That this life was not for me

And so I left it, let death consume me,

And finally felt eternal peace

Dear Lady, you always keep your style. For the sentences I have copied above, I DO REALLY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING.  These days have been hard but the sun raises everyday and we can stand up every time we fall. Courage!

Go on writing as it helps you to take out all those feelings you probably don't say face to face to anyone. It's a good way to put them on the paper and share them.

Take care.

Elbereth i feel for you, know that you have us as friends here for you!

It has been two weeks or so, or maybe a bit more, and I thought I'd log in to share some information with all of you guys.

First of all, it has been quite nice to be off once in a while, but I already miss this place.

@ Lady Alyss: I am enjoying of your wordy offerings, and as usually, I'm singing to the rhythm of your words. I hope you'll always keep writing the way you do. Keep it going, my friend!

As the sun rises up to the skies, it sends a wave of sunlight to purify all of the shadows surrounding us..

Golden is it's powerful light.. Full of spirit, magic and trust.

@ Elbereth: Concerning my vocal videos, I haven't done much lately, but I've recorded a few of them, it all just needs some editing and maybe even re-recording in some ways.

There will be videos sooner or later though. As usually, they should be found from my youtube channel (Oerath01).

As for recent works and stuff: These two weeks have went very well, but I haven't been writing that much. It was a part of my overall plan to do so, but I've three news: Tonight, I will start to translate some of my grandfather's poems, I will do a 10-15 numbered collection with a few poems from myself too, written in finnish.

I will also record my first story-telling video today. It's supposed to feature some work of mine, spoken in my low voice. It will be awesome.

Also, I've been writing a kind of poetic tale alongside with some darker, short stuff. It's called:

'A Lightless Dream That Became Real (Shadows of Andareth)'

Some of my new lyrical stuff include: 'The Hounds of Darkness', 'A Dead Man's Ring' and 'Rise of Cthulhu'

Those three are possible working titles for future songs.

That should be all for now. Catch ya in a week or two.

- Oerath.

Tadaa! Hullo!

I am not sure is it yet my time to come back, but here I am.

I just wrote my english version of one of my grandfather's poems. He used many old finnish words in his works, which makes it harder to do 'translates', so I had to add bits of my own to this one too. It still stays true to the original version.

He surely had some imagination. Anyway, I'll be here for this evening, but it's soon midsummer, so I'll come officially back due to 25th of this month. With new ideas and new things. Cheers, and have a lovely and (drunky) Midsummer!

Winter Evening

Here, I just sit my time.. all alone, it’s a shady winter evening
Moon is my only company and the silver bridge it just created
Those thousand stars that shine in the sky, are they smiling at me?
No.. I don’t think they can even see me, nor acknowledge my existence
Maybe they share their joy and laughter only with others..

Deep is the peace of this winter night
It is so quiet.. there’s just darkness and silence everywhere
A worn and weary man returns from the woods, he has worked ‘till the fall of sun and daylight
And now he would wish to rest and remain silent..

‘The white nature glows like the shimmering light of a silvery pearl’

It’s light aids the ice, it has a power to solder all shores and cliffs together
It’s light tells about the fair winds and about the peace of future
And may that bright and white light shine forever
I believe in it's might, it's so much more than any vision or illusion

Written by: Otto ‘Oerath Windsoul’ Timonen (Re-write/translate - Original language: finnish)

Hello all!

First of all, thank you Lady and Leelee for your friendly words. It's fantastic to see that you can someone else's shoulder to hold when you feel a little bit sad. I am fine but full of doubts. I tell you my current days in brief, next month I will quit my job and after the summer holidays in NZ I will move to Germany. I think I can find a good job there easily. On the other side, I will miss my family and feel soooo lonely that I fear this change as much as I wish it! I need it for many reasons indeed. Too long to explain it here openly!

Regarding to the lastest posts here. A friendly caring poem you have written this time Lady. Congratulations again! And Oerath, I knew your talent came from your roots. It's so beautiful that you translate your grandfather's work! It's a tribute you do to him. Clean the dust from those old papers and show them to daylight! Moving.

Thanks to both of you for your much welcome words.

And Fahvier, hey. It's good to see you around. Good stuff you've got there.

By the way, folks. I cannot talk openly about this stuff, due to the site rules, but I've decided to continue my learning and study considering Norse Mythology and it's wondrous and many tales.

So, in future, I'll write much Norse related/inspired tales. For long, I've been interested in Norse beliefs both religiously and professionally, and I think that this decision is a right one to do.

Next work in line will be: A dream that became real, and I'm going to post it along with a recorded vocal version of it. So, I've got some work to do. Then there's 'The Queen of White Sorrow and Frozen Tears', which will most likely become more like a story.

I'll post something after this Midsummer is done. See ya and happy little boozing!

- O.W.

Hi everyone!

Fahvier, I have read your poem and it made me stop for a while and get inside it. You know what I mean? I could close my eyes and see all that you wrote. Beautiful. Did you say that you wrote it months ago? Keep on writing as you do it so full of descriptions that we can live inside the poems.

Oerath, I wish you the best for the project of joining a band. I think you will feel "complete" there as you can put music to all you write and share different points of vision and inspiration with your band mates. Keep us informed!

Nice weekend to all!

This may not come as a surprise, but I've decided to put nearly all of my current and past story projects on hold, except 'The Secret of Three Graves' and some stuff that I've been writing for Rachel's (Leelee) story thread.

So, in other words, due to support from some of my friends, I've decided that I've done so much for The Arcadian Tales that I cannot let it go.

I must continue it. So, for now, I'll strive to focus on these few poetic works that I've on-going and try to write a newly structured story-line for Arcadian.

I'll let all of my Arcadian related works be, but I'll delete those posts I made long ago.

Here's something short and heroic.

They're the heroes hailing from the northern and legendary lands

They hold the lost powers of the flame of eternity in their hands

And with it's evershining and powerful light

They'll cast the creatures of darkness through the dark doors of night

And on the back of a great dragon they'll depart from this world

But they promised to us that when the time is right, they all shall return!

Caeth Velathrim Oe' Aquathas, For The World of Arcadian!

This is a little bit different from what I originally intended to write, but it's still a good piece of work.

Child of the Woods

Sunless paths and dark landscapes, now lay in front of me
I wonder how long I've stood here, for one second or for an eternity
And as I look around me, I suddenly realize that I don't even recall this forest's name
Is my arrival a mere coincidence, or a part of some unknown fate..

Looking confused.. I turned around, took three steps and walked towards a beautiful grove
But then a single leaf fell down from the sky, and as I took it to palm of my right hand
Strange images and visions started to appear into my mind
Images and visions that I couldn’t even understand

But then one image got stuck into my mind
And then I remembered why I came here, when I saw a very familiar light
Suddenly I remembered everything, every reason and every answer
All secrets of creation, hidden truths and forgotten legends

So, here I stand, watching the sky and it’s beautiful colors
All of my memories have been restored, my soul is no longer empty and hollow
And this darkness feels very unnatural, but as long as I keep staring at the silvery moon
I feel at home, and deep inside my heart I know that I’m a child of the woods

In the end, my arrival wasn’t a coincidence or a part of my destiny
But why I didn't remember anything when I came here, how I even lost my memory
Maybe this forest has it’s own secrets, but somehow I still know..
That this forest is a peaceful place, and this forest is my home

Written by: Otto 'Oerath Windsoul' Timonen

A Lightless Dream That Became Real (Shadows are closing in)

‘This castle.. So many.. Memories.. Shadows are.. Close.. They’re never far.. Real.. Too real for this life.. Or what if.. It’s all been an illusion..

What if our whole existence.. Is just a lie.. A mere myth.. Consider it as a fact, my child.. In time.. You'll know.. One day.. You'll understand..'

Those were the last words of Aldareth’s father. He disappeared nearly a decade ago, and those are the words she won’t ever forget.

Aldareth was sleeping peacefully in her room. She had sent one of her servants away hours ago, and then she suddenly awoke. She thought she'd heard something, and so she decided to open the door and go to find out what it was. She walked down the stairs to the entrance hall, then to the dining room and all the way to living room and her father's former studying and research chambers, but she didn't find anything or hear anything. It was all so silent. Feeling relieved, she went back to her room and decided to go back to sleep.

But then.. A few hours later.. She awoke.. Again, and this time, she knew that something was going on.. And this time, she took her lantern.. Lighted it up and walked out of her room.. Into the darkness..

Part I : And so she awakes..

(First two verses tell about her awakening)

‘Clock is ticking.. The midnight approaches..
She awakes, shivering.. All light just vanishes..
Her room’s fireplace is cold.. It should still burn..
And even though she’s sixteen years old..
She is afraid to walk amongst the shadows without a lantern..’

Something awoke her from that wonderful and pleasant dream
At first, she looked around confusely, but then she arose to her feet
Even the moon whispered to her. ‘Rest, my child. Go back to sleep.’
But she didn’t care to listen to her.. She wanted to be careless and free..

And as she walked out of her warm and cozy room
She found herself to be surrounded by darkness
The atmosphere was very uneasy and gloomy
And then wind slammed the door shut behind her..

Wearing a white and silky dress..
Holding a lantern in her right hand..
There isn’t much oil left..
If it runs out, will she be able to see anything, or ease her breath..

There she just stood in the cold embrace of darkness
An angel, lost in the night..
Shadows kept dancing around her.. Silently and soundless
Is she everything that is left of true light..

And as she kept walking across that dark corridor
She kept wondering what in the world was going on
Even mirrors and paintings seemed to stare back at her
Tears kept dropping from her eyes, she had never been so scared

And then she heard a ghostly scream, coming from below.. From the entrance hall..

And as she descended down the stairs.. She kept telling herself that she was all alone..

That there was no scream at all..

Written by: Otto 'Oerath Windsoul' Timonen

That's as far as I've wrote it, so, to be continued..

Edit: I had no time to write a sequel yesterday. So, we shall see about that.

Just magnificent Oerath. Here I just lay in the embrace of snow, facing the starlit sky.  That sentence is so wonderful. And I loved the feeling of his being assured that the snow would come on time. There is something so upsetting, in my opinion when the rain or the snow does not come when it should. It makes me feel fretful, worried, anxious, I cannot say why. And then that perfect moment when it comes , peace covers you like a comforting blanket, life surges through the body and joy to the heart. wonderful 

Hey! How nice to read new stuff here! I always love reading this thread because it makes me know you better. It's very beautiful!

As I can see Oerath you never stop working. Well, well, I wait for those videos then.... And Leelee, I would love to read some of your epic poems... What about our youngest poet, Lady?

About me, I have visited PT for brief whiles those latest weeks and even if I have written few these days; I would like to share it with you:

I long for a star to carry me home

to hold it close and with trust

running after the voice I once owned

no words left inside my chest.

Where are all those memories of a cheerful past?

still alive or buried by darker days of today?

I go miles away from here and everything

my feet begin to move leaving the soil behind

no roots in my suitcase but in my head

all those faces smiling to me, crying for me

it's life, departure means to say goodbye

though often it becomes "see you soon".

To escape from my fears for achieving a dream?

to hide from myself for daydreaming again?

where is the line that defines desire or insanity?

aren't they both relatives sharing a fire?

let my heart guide the steps I draw.

I see only tears in my eyes

time leaks down my skin relieving the bitterness

caused by never-ending doubts, menacing

taking control of my existence, silent invaders

devouring my dawns and at dusk too

until the sun sinks for good.

x-x-x-x

I am sorry if it sounds a bit sad but my mood is not very cheerful lately. I try to see the positive side of things but there are weak moments where the load is heavier than me. Anyway, when someone is at the bottom, the only way from there is always climb high! Let me take breath and I will show my smile again!

Thank you all for being there!

Oh Elberth, my heart cries for you. Every word was alive with deep emotion and the visual was so perfect. i am grieved you are going through such a testing time. I will remember to light a candle for you this night and may you have days of sublime peace and joy in the future. Thank you for your courage in sharing.

May you find the voice you once owned and may it be even better for the suffering you have endured.

Well, here's something for you, Elbereth. I'm bloody tired, but at this point of night, it would be a poor excuse to use that one. I love to stay awake, when others are not.

PS. This will be something so, so very, very different. I dare to promise that much.

Nothing, but darkness below.. A colorless sky above..

'Arran.. I know that mountain. I've been there. I jumped down from the edge. Why? None knows.'

His friends were standing behind him.. Shouting and crying..

But there he just stood, at the mountain's edge.. Looking down at the lightless ravine..

And they say that none has ever looked down from that high.. Without throwing his life..

Away.. But he was ready to say farewell to the world and to all of those, whom he loved and cared..

For.. At that moment, he saw the rising dawn..

Nothing, but darkness below.. A colorless sky above..

Did he want to fly and never ever fall down..

No, maybe he wanted the sky, and just one night, and it could be his own..

But as he took that one and last step.. He saw something he wouldn't have expected..

An eagle soared down from the skies.. It desired to become a god in his eyes..

But he didn't wish to be saved.. So he looked at the eagle, and told it to forget everything about salvation and grace..

And then it took flight.. And he started to smile.. While falling down.. Facing that same colorless sky above.. With no chance to lose or win.. No debts, no worries, no sins.. A clean and painless death.. In the hands of soil and earth.. But as his weak body hit the ground.. That fall didn't hurt, it didn't even break his bones.. He looked up at the eagle with doubt.. Could it be magic that saved him from this tragic fall that he wanted to make after all to take his own life tonight.. To leave it all behind..

'And then I started to climb up. I didn't die. Why? I wanted to leave this world. Am I not ready?'

His friends were waiting there for him, when he finally made the climb..

But instead of feeling joyful, he looked bitterly into the sky..

There that eagle kept flying in circles, crying to him that he should wait..

Life is a wonderful gift.. And death's chariots can arrive some other day..

And he couldn't even understand, how it had saved him..

But he still thanked the bird, and looked down at that same dark and lightless ravine..

'I threw myself down without any doubts, but instead of being dead, I'm here, looking down below. Did that ever happen, was it all just a dream? If I decide to fall again, will it be another false jump, or will it be deadly and real? I dare not to think any further, or I will make that jump.. It could seal my fate forever.'

'By leaving the snowy top of Mountain Arran behind, the man looks above. It is as colorless as it was before, but more pale than ever. And the ravine may still look dark and bottomless, but so is his mind, and his thoughts are like wandering spirits. Restless and ever awake. Awaiting for it all to turn into reality. He would've desired to die, but his friends would've not. Was that eagle a god in form of an animal? Or was it death herself? None knows, none guesses. None believes, none confesses.'

'Life is a gift.. But from who? Another question without an answer.'

'In the end, I didn't die that day. Not physically. But, deep inside my heart I know that I truly died that day.. But why.. I'm still here?'

Written by: Otto 'Oerath Windsoul' Timonen

Oerath, thank you for the poem. It's a story that says more than the story itself. I like it very much and take it into account.! Hahaha. Even if fear exists I will try to climb the mountain -never will jump from there, I would be even unable to look down, I fear high places and the sea too-.

I'm terribly sorry if I have worried all of you. I am not bad but as my poem says, doubts are so paralyzing! I have made some decisions in my life that are for good purposes in my future.; the real matter is that I know not everyone agree with me and I suffer a lot because of it. The only idea of hurting someone by an action that I will do for me, for my life is horrible. Anyhow, life is to decide and with my sorrow and everyone else's tears on my back, I will begin the new path. Where? no idea! At the end of August I will have to choose the destination. The world is sooooo big!

Thank you all for being there. You are also part of my life.

Oh, Rukain I forgot. I began writing the kind of things you make notes and whether they are brief or simple, they say things from the heart and that's beautiful. You must put them here more often. The comparison between love being a river (flowing calm and sometimes has falls, finally the sea) and life being a tree (from the very deep roots growing high trying to touch the sky with the weakest branches..) Lovely!

Good to see you, Wen. That was something different, I'd say. And yeah, sudden inspiration is sudden inspiration for a good reason. I've had some of those too, but the truly best thing in writing and in being a writer, is that when you figure out some key elements and know your own style and methods more than well, you can pretty much write whenever you want.

But, hey, enough of chit-chat. It was a good one, and I hope to see more of those. Keep it up, Young Master!

PS. I'll be less active for some time, since I've been reading some books and preparing myself for longer writing sessions. It's my third or fourth novella idea, and this time, I feel confident that I am not going to leave it unfinished.

The whole idea is original as ever, meanwhile, I've two other stuff (sequels) and a collection of poems to work on. Busy, busy.

- O.W.

Not bad, Elbereth. You haven't been with us for that long, but you surely have introduced us a bit of yourself. And just like we all in this realm do, you too possess a style of your own. I appreciate and like of it.

I'm quite drunk (there's no denying it), but I couldn't go to sleep without giving some words to the world.

Edit (24.7) : Actually, I did just read it through, and oh my.. There's no need to say more.. It may feel strange towards the end, but I think I can say with great confidence that this is one of the best works I've wrote in a while.

Lady Silvermoon

She cries thousands of tears every night..

Her tears fall to the ground like stars, her tears are made of love and moonlight

So many times, I've tried to ease her burdens, but she tends to ignore my wise words

Do I've to be a true son of darkness to understand, what it feels like to be one of the lights of the world

From year to year, she sheds her tears.. She won't stop crying, she wants to live her own dream..

She has so much power and will, yet she remains so quiet and still.. She is afraid.. Of the shadows that roam freely these days..

Oh, I believe we all can see that there are so many wounds and scars in each of her stars

But it all makes me to wonder why others cannot see the real sky, and why I can look so high and so far

There's magic in the air, I can feel it's presence everywhere, even now, I feel it somehow..

There's something so strange about this place.. It's almost like a fairytale, it's not just another night of pure silence and unending rain

Could this be true.. Am I a true son of darkness after all?

Here I stand, watching through the mist and the clouds, and for once, it seems that she isn't crying at all..

Or maybe I'm just dreaming.. But there's always something about her that makes you to question why..

You'd stare endlessly at her earliest creations, at those little tears that never fell down from the sky..

I truly do hope that one day, she will stop crying..

But as long as she remains uncertain, I shall watch over her vast star garden of dreams..

I'm like a son to her, and she's like a mother to me..

Without her magical light, I would be truly be lost, just like any sailor could get lost at sea..

And she's the one who has a power to make all of the nights to feel so real and true..

I believe that this world would be lost forever, without her guidance, light and glues..

And I do not blame her for crying so much.. Since her tears can make all of the flowers of this world to blossom and bloom..

And I don't know, if there's something more to know about you..

But I feel that you should never stop crying..

'Cause it could be the end of everything..

Don't you think so too.. Oh, Lady Silvermoon..

Written by: Otto 'Oerath Windsoul' Timonen

Oh, a t-shirt.. (Gotta store that idea)

I'm glad you found it enjoyable. Oh geez, I had some editing to do, when I got up, online and managed to read it by myself.

One does not simply drink magic potions and write without doing lotsa mistakes!

I've been writing and posting quite a bunch of stuff lately. It feels great to be active and full of fresh ideas.

Pst, already working on the novella, officially.

- O.W.

This is a kind of poem that I have wrote. I don't write much and if I write I never post it let someone read it. I'm absolutely not good. And it's far from good.  And it's weird. But....

The real end?

It's night, everything is dark
So many questions but there is no one I can answer.
It's night, everything is silent.
Is this the silent before the storm?
Did they foreseen this long ago, did they knew the time?
I'm scared is this the end?
So many questions but there is no one I can answer.
It's night, I think about the world.
About the beauty and the grief.
Could this be the real end?
I'm scared, but am I sure this is the real end?
So many questions, is there no one I can answer?
I always learned that there will be a new day.
Can I be sure about that?
Or are the saying that because the are scared?
Don't they really trust the one?
The One who knows the real end?
Now I'm thinking,
Do I really trust The One?
Do I really believe this is not the end?
First I always trusted Him.
But now when the moment is here, I'm not sure.
There's a voice deep inside me.
It says that I still believe.
I don't know who he is.
But I think what he says is true.
I hear a voice inside my mind.
It says that I have to be strong, and never must lose hope.
It's The One I can here.
He still believes in me, so I will always believe Him.
Until the real end of the world and further.
Time has past, now I can see the sun.
It wasn't the real end.
The One will always be there for me, for help and hope.
My whole life I was waiting until this moment.
Until I would be sure he trusts me.

Yes I know it's weird. I'm not good at English. And It's really nothing if you look to all the great poems on this thread. Don't think too bad of it.......

Oh, Elbereth. You're so very kind. It means so much to me that you like it. Really, I'm very glad you like it. It makes me smile to read that someone likes what I have wrote. I absolutely wasn't sure about my poem. (Often I'm not sure about what I write and what I post. I haven't much self-confidence)

Thank you very much

Dearest, you are so kind. It means so much to me that you think it's a good poem. Yes, I will tell Wim to keep writing. How much it means to me that you also think about him. Love.

Hullo, folks. It's been a while, a week or so, and hmm. Gotta do some replies..

First of all, it's nice to see that even you decided to write and post something, Lady Arwen. I liked of it.

And oh, don't worry about your use of english. It's easy to do mistakes whilst writing. I believe many of us do. Even I have some editing from time to time, just because I wrote while drinking, or I was just too tired to notice my own simple mistakes.

Either way. Well done, young one!

And hullo, Elbereth and Rachel.

I'll post something new in the days to come.

You're welcome, Lady Arwen. By the way, this whole talk about Oerath t-shirt is getting so odd that I will do it!

I may know someone or some people, who do/create t-shirts. I guess it wouldn't cost much to get one done.

It would definitely be a proud thing to do.

I've already a good idea: 'Oerath Windsoul' with my choose of letters/style to front of the shirt, and to the backside: O.W. + one of my personal favorite quotes/poetry parts of mine: 'There's nothing to be seen and nothing to be heard. Winds are so silent, and so is this blessed earth.'

- O.W.

Oerath, if you have that t shirt, please send me a picture of it. I must see

I will post my newest work tonight. I meant to post it last night as a mere poem, but of course, I had to turn it into a poetic tale..

Bad habit.

It goes by this name: 'Eyes of the Bloodred Mist (Instruments of Fire and Chaos)'

- O.W.