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Thread: How random can you be?

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Why do Doctors write so bad
As many times as the person spinning it wants to.

Because those who write well usually become writers.

Why do we have so much technology?
So that people can ask questions about it.

Why do people ask so many questions?
Because there are people that have all the answers.

Where are you?

i dunno i took a wrong turning back there!

Whats ur IQ
127, or something like that. Took one of those dumb tests online a couple of years ago.

What is yours?

Between that of a flea and a fly.

Why does "how" not begin with "wh" like the others?
"The others" does not begin with "wh"

Do you believe that there was an Atlantis?

I used to. But then my idea sunk.

Who invented sarcasm?
Someone who couldn't say a nice thing about anyone/anything

Why isn't an act of God covered under your insurance
Because they were told to 'GO TO HELL!' so now thats all they wanna do.

How many people does it take to switch a lightbulb?
Only one to switch it on or off; though it may take three of four to replace a burned out lightbulb with a new one, depending on the IQ of the storyteller and the gullibility of the listener.

What did the rutabaga say to the broccoli?
Hello! How do you do?

Where does the expression "it's raining cats and dogs" come from?
From the old "dog-gone" days.

Why are proverbs and idioms so strange?
Because strange people made them up ?

Why does chocolate taste soooo goood (or is it only good to females !!!)
Because it triggers the production of the same hormones in our body which are secreted when we are in love.

Why am I so knowledgable suddenly?
Because you've done your exams (for the moment) you are now relaxed and on a break!

Why does the sound of running water make you want to go to the loo
Because it reminds me I never returned to rattle the chain to reseat the flapper valve to stop the flow from the last time I flushed. I really ought to take the cover off the tank and adjust the ball float so that I don't have this noise interrupting my concentration.

Where was Moses when the lights went out?
Busy whacking rocks with his staff.

Why do post-it-notes always run out of stick in about 15 mins?
They have an in-built timer to do so. If you listen closely, you can hear it ticking.

There are two clocks in this room, and they're not ticking simultaneously. Why does this annoy me?
Because you can hear one tick and then have to listen for the other. I bet you can't ignore them.hehehe Exploding Head Smilie

Why does time go quicker when you're having fun
because it's evil...... Very Evil Smilie

why nowadays almost all have a mobile phone?
because everyone hopped on the bandwagon.

why is being random so fun?
Because you don't have to think.

What's so fun about playing board games, even if you lose?
Cause you control the pieces life and are a dictator which you cannot be in real life.

Why do most people have something against male actors?
I don't know...I haven't anything against male actors....

what have you cooked for dinner?
Nothing. I leave my mom to do the cooking.

Why do some people have so grand a fascination towards flight?
because we haven't wings to fly as birds...

what is one of your bigger dreams?
That I would realise all my dreams.

Why do some people smoke so much?
because they are nervous..

how many books have you read in your life?
Probably a few thousand. In my living room, can see at least five hundred that I've read, some of them more than once, and that doesn't count any trips to the library where I brought home stacks of four or five books weekly. But then, I have had a head start on most of you, and I'm sure you'll catch up with time.

Can you spit between your teeth, or are you a lady?
Wrong on both counts, Grondy! But if you want, I can practice spitting between my teeth.

Why would someone want to spit from between their teeth?
So that the saliva would spit out fine, nasty, puke making, and perfectly digusting!

As I observed our human behaviour, I heard the secretary bribing the class president. "You're pretty" complimented the secretary. "No way! I'm ugly!" replied the our class president. She obviously loved the compliment but pretended to be annoyed so that the secretary could keep on complimenting her. Why are people like that?
Well, they are just pretending to be humble I suppose. What would people be saying if she said, "I know"?

How does George Lucas turn great actors/actresses into bad ones?
He doesn't, he gives little known ones a chance to become greater ones, or not. The only actor known as 'great' before he was used in the Star Wars Epic, was already over-the-hill and wasn't receiving many, if any film offers. Only one actor became great after appearing in Star Wars and he was known to have been too tempermental in his earlier years. Oh, and of Lucas's early movie little known actors, one did later star in a long running TV series and he became a quite good movie director. If you need the names of these three ask.

Why does rain bounce when it hits pavement?
Due to the Newton's third law of motion which states that "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction." Therefore, the action of the raindrop hitting the surface of the pavement cases an equal reaction of the pavement hitting the raindrop. Bt since the pavement is stationary and cannot be displaced from its position by a low force as provided by the raindrop, the ricochet force thus acts on the raindrop making it bounce backward so as to cancel the total momentum of the pavement and the raindrop before and after the collision so as to comply with the "Conservation of Energy" theorem. And hence, the raindrop bounces after hitting the pavement. Teacher Smilie Orc Going Huh Smilie

Why would the meek rule the world?
Because someone would have to organize things after all the aggressive people have killed themselves in the final war.

Why do the keypads at drive up ATM's (cash machines) have Braille?
To allow us to release our frustration through acupressure techniques.

Why are pandas found only in Asia?
They're not. Haven't you been to the zoo? Smile Smilie

Why do our fingernails never stop growing?
Because... they are made of keratin and they just don't. Just the way things are.

Why do new clothes have those plastic things that you can't get off without teeth or scissors?
Well, if you have strong fingers, you can just pluck them off the cloth. And they are there to indicate whether the cloth is new or not.

Why did Newton figure out the law of gravity when the apple fell on his head instead of just eating it.
Because he had just eaten a seven course meal and had sat down under the apple tree for a little snooze?

Why does a paper cut hurt more than a sharp knife slash?
Because our skin gets offended when it gets cut by a minor thing like paper instead of a sharp knife blade.

Why is it that although people want to conserve petrol, they but newer and more cars which increases the consumption of petrol?
I think it's a status symbol!

Why is wine called wine when it makes you sing
Because the word wine is derived from vine which is where grapes are grown which are used to make wines which as you can see have nothing to do with singing with which I can pose my next question which is:

What if the all the balls were square instead of spheres?
There would be a whole lot less rolling going on and a bit more thumpity-thumplty-thump.

If bells were whistles and whistles were pigs, what would happen?
The bells would go "Oink!Oink!"?

What is the best way to scare someone?
Booooooooooo (or like my mum did one day walking in the street passing some men digging a hole, as she went past she shouted BANG......thankfully they saw the funny side)

Why do people ask sooo many questions
It all harkens back to "Original Sin" and the search for knowledge. Why? Why? Why? Eat the apple and you will have knowledge! (Or maybe that was just a way for the serpent to shut Eve up) Smile Smilie haha

Why are cops associated with donut shops?
Because the back doors of all prisons open up in a donut shop.

What if Earth had 12 moons?
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