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Thread: How random can you be?

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Because they were so Glorious. Toot! Toot!

Can you walk on water?

Yes. I can even run on water. Yesterday itself I did that. We were playing in the rain and the field was waterlogged but even then we continued playing and ran about on the water. On my way home I walked on the water which was on the road.

Why did the Egyptian boy say goodbye mummy when his father was buried?
Because he was saying good-by to his embalmbed father at his burial.

How many pins can dance on the head of an angel?
42 ( I know; original.)

Can a trombone dance on its master's hand-puppet?
No, but it can shake the heck out of it, especially if the puppet is hung on an elastic band from the trombone's spit valve and then played a rousing tune.

Which way is up?
Up is the way you go when you die. PS it depends on how you lived your life.

How do you use a satellite phone?
I don't, but if I did and they had them back then, I'd loan it to ET.

Why is the moon's North Pole always pictured at the bottom of the page?
This happens because the guy who was printing the atlas was unsure of himself at that time as he didn't have his compass with himself and according to him anywhere would do as the world is round.

Why was Caesar murdered by his best friend Brutus?
Follow the money.

Actually the moon's north pole is shown on the bottom of its maps, because many telescopes invert the moon's image because they use a mirror to help obtain that image.

Did you know my real name is now actually on Mars? - It's true.
I didn't know! How did that happen? A star was named after my daughter Smile Smilie

Where was Sam MaGee cremated?
In the Bonfire of the Vanities?

Where in San Diego is Waldo or Carmon in Santiago de Compostela?

My name along with 250 thousand others is on a silica glass mini-DVD attached to 'Phoenix' which successfully landed in the northern arctic plains of Mars on 25 May 2008. The DVD was provided by The Planetary Society, to which I have belonged for over 25 years, and it also contains a compilation of messages to future Martian explorers, science fiction stories, and art inspired by the Red Planet. The DVD is mounted on the deck of the lander, which sits about one meter above the Martian surface. - This info came from page 4 of September/October 2008 issue of 'The Planetary Report', Volume XXVIII, Number 5.

Of course by the time any explorers get there they will no longer be using a mini-DVD player, technology having made such archaic devices obsolete. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
The answer is very simple. Even a local map could tell you that. So please consult it before asking me.

Would you like to be mummified one day?
Naw, I ain't pretty enough. Wiggle Smilie

How many steps from here to the top?
More than it takes to reach the bottom, but, seeing as you're already on the same floor as the bathroom, I would recommend remaining stationary.

What is that orb with the shiny logo on its neck?
I don't know, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

While running, what is the minimum number of hoofs a horse must have on the ground at any instant?
None of his hoofs must be on the ground if he really wants to win as the impact of the hoofs on the ground causes friction which will reduce his top speed.

How much did Enzo pay for his Ferrari?
Me thinks he inherited it.

If you trim 1/8 inch from the bottom of the longest leg of a rocking three-legged stool and it still rocks, which leg should you next trim, and by how much?
Yay! I love resurrecting threads.

Chop it all off. On second thoughts, cut it all up for firewood. There's nothing that irks me more than a rocking chair, especially if it's only slight.

Whose cruel idea was it to have the word 'lisp' with an 's' in it?
Happy Birthday doesn't have the same tune as the alphabet song...

What is the best 80s car?
In other words; Quattro or Ford Galaxy?
Oops, sorry, I must have changed the question while you were answering (when I realised that they weren't the same).
Quattro or Ford Galaxy? I don't know; I bought a new 1980 Mazda sedan, but was never able to drive it; my drivers license ran dry that year. Orc Sad Smilie

Where is Waldo; is Carman Sandiego accompanying him?
Who's Waldo? But I have found Wally in every page of the 'Wheres Wally' Book I got a few years back.

Who are you and why did you kill the Okey-Kokey?
The Okey-Kokey deserved it. My identity shall always remain a secret. Very Evil Smilie

If Pinocchio said, ’My nose is about to grow’, what would happen?
Because it can't see the future, 'My nose is about to grow' is a lie. So it would grow.

Why did YOU kill the Conga?
What! Who me?

Who has a purple monkey dishwasher?
Nor even a passionate pink bus-boy.

Can you get there from here?
I might if I had the energy to try.

Why are the meteorologists always wrong?

Because the cosmologists are always right.

If Johnny picks two blackberries from the bush, eating one and saving one for later, how many caterpillars will be in the field?
The same amount as there was before he picked 2 Blackberries.

Who wants to be a Millionaire?
Everyone except for the billionaires.

What is the meaning of life, the universe and everything?
Tributary to the Glory and Power of the One.

Nestled in the valley of Everlasting Life is?
Me. And the answer was 42, not what you just said Elf Sticking Tounge Out Smilie

Are you a Rubiks Cube?
Yes, and I can never seem to solve myself.

You are the Weakest Link. Goodbye.
Orc Sad Smilie

You have got through to the final question on 'The Million Pound Drop', with ’1,000,000. You get it wrong. How do you react?
Well going postal doesn't fit my temperament; so I would just say the following while smiling, "They say the first million is always the hardest to come by. And I just proved them right."
Yes, I've just had two cups of tea.

If one is a what's-it and the other is a who's-it, where is it?
Over there on the top shelf.

'I see,' said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw. What did he see?
Just like the bear who went over the mountain, he saw the other side of the mountain.

Wouldn't you like a wooden shoe or two?
I would, as then I would have supported The Netherlands in the World Cup Final in true fashion. Such a shame they didn't win, I have been supporting them along with England, until they were knocked-out. Elf Sticking Tounge Out Smilie

One-Two, Buckle that Wooden Shoe, or two, too?
...Twhee, twhoo, who are you? Are you a ewe or a...
Grondy forget to post a post for me to randomize!!!

Do you forgot things often?
What was it you asked?

Mowing the lawn: A task or a great enlightenment?

To all the little creatures who weren't didturbed by being mowed over.

When will we get there?

We will never get there.


What does the universe taste like?  

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