since then this thought has cropped up into my mind, and though they are both still well, I still dread the day that I get a telephone call telling me something has happened to one of them. It is a really strange, dark thought, but I'm sure most people possibly experience it. This is perhaps what is happening to you at the moment Chikakat.

As to what you do about the situation.... You either continue with your studies, keeping in touch with your parents by whatever means you can, telephone, e-mail etc, and hope for the best. If the worse comes to the worse, you can then go home to lend your support. Your other option is to return home and delay your studies. Only you can choose which option is best for you, but the latter might delay your studies for far longer than you at first envisage. A lot of people who interrupt their studies, for whatever reason, never return to finishing them.

Not the best of advice for you really, Chika. I hope everything works out well for you and your family though. My thoughts will be with you.
As are mine Chikakat. I don't think I can say anymore than Val has done, I will keep your family in my prayers.
Dear Chika,
I left my parents to study in another city when I was 18 and it was hard, although I really wanted to go. The first year was really bad, I was very homesick. Things get better when I joined a student club of people interested in countryside walking. We quickly become real friends, ready to share everything, it was fantastic!
Also now I am living quite far away from my parents. However, I am making them long phone calls every day and so we all feel we are together. It is almost as if I were in another room!... Of course it is rather expensive. But I decided I'd rather not to buy some not-so-useful things...
I do not known whether this can be of any help... but please feel that I am with you and that I feel concerned...
I was off town this summer and the only thing that pumped in my mind was if everybody was allright at home....I understand your concern,but it might be as well a twisted coincidence.Hope everything turns out allright.
Well chika, as you probably know I went away from home this year too, cos I went to study in another town, probably just like you too. And in the very beginning I felt so homesick I thought I'd die. But then I met some really nice people, made some friends, and it all worked out fine. I'm far away from home too, on the totally other site of the country as where I live, but if I really want to go home, I can be there in about 2 and a half hours by train and then another hour by bus... I know how you're feeling, because in the first week I was away from home, sth happened to my brother and I didn't know about it until I got home in the weekend. It wasn't that bad, of course, but still I would have liked to know. It's not the same thing, I know, but it's about the same feeling you get. Anyway, I'll send all the strenght I can miss over to you, and I hope things turn out ok for you...
thank you, guys Smile Smilie
Great news Chika!
For once all our prayers seemed to have worked. I'm really pleased for you and your mother, Chikakat. It must be such a relief. What an aweful mistake to make though.
Thumbs Up Smilie

Teachers seem to know the times on which you are the busiest, so at those times they keep nagging you and giving you more stuff to do. Exploding Head Smilie
I don't have a problem with missing the places I live. I lived in my home town for nineteen years I could guide people over the rural areas with no problem, I even knew of places that other people didn't, But could I tell you were a street round the corner from my house was, Could I *******. Now I have moved the pattern has repaeted it self, This is the thing that I am brooding over. Shallow some of you may say, I say why can't they have trees on street corners then I would be able to direct people without looking like a div!

[Edited on 23/11/2002 by Grondmaster]
I am so glad Chika! And I imagine how relieved you must be, you and all your family! !
I hope that you will see your parents during Christmas holidays? You will all be so happy! Big Smile Smilie Big Smile Smilie Big Smile Smilie
I am sorry to hear that things are not going so well with you, chikakat. I can't really think of any better advice than what has already been said, just know my thoughts are with you. Smile Smilie
My only brood at the moment is worrying about my grandmother's house. That is still on my mind a lot.

Well, for us Americans Thanksgiving is coming up. We are suppose to go to Alabama to visit Matthew's family. I am really looking forward to it this year. I am concerned about the actual drive. I am hoping it won't be too bad. I don't do well in cars, these days, but Matthew has a great family, and I love visiting them. His sister drives me nuts after a few days, but we do get along pretty well.

Anyone from PT live along I-20 between Texas, Louisanna, Mississippi, or in Alabama? Maybe we could meet somewhere and have lunch or coffee or something.
I do not live in Texas, Lousiana, Mississippi or Alabama, unfortunetly. But I do hope you have a happy Thanksgiving. Actually I am not looking forward to my Thanksgiving at all, but it will be a short one this year luckily. I don't do well in cars either. I am sorry about your grandmothers house. So Happy Thanksgiving!
so we found out for sure that my mom doesn't have cancer (thank God) Big Smile Smilie

Turns out the doctors messed up the xray or MRI or whatever it was and so things showed up on the printout that weren't actually there...when they sent her for more tests, they didn't find anything at all. *sigh of relief*
Yeah, happy Thanksgiving Mellie.

Hey Mellie, you know that little coffeeshop along the road from Texas to Lousiana? Tongue Smilie I can meet you there if you like. Say 12.30? Big Smile Smilie
ok, see you thursday. lol
Grondy, that is a pretty standard menu in our families too. Although, until I spent Thanksgiving with Matthew's family, I had never had candided yam/sweet potatoes (yes, I know there is a difference) I asked my mom about it and she said that she did not make them, because she did not like them, and was forced to eat them as a child.

We also don't have mince meat pies, for Thanksgiving. I'm not sure why either. hmmm, going to have to ask about that one too.

Well, this is the brooding club. So I have to complain today.

1. Since this long trip down here, to Alabama, I have been in a lot of pain from the car ride. I have taken more pain pills in the last 3 days than I have in the last 3 months!!!!! It is very frustrating, because I have missed out on doing a lot of things.

On a good note, Matthew's family is great, and the things I have gotten to do, have been wonderful. So, on Thanksgiving, that was one of the things I really did have to be thankful for.

2. My sister-in-law. She is so loud and opinionated, and her opinions are loud. I don't always dis-agree, with her, but she just has to say hers over everyone else's. Even when she is right and we agree with her. I love her to death, she has a heart of gold, and as big as Texas, but I just wish she could talk a bit quieter. We really do have a lot of fun together. She is a little over a year older than I am, and so, we grew up about the same, but we are so different. It is a lot of fun. I just want her to shut up!!!!!!!!!

My broods: why does Saint-Nicolas begins to appear halfway down September when he's celebrated on 6 December, and why does Santa Claus appears on the streets halfway down October when he's celebrated 25 December?! Exploding Head Smilie
hey wait...I thought Saint Nicholas and Santa Claus were the same...also, what happens on December 6? Merry Christmas Smilie
hey wait...I thought Saint Nicholas and Santa Claus were the same...also, what happens on December 6? Merry Christmas Smilie
They are different over here Smile Smilie
I'm kind of puzzled about the December 6th thing though, we (NL) "celebrate" Saint Nic at the evening of December 5th Smile Smilie

Hey Gandalf good to have you back and don't be a stranger. Happy Elf Smilie

Gang, this is the same Gandalf who was one of the Moderators when I first found this site way back when, (probably about April 2000 or 2001). He was so nice I decided to call Planet-Tolkien my home. Thanks Gandalf. Orc With Thumbs Up Smilie
hey wait...I thought Saint Nicholas and Santa Claus were the same

No saint Nicholas is actually a saint, where Santa Claus is a marketing gimick originally invented by the Coca-Cola company!
Can I have a moan? I am really not looking forward to christmas at all. I've been reading through the 'leaving' thread about how everyone is spending christmas and it's brought it home to me just how rotton mine's going to be again. The main problem is a row I had with my mom about a year and a half ago. She accused me of being a really bad daughter, even though I've always been there for her. She was really nasty and said some awful things. I asked for an apology but she wouldn't so now we havent spoken for 18 months. This sort of thing has happened in the past and even when it wasnt my fault i've always apologised, because I hate atmospheres and arguments, so just this once I asked for her to apologise and this has happened. Because she's not speaking to me most of my family won't speak to me either. At the moment my sisters the only one who'll have anthing to do with me. I wish I could just forget about christmas but I'll have to put a face on because of my son who's 10.
Hey Gandalf good to have you back and don't be a stranger. Happy Elf Smilie

Gang, this is the same Gandalf who was one of the Moderators when I first found this site way back when, (probably about April 2000 or 2001). He was so nice I decided to call Planet-Tolkien my home. Thanks Gandalf. Orc With Thumbs Up Smilie
You're welcome Grond...
I think it was 2000 by the way Smile Smilie

[Edited on 2/12/2002 by Gandalf]
Eolynn: Welcome to our forum, again in case I already did so in October. Happy Elf Smilie

Very Sad Smilie Your problem is very sad. All I can say is unless you can once more swallow your pride and return to your family, your son will miss one of the greater parts of Christmas, the family gathering. If you get along with the rest of your family and it is only your mother giving you the problem you may have to put up with her barbs for the sake of your son. If the problem is family wide then maybe you don't want your son associating with them.

The above is just my humble opinion and should be taken with a grain of salt, for it plus a dollar may only buy you a cup of coffee. Let's see what the others have to say. Happy Elf Smilie
Eolynn your mother is a bully I have the same problem with my father and until I stood up to him and made him appologise for once he made every body's life a hell. Your mother will come to you first you don't need her were as you and your son are the gateway to her immortallity. I sudjest you talk to your family and remind them of all the times that she has done this to tthem they will soon change there minds about her and then she will have to appologise.
Very tricky situation, Eolynn. The trouble with families, is that even when you are right, you still loose. Being ignored by your mother is cruel enough, but to have your siblings shun you as well is totally unfair. I hope you have someone close to you to comfort you.

I agree with Ross that your mother is a bully, but she probably doesn't realise that she is. It won't do any good to tell her, so don't! Your siblings should realise though. One day, it will be one of their turns to be "the bad one", and they will suddenly know how you feel. You might find that they will then speak to you.

As for christmas, you have to decide whether you can bear to join your family. If there is a lot of friction in the air, I suspect that your son won't enjoy it anyway and will be just as hurt and confused as he would if you did not attend.

Hope this helps. It is just my opinion though, and I could well be completely wrong.
Thank you. I didn't think anyone else would understand. Someone at work suggested that I was a bad daughter for expecting an apology from my mother (how dare I). I have always done so much for my mother ie all her shopping, sorting out her bills, listening to her for hours moaning about everyone else in the family for hours every evening on the phone). My brother is really anoyed because now he is having to do some of the things I had to do for her. My aunt is annoyed because my mom rings her all the time to tell her how nobody helps her and she is all alone.
My son still goes to see her most weekends ( i'm not a complete bitch) but even he comes back feeling guilty because she moans at him about me. You'd think she was in her 70's and quite dependant but she's 55.
The more you tell us about your mother,Eolynn, the more shocked I am at how selfish she is. Doesn't she ever think of anyone but herself? It is particularly unfair of her to bad mouth you to your son. That kind of thing can be really distressing to a child.

I hope something happens to improve your family situation soon. Big Smile Smilie
I've bitten my finger nails and now there hurting, I'm babysitting yet again my nephew will soom start thinking I'm his mother and father rolled into one and my sister hasn't got ADSL so this connection is really slow!
I was going to say, "Poor baby!" Baby Girl Smilie <--------((( (pretend it's blue) But seeing as I have broadband cable, that would be gloating, highly unfair. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie So ... Sorry Ross hurry on home where you have the faster service. Happy Elf Smilie Baby sitting is the pits unless you can play cowboys and Indians where you are the Indian and can tie-up the cowboy. NOTE: I don't actually recommend doing this as the parents usually frown on it. Shaking Head Smilie
It also slightly looks like some sort of sexual deviancy tying up your tweenty month old nephew!
I'm happy though, back on the old broad band, oh hang on you're not allowed on here unless you're misserable (sound of thuncking) oh no that phone accidently fell on my foot.
It's not fair Cadbury's animal cookies are giving you the chance to be a zoo keeper for the day but you have to be un der the age of sixteen. I want to play with the chimps, although maybe the gibbons would be better as they are nearer ny intellectual level (Ross at this moment tries to sniff his own Butt, not a pretty sight)
Hey! Gandalf's back! Welcome back! Good to see you around here again. Do hang on! Big Smile Smilie

Eolynn, I'm so sorry for you about all this, but all I can say is that after reading your story, is that your mother is indeed very selfish and I think she should apologize. And it's definitely not your fault.
Thanks the police arrived at 2.30 this morning good response time considering I rang them at 6.30, I have had them give him a warning so that if anything like this happens again he will be arrested. We have also placed a Harrasement order on him so that if he phones my sister again and is abusive he will be arrested.
However my sisters boyfriend found out about it from my other brother and has gone looking for him.
I second everything that has been said here regarding your mother, Eoylnn. I think she is very selfish and this is definately not your fault. It is shocking to think that she would talk about you to your son!!! Mad Smilie The only advice I can give you is that your mother is probably lonely and confused and if you just let her know that you want to make up it may help. And you might want to talk with your son a little, because I know from similar experiences that this is probably hurting him as well. Regarding Christmas, unless your family accepts you, I wouldn't go. It will be hard for you and confusing for your son. I admire you for wanting to sacrifice so much for your son. This is only my point of view and may not be what is best at all. I wish you the best of luck. Smile Smilie
I need some impartial advice so please feel free to give me your comments. My sister and brother in law are in the middle of a divorce at the moment and he keeps hurrling abuse at her and threating her. He has never done this infront of me before until tonight. I just calmly told him that there was no need to be abusive towards her, the thing is hes on medication for his temper and he doesn't know he's doing it half the time. After I told him to calm down he pushed my sister which got me riled up then he punched me in the face, then people jumped inbetween us and the police were rang, so he ran off. Now I'm in two minds as in if to inform the police and press charges as it will probable be put down as a domestic incident and he will be let of and he will do it again when maybe my sister will be hurt. The other option open to me is to go to his house and to give him a good hidding and put him on the recieving end of his own bullying. I am not a violent man but this is really looking like the only option before he really hurts my sister.
If you have any opinions on this please please please share them with me!
If your brother-in-law is on medication for temper, perhaps you should contact his doctor and to tell him what happened?
And what about other members of your family? Are you all alone with your sister to face this problem?
Can't you seek by Altavista or any other device the addresses of online sites which could provide you advice how to act in this situation?
At your place I would not go to beat him in his own house. Rather I'd make sure that my sister is never left alone to deal with him without any assistance of someone able to protect her.
I do not know whether this helps, good luck Ross!
Ross: I agree with Eryan here. If you still need to give him an earful, use the phone. For your sake DO NOT GO TO HIS HOUSE as a fight may develop and then you would be in the wrong. You must only use your fists in the direct defense of your sister while she is present else you can be had up on charges too.

Of course that is just my humble opinion with which and a dollar you might be able to buy a cup of coffee.
I agree with Grondy...definitely don't do the vigilante thing. I'll most likely only get you in more trouble. Also, if they're in the middle of divorce proceedings, and someone close to your sister beats up on her husband, that could make things even stickier in court. Keep an eye out for your sis, be there to protect her, but don't do anything that could get either of you in trouble...

I have a silly little thing that I'm bitter about today: I started my laundry at 11:30 this morning, and it is still not done. The stupid clothes were in the dryer for 3 whole hours, and they still came out sopping wet. Now I've got wet clothes draped all around my dorm room, and I spent my pizza money on the extra hours for the dryer. Stupid laundry.

[Edited on 12/15/2002 by chikakat]
  << [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] >>