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Thread: How random can you be?

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Because that's crumb time at Maydmarrion's home and they can't expect any tid-bits if the are distracted by snarling claws.

Is it time yet? = famous after lunch-pre-swimming mantra.
for breakfast? Yes.

Why did my dog eat my sock?
Your dog llikes the smell of Limburger cheese?

How in heaven's name can cows fly? see....cows have 2 tummy's so can you imagine if the cow gets a bit bunged up and does not let gas the cow will then float...... Big Laugh Smilie

Why does your nose run when you eat a curry?
Probably for the same reason it runs when I eat Chinese mustard; it clears out the sinuses.

How many times can you spin around on your feet prior to falling down?
(You don't have to actually ascertain this by experiment, for I wouldn't want anyone to injure themselves, anyone else, or their surroundings towards obtaining data; just make an estimate.)
Personally, many hundreds of revolutions if I'm in my wheelchair; less than 5 degrees on my feet as my legs won't bear my weight.

How much will my daughter eat of her dinner after she has been snacking all afternoon?
Probably as much as I will after also snacking all afternoon Smile Smilie

Why are husband and son so addicted to WoW?
because that game steals your soul, seriously, its probably a myth but I heard that a kid in Japan played it for four days without eating/drinking and died

what makes some people (myself included) have curly hair?

Why can't water walk uphill without a strong wind behind its back?
it probably can, but its very shy and doesn't like to do it in front of people

where do lost helium balloons go?
They are gathered by the Great Dirigible of the Sky, refurbished, and sold to presidential nomination conventions as well as department store openings.

[b}But why can't I? All the other kids get to.
All of the other kids are degenerate heathens who will one day wake up and realize that actions have consequences and that they have spent most of their lives not even gratifying their own vain and selfish aspirations, but by going out of their way just to prevent others from experiencing joy or contentment. All of this occurs in the name of "fairness!" " If I don't get it, then he certainly doesn't deserve it either!"

Is there any reason, or, better yet, is a reason merely an excuse, and, therefore, not a reason at all?
For every cause there is a reason; though if that reason is merely an excuse, then it is not a reason, but a rational and the true reason has yet to be determined.

Will I know it when I see it?
Only if you're looking for it!!!!!

How is it I'm taking really strong pain killers for my back but they don't cure my headaches?
Because the pain in your back is caused by your physical condition, but your headache is probably the result of mental strain (stress) caused by your work.

How can we get there from here?
I don't think you can...!

Will we know where we're going when we get there?
Possibly not, but we will certainly know when we have gotten there.

Oh, Where have you been, Billy-boy, Billy-boy?
Oh, Where have you been Charming Billy?
Over the hill and far away..

How many roads can a man walk down?
Only two if they are parallel and stay very close together. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

When you come to a fork in the road, do you take it? Elf Winking Smilie Or do you continue on, looking for more cutlery? Elf Sticking Tounge Out Smilie
I'll take the fork.

Animal, vegetable or mineral?
Vegetable, they aren't so demanding to grow or prepare to eat.

When you sneeze, do you always have a tissue or hankie handy?
I try to!

When you last needed to catch your breath where had it gone?
I think it was chasing my tail.

Why do frogs croak?
They're mortal. (I hate myself for making that joke.)

What should I say?
"Please" usually works.

Why does honey draw more flies than vinegar?
Once one fly gets stuck in the sticky honey, it takes a lot more to help pull it out. They usually all end up getting stuck though.

Is this font bold enough?
Probably a little too bold, I think a little more humbility would make it a more lovable.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?
Probably because you don't have wings, but, in case you do, it's because of your bad attitude and low self-esteem. You only think you can't!

Which would you rather have annihilating the human race, Vogons or Buggers?
Just you let 'em try; we're not such easy marks unless they take all of us out in one swell foop*.

Besides which:

You all have your box of facial tissues or a large hankie handy don't you?

*Foop was the sound of the Earth imploding after it was hit by a Vogon deep penetrating anti-magma projectile. This was when it was successfully destroyed in one of our many parallel universes.
Indeed I do have a tissue handy. My great aunt just wrote me a letter about my grandmother (who passed away two years ago), and I had to run and get a box of tissue.

By the way, "Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction." (I have always loved that quote. I think it says a lot!)
Before they invented golf balls, how did they measure hailstones?
By how big the dent in your head is Orc Smiling Smilie

Let there be you,
Let there be me.
Let there be oysters
Under the sea...
Let there be cuckoos,
A lark and a dove,
But first of all, please --
Let there be ______
Glove. Wasn't that the theme song of the Biggest Blue Meanie in The Yellow Submarine, or not. Orc Grinning Smilie
Why is it " A puddle of blood" but when it's caused by rain and earth it's a " mud puddle" ?

Yaaaay! Leprosy is only responsible for five out of every six deaths caused by leprosy!
A mud puddle is a puddle of mud whose constituents are dirt (earthy parrticles) and rain (water).
A blood puddle is a puddle of blood whose constituents are cells and platelets (living particles and plasma (mostly water).

How deep can a diver go without an external breathing apparatus and still return safely to the surface?

There is a record of 170-190-ish meters without breathing apparatus (like an oxygen tank)... She did it twice but died on the return of her second attempt, so she did come back safely the first time... They use a sort of cement block to drag the diver down to the depths and using a bag of air they hold above them, take forced gulps and 'lung pack' by pushing the air in their mouth down their throat to the lungs using the tongue, therefore making a long return journey back with only a few gulps... They do spit up blood etc because of the pressure, but they return 'safely' Orc Smiling Smilie

Which Radio Station do you listen to most?
The one in my head, of course! It usually plays the best songs, minus the commercials...what a catalogue it has!

Is it wrong to put your shoes on before your pants?
Not if you can still, somehow, manage to get your pants on without tearing them.

How many quills does a hedgehog have to have before circumnavigating the solar system?
At least one, for he listened to his mother when she said, "Never under any circumstances, are you to leave the house bare-arsed-necked."

How many molecules in a cup of hot tea assuming the tea bag was removed after three minutes and it is green tea?
A lot....i guess. Ha Ha Ha Smilie

Did Johnny Apple Seed really ever plant a single apple tree?
No, but going by the name of John Chapman he planted quite a few.

John Cleese and Graham Chapman are best known for what?
Oh, I don't know... wait! Yes I do! They were original members of either Monty Python or Run D.M.C. I can never tell those apart.

This was quite some posts ago but

*Foop was the sound of the Earth imploding after it was hit by a Vogon deep penetrating anti-magma projectile. This was when it was successfully destroyed in one of our many parallel universes.

Isn't that a bit of spoiler? (I'm NOT going to say what it is a spoiler for because everyone should already know. I have set my social standards now, and, if you cannot meet them, be gone with you!)

If two pairs of socks entered into an intimate relationship, then would the four individual socks technically be a "couple?"
No, I think they would form a quadrille, or a square dance, unless of course their intimate relationship was with a sled-dog. Then they would be called booties..

Is it easier to blow a bubble in the shape of a cube or a pyramid?
A pyramid, because it is very difficult to form a square with your mouth.

Is that cucumber that I taste in the salad?
"That was no cucumber," said Peter the Pumpkin Eater, "that was my wife; what's yours?"
She's a strawberry.

Why would anyone ever make a phone call with an apple?
Because I can't hear anything with a banana in my ear.

If one train leaves the station at 7 am and travels north at 60 miles an hour; and a second train leaves the same station at 9 am also traveling north, how long will it take for Chelsea to again beat Man U.
It will take about as much as the rich-russian-tycoon can invest, yet this will not be enough. Dunce Smilie

Where did the Egyptian boy say when his father was buried?
In the mud? Under a pile of credit card debt?

Who was that lady I didn't see you with last night?
That could have been any lady.
Is this chair irradiated or should I go to a Dermatologist?
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