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Thread: How random can you be?

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Seldom if at all anymore, but I used to put coffee in my sugar and cream.

Where were you, the day before yesterday?
Choir concert. We preformed excerpts from Handel's Messiah. It went pretty well, except for when the sopranos missed a few cues and the pianist had us singing much higher than we normally do.

Why does my dog always howl when my dad plays his flute and not when I play mine?
Perhaps he has the rare talent of being able to play notes on a flute that are not audible to the human ear, or it might be that you play better than he thinks the latter.

Do you believe in creation or evolution?
How about a happy combination of both? A "day" to God doesn't really mean anything, so what may be creation to some, may be the slow process of evolution to others. How's that for dodging the bullet?! Wink Smilie

Why do we chop down perfectly living trees to put in our living rooms to slowly dry out and die at Christmas (a holiday that's supposed to celebrate birth)!? (The lights are pretty though Christmas Tree Smilie .)
You can always use a little more fire wood during winter.

What is the purpose of inflatable holiday characters?
To get punctured in the end.

Why don't the barking dogs bite frequently?
Because they are to busy barking.

Is it a good idea to brush your teeth with a stick of charcoal?

You mean it's not? Sad Smilie

What do you want for the Holidays?
Sheer joy and enjoyment!

When lightning strikes you, do you get roasted or fried? get energized! Haven't you seen Frankenstein?

Why do we still use gasoline in our cars?
Because creamed corn doesn't work as well.

Why did you eat the Christmas tree?

Because that red and green frosting sprinkled with the sugar crystals all applied on a tree shaped butter cookie (biscuit) looked absolutely delish. Christmas Tree Smilie

What is Santa, St. Nick, Kris Kringle, etc., Standing Up Santa Smilie going to put in your stocking, besides the occasional stick and lump of coal? (And I don't even have a fireplace in which to use them.)
I guess a note begging me to wash it more frequently. I wonder if he'll even dare himself to come anywhere near it!

What if Sauron resurrects in the present day world?
Sometimes I think he honestly has, Lord_Aragorn. Just look at world events...too sad.

Why are people less courteous to each other nowdays?
I have the belief that people have given up:
2.Faith, especially in their fellow human beings.
What happens when society becomes so hardened and apathetic is simple; everyone just stops caring. That translates into:
1.Loss of manners, common courtesies, etc.
2.Loss of sense of morality and ethics.
3.Loss of emotion and sensitivity.
4.Loss of civilization altogether(well, it could happen if the world isn't careful...if we don't care, then we'd all bomb each other to smithereens). I am not going to get overly political, but us Americans are the worst offenders sometimes.

I am sure that I have oversimplified quite a bit, but overall, I say that it is insensitivity that is doing it, Terrijayne.

Was that a long enough answer?

Why do I think I know even slightly what I'm talking about?
Silly, because as anyone can see, you still care. Happy Elf Smilie And that is why those of us who also do, feel so much worse, the hurt of this insensitivity.

Three men and two dogs climbed up a hill; only the two dogs came back down. What were the dogs doing up there any way?
Marking their territory.

Referring to the question by Grondy, why didn't the men go up the hill?
They did. Reread Grondy's first sentence. Big Laugh Smilie

If you got a cherry-red Ducati motorcycle as a gift, would you sell it or keep it for your own personal use?
Give it back and ask for a metallic grey coloured one!!

Why would someone give me a motorcycle for a gift anyway?
because motorbikes are freaking sweet!

how come?
Because they're just so fun to ride! Personally, I'm more of a Harley person. You hear them coming, and can't help but look.

There is a 'redneck' word we've been trying to figure out how to spell. How would you spell 'umptoo'?
Like Umptoo!

Why is Santa so fat?
To symbolise blood and the greenery I guess. To expand, the blood of the trees people shed when they cut living fir trees to put them in the living room for a little time for fun and where they eventually die!

What if Santa became deaf?
He wouldn't be able to hear Redalf's loud nose as it blares fourth threw the Dark Knight's stillness with its HONK! HONK! HONK!

Did you shoot your eye out with your brand new Red Ryder B-B Air Rifle? Or did you just talk your younger sibling into licking the frozen steel flagpole?
Both! Plus, as an added bonus, I had my mouth washed out with soap after saying the Big Wazoo of bad words, "Fudge" only not as nice, while helping my father to change a tire on our car!(All hail the mighty enduring power of A Christmas Story!)

Why do some things retain their charm even after years and years of their use?
Probably because the kids were having so much more fun playing with the toys' boxes, rather than the toys, that their parents hid the toys away in the closet before they were broken.

How many jelly beans does it take to fill a one gallon jar?
An infinite number as you can never fill the jar because you keep eating them.

Did you get any Tolkien related pressies for Christmas and if so what were they?
ROTK extended version... i already has FOTR so all i need now is the TTT and i'll have complete set of extended versions.

i put on a couple pounds over the holidays, now i'm 168lbs... who joined me!?
I sure did Turin! Must've gained at least five pounds...lotta excersize for that.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite. They all will keep giving suggestions to others but will never do it themselves. Or they will just wait for their hubbies to come home!

Why are the IT technicians so stupid?
Because the first question they always ask me is, "Are you sure it's plugged in?" To which I reply, "Sure, what do you think I am stupid or something. Oh!!! Forget it. *embarrassed*

Wherefore art thou?
Well, I think I am correct in saying that "wherefore" means something close to "why", so my answer is: I have never known quite why I'm here...

Do you know which is heavier: A pound of feathers, or a pound of bricks?
An old cheap trick! Both weigh a pound. None is heavier!

What weighs heavier, Bricks bought for 1 pound or cotton bouught for 1 pound?
Ah yes, another cheap old trick! They both weigh the same as well. But hey, just weigh both to double-check.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three in the night?
The Riddle of the Sphinx

"Are we there yet?"
Just a FEW more loaves!

This is hilarious!

What's REALLY under your bed?
KILLER DUST BUNNIES!! But in my case a lot of books and stuff.

At what point do you realize that there are too many lights and ornaments on your Christmas tree and have to take most if it off?
When the tree gets too heavy and falls.

What would you do if you were told to world was ending tomorrow?
What weighs heavier, Bricks bought for 1 pound or cotton bouught for 1 pound?

Ah yes, another cheap old trick! They both weigh the same as well. But hey, just weigh both to double-check.

The bricks silly, they were bought for 1 pound sterling! Wink Smilie

To answer the last question: When the whole tree tipped over because we forgot to the backside, then added more to balance and continued doing this until NASA called complaining they couldn't concentrate because of the glare off our tree.

HOLY MOSES! you forgot to get your mom a present, what are you going to do?
Ask her to give me one. Who doesn't like getting presents rather than giving one?

You have dug a tunnel through the earth to the other side, where would you be when you emerge from the tunnel?
Either Heaven or Hell, having been burnt to less than a crisp before I got to the center of the earth.

When getting dressed in the morning, which shoe did Tolkien tie the laces of first?
I think he didn't wear any shoes but rather moved about barefeet thinking he was a hobit as well.

Did he?
Could he? Should he? He never quite knew what to do in such situations.

If your garden gnome has the white hand of Sauruman on his forehead one morning, should you let someone know or just put it in the neighbor's yard?
Neighbor's yard of course!!

If your trees suddenly began to talk and make threatening moves at the postman, what would you do?

Run! Haven't you seen Poltergeist? No moving and talking trees for me thank you very much!

Why don't our eyebrows keep growing like the hair on our heads?
They do, and my father-in-law is living proof of that shudders. One of these days I'm going to put them in a nice elven braid. Big Laugh Smilie

What did you do to celebrate the new year?
i celebrated with a bit too much champagne. . .

Did you get what you wanted for Christmas?

Will time travel help?
As long as you're not evil or unintelligent.

What came first: chicken salad or egg salad?
The mayonnaise!

When time flies, where does it go?
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