Thread: The brooding club
<<            
I've nothing to gripe about at the moment. Although I lost my Dad in February and one of my uncles 2 weeks ago (the fourth younger brother that my mother has lost, and none reached retirement age), personally life is going well for me. Work is still fun, if a little too busy, and my family are well. I think spring helps - seeing the trees coming into bloom and the birds singing. It's nice after winter.
My particular bit of whining at this time is on behalf of my two children. My daughter who was just married this summer will be moving back to live in my basement because her husband lot his job. The job front does seem pretty dire. My son, who just turned 30, wants to get married and bring his fiancee to live here with him but his pay rate has been cut by 25% so he now needs a better job as well. >sigh<
Spring (now summer) does help keep the spirits up. We've had a remarkably wet spring and everything is green, green, green. Not how it usually is on the high plains this time of year.
As for me i dont like to complain and waste others' times but as you can always skip this it does not matter.
Well its my parents and i love them very much.My parents are going through the excruciating process of a divorce and i keep shuttling between places trying to spend a weekend with mum or an off day with dad.My father is a busy man and he does not have time for anybody.Ever since i can remember my dad scared me.With his moods,his harsh words,his complete lack of sympathy.He used to beat me and say cruel things at the drop of a hat.I was expected to excel in everything..studies,music,art.And i did my best..always.My mum tried to shield me as much as she could but then it became too much for her too.She decided it was over.Now i live on and off with my parents and i now realize that i dont mean anything to them.They dont miss me and they dont care if i visit them or not.well love is strange and even though they dont care i will always love them.i just need love so much and yet i cant make my own family love me.
I myself am 35 now and have my own family, I was extremely worried that I would carry that old family life over to my new family but nope, my kids get lots of love and kisses from me (my Father never showed me love of any kind) and even though I get grumpy with them from time to time, it's not something that gets out of control like it did when I was a kid.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you'll have a family of your own one day and then you'll be able to give and receive the love you're not receiving now, I hope this helps, though I know it can be very hard to stay positive and not let it get to you, but things will get better in time.
Take it slow and easy Rho. And perhaps you are wrong about at least your mother. Trauma does terrible things to people and at times they might seem wrapped up their world but in truth it is a fact that they are damaged and need time to get well in their emotions and mind and find themselves again. You said mummy tried to shield you as much as possible, now that that is over she might have just collapsed in on herself like an implosion but you would not know of it. I cannot think she would bother to shield you and then now not care. She sounds burned out and broken and rather lost.. Just remember the good she did for you and reach out to her and wait and see. And you sound very loving, it will be alright. Only never rush into a relationship, that is my opinion, it yields very little in happiness it seems to me.
Val I am so sorry about your father and Sian, you are strong and capable and inventive,. It will be okay.