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Thread: How random can you be?

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Well gravity is actually NOT that strong, since it never kicks in until after you look down and see that you went off the cliff. This gives you plenty of time to hover there, poke your toe out the bottom of the dust cloud, then reach your hand down, find no ground beneath you, then get that "OH NO!" look on your face, hold up a sign that says "HERE WE GO...AGAIN!", and wave BYE-BYE, before finally falling. Elf Winking Smilie

Why don't they make cartoons as good as they used to?
Because they are designed by committee.

How fast can run/walk/stroll around the block after eating a full meal?
Oi! Anyone remember me?
You can run/walk/stroll around the block slightly slower than you could with an empty stomach due to the increase in weight. However, this speed can be increased if you are willing to run the risk of vomitting. There is also the exception of the stomach which has been empty for quite some time, which would create an inhibiting lack of energy.

At what temperature does human bone melt on contact with the heat?
Don't even want to think about it.

What is your favorite thing to do with people?
Well I'm here most everyday, so this must account for one of my most favorite people things.

When logging, should you wear logging boots or do tennie-runners provide ample protection from dropped logs?
Hmmm well that depends on whether we're talking about SQL logs, or IIS logs, or maybe Windows Installer logs. Then there's also the Event Log viewer. (Don't ever ask a programmer a question that includes the word "log", or else you're liable to get an answer just like that, LOL!)

Why do computer programmers have such a warped sense of humor?
They are just programmed that way I guess. (You know its four thirty in the morning...)

Why doesn't anyone put in a side comment to greet me after I haven't posted anything in about two years. IT's bad enough the people I know in the real world, offline, don't like me. Not that I'm playing a sympathy card or anything. SARCASM! ROAR!
SIDE COMMENT: Hello Ar-edain, nice to meet you.
There, is that better? Now quit yer belly-achin', LOL!!! Elf Sticking Tounge Out Smilie

Why do people procrastinate so much?
Because if one doesn't want to do something, he inevitably decides to do it the next day.

What would it had been like if Earth had a Saturn-like ring?
I'm not sure, but I think that in order to have a ring we would have to lose our moon, as its and our masses would preclude a ring from forming or remaining; though we probably had one right after the collision{?} that formed the Moon. Of course I could be wrong here, and to get a better answer I'd probably have to ask 'Ask Astro' over at 'Astronomy' magazine or

Again I've forgotten which thread I'm in, so I'll have to come back later to add whatever i'm supposed to be writing about.

Ah, its supposed to be about randomness.

What is randomness?

There, I'd say that was a good example of randomness. Elf Winking Smilie

Why is it that when people ask "what three things would you bring with you on a desert island?" no one ever replies, "A BOAT"?!
Side Comment: Thank you Meneldur, my belly feels much better. Nice meeting you as well.

No one ever replies with "a boat" because people would much rather be entertained than better off. (Evidence: Trailers with satellite dishes on top.) Let's face it, discussing the uses of a boat on a desert island isn't exactly overly amusing or novel. However, I do see your point, and you are correct. If the boat were flipped upside down it would make an excellent shelter until someone comes to rescue you.

If politicians were mini-vans, where would the stolen tax money be hidden?
In the place where you can store the seats for all the extra cargo storage!

Do I NEED any sugar?

Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.

Why can't I think of anything to build with my knife, fork, and spoon; where have all my creative juices gone?
It's in a bottle on the top shelf of the fridge, between the orange juices and apple juices. Wink Smilie

Why are peanuts so addictive, especially when I'm surfing the web?
Who knows?

Why are cats always in your face when your trying to read someone's post?
They're just annoying, insensitive creatures like that.

Is this the "Radio Clash?"
Not unless "Video killed the Radio Star"

And now I say that I have NO idea to what Ar-37 is referencing when he says "Radio Clash" but I thought of a song Orc Grinning Smilie

With your own body, and yourself alone, and NOT using just your fingers, how do you form the letter 'Q'?

I make a circle with my arms above my head and lean to the side, my body is the tail and my head is the bit inside the capital Q when viewed from the front or the back depending which way I'm leaning. Or I sit with my leg straight out and my heels touching the floor, and I lean forward and touch my knees with my hands. I'm a Q when viewed from my right side. Wiggle Smilie

Why is dirt red, black, or brown and Spring leaves green?
So the paint companies have a better variety of "nature stuff" to name their paint after. It wouldn't be very much fun if nature was all the same color.

Is there ANY information that you can't find on the internet these days?
Yes, but if I were to talk about it they might have to do you and me in, or lock us both up. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

How many balls of twine would it take to circle (on a great circle) the earth?

One, but it would have to be the size of Jobo's head.

Why am I a horrible keeper?

"Radio Clash" is a strange song by the legendary band The Clash
Because you don't have sticky fingers.

Where do we go from here?
To Norway, so that we may gaze upon the award-winning fjords

Grandma, can I go outside and play?
no you eat your boisenberry corn husk soup first! of them lil tart thinggys...maybe then you may play.

Does halmark make a card for amputees?
No, but they should.
We are so sorry about your recent loss...

Why "vagrant" instead of "hobo"?
yahoo stinks something awful thats why.

will you jump my car?
Not unless it is a Hot Wheels’ as my feet won't clear any full sized models.

How many needles are on a cedar tree? Elf Winking Smilie
Too many people have already replied with forty-two, so I will reply differently knowing that I will be incorrect. There are as many needles on a cedar tree as...wait... are cedar trees coniferous?...They are?...There are as many needles on a cedar tree as the distance across the galaxy's diameter in kilomiles. A measurement which I just made up. And, as it would turn out, the answer ends up being forty-two after all.

Can I have your uncancelled credit card?
I don't think so; at least you may not have it.

Which way is up?
Which ever way my head is pointing in opposition to my feet. At least, I think. which way are my feet pointing, hmmm, oh no, which way is up?!!!!!! aaahh jk

Are you as nutty as I am right now?
As far as I can tell I am perfectly sane at the moment, and it would be perfectly safe for a cannibal with a peanut allergy to eat my flesh at the moment to the farthest extent of my knowledge. It is also important to keep in mind that peanuts are not really nuts.

If I inflate my stomach full of helium, will I have to eat more to keep it from flying up out of my nostril?
No, but that may be dependent on which nostrile.

Can you walk on your hands without damaging your fingers with your shoe soles?
yup! I'm not going to do it now, though. lol

What do you do when you are bored?
I do remember you well, AR-37, and I'm glad you're back, incidentally. And I did notice you were gone, along with a host of others whose posts I really used to enjoy reading...

I try to clean and organize that which needs cleaning and organizing around my house when I am bored, which seldom ever happens. Having a husband and four kids will keep you busy enough, but add on a passionate love of music, reading and film, then it is really almost difficult to be bored at all. I think that makes me fortunate somehow, because I am never lacking for something to do.

Can there ever really be enough pillows on a bed?
Two is ample for me a soft one for my neck and head and a hard duck feather of under my knees or calves. Though after I had abdominal surgery a few years back, I also welcomed pillows in front and behind me when on my side.

How many light bulbs does it take to illuminate a dim-wit?
Thank you, Laurelindhe!

I fear enough light bulbs do not exist, have never existed, and will never exist. This is coming from somone who trips on his own shoe laces though.

Have you ever thought about growing a moustache so long that you can tie one end to a fire hydrant and the other to a car just to see which end tears?
not until just now my good friend who does so well with a trolla-dolly that it sperks me heartskins to think you grundle a frudelo.

if jack and Jill went up a mountain to fetch a holy grail in the underpants while yodeling why does Timmy smith go fishing in a puddle on the streets of London with a piece of gum and a rubber band?
Because it is there.

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
San Diego?

If three lefts make a right, then wouldn't three bowls of cereal equal one bowl of oatmeal?
Only on Thursdays in months with a "b" in their name, unless the tide is out or there is a "Blue" Moon.

Why is it so hard to stretch a paycheck from your bank account to the end of the month?
Because checks are made of paper, and that's not flexible material, and besides, only people who wear rubber gloves on Thursday the sevenths can stretch paper...

How can you get a woman's bangles to shut up?
cut her wrists off.

how long can you soak a cat in honey mustard befor it turns ripe?
A couple weeks unless its a full bodied soak, in which case it might be months.

Where can I go Lorax hunting; when are they in season?
in the golden glade of forneverfrost, and mid-way to winter from fall.

why have i not heard of a fat elf....
Because Elves are not naturally inclined to feasting and sleeping all day, as some mortals are. They like to exercise and I think that some smartypants Elf woman like Galadriel would've figured out something that could achieve the results of liposuction...

What happens when a girl like me dresses herself in grey for four days straight?
They blend into the Liverpool fog and disappear from the sight of mankind even after the sun comes out.

How often do ghosts have to wash their bedsheets?
Depends on how many scared people p_ _ p on them in fear.

Why is it such a nice feeling to scratch an itch
Because you can.

is there anything worse than an itch you can't reach?
I think.......toothache Jumping Flame Smilie

Why is that my 2 cats, who usually fight like cat and dog (ha ha) seem to call a truce at tea-time Super Wow Smilie
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