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Thread: The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.

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"Oops my mistake then, so it was Loni after all. Here's your ale and a thank you for your help Calin," and he points the Troll towards the kitchen and sets him to work stowing the newly purchased groceries in their proper places.

He grabs a plate cuts a piece of pumkin pie, adds a couple roasted chestnuts as garnish as well as a swirl of whipped cream and a dark chocolate shaving, and returns to the bar where he hustles over to Windrush's table. "Here you go my friend," and places the pie before the hungry elf.

Then he returns behind the bar and draws a a tankard of Gimli's Finest and a pitcher of beer; the forner he presents to Rue Auburn smiling, "For your dark song."

He returns to Windrush's table and bending over, whispers so none of the other patrons could hear him and trying to lessen any embarasment, ("Master Windrush Sir, I only say this just in case you hadn't yet heard: it isn't considered polite RPG etiquette to move someone else's character or even to put words in their mouth. You may suggest or request that they do something, but only they get to do the actual doing of it, don't you see" and he continues with a friendly smile, "then all we others get to do the reacting to it if we've a mind to do so.")

Grondy then tops-off Windrush's tankard from the pitcher and places the pitcher of beer beside the elf and says with wink, "Just in case you run dry afore we can get back to you. If you wants something more to eat, just yell. I'm off to get me a bowl of that hot creamy, cheesy broccolli and cauliflower soup and some toasted garlic bread, but if you needs anything just you give a yell and somebody will be back in a couple jiffys." And with that Grondy scurried back to the kitchen,
"Thank you", She said, accepting it. Rue quickly took a sip and began moving to a secluded table, taking out a book as she drank.
Laurel quickly bathed, changed wench dresses, and tied her hair back away from her face. It would be a busy night, indeed. As she made her rounds again in the bar, she noticed that the ale she had left Loni was-gasp-still there! Then she felt a little silly, as she remembered that Loni had gone on the quest to get supplies. (Oops, sorry Grondy) The dwarf just brought so much life to the inn, she mused breifly, then set about clearing plates and bringing back full ones to those whose apetite required sustenance. Then, inspiration hit. Laurel rushed to her employer's side and in a frenzied blur of mumbles told Grondmaster of the idea she had of holding a singing or joke contest among the inn's patrons. "Well, Sir, we do have a lot of guests to entertain..."
Grondy scratches his head, thinks a while, scratches some more, decides he too needs a bath and that Laurel's brainstorm has major possibilities. "Should we just make it a song or joke in general or how about if we do this around a theme such as 'The song or joke an old Orc warrior would sing or tell upon his retirement for the Dark Lords or Sarumans's service.'

Making it theme specific will keep our clientele from just mumbling the words to some current tune on their Eye-Box playlist or repeat the joke from this week's Cartalk or the current edition of Readers Digest. Least that is my take on it. What do the rest of you think?"

May your beard grow ever longer, may the twinkle never leave your eyes
and your toes always find a nice fire to warm themselves by Smile Smilie
An absolutely splendid Idea, Grondy as long as the newbies don't have to go first Big Smile Smilie I promise not to tell anymore silly stories
Eva had been listening to the conversation, having heard it as she walked by to refill someone's soup bowl. "I think it's a great idea! But that topic seems a bit narrow, Grondy... Maybe we could sing songs about the Inn!"
Calis looks up from his mug. Singing songs about the inn... Sounds like a gret idea. I'll see what I can put together... tell me if there is any change.
"Okay Eva" here we go:


Post your entries in character below and sometime early in May we'll pick the best ones. First prize will be at the least a week's supply of Gimli's Finest.

One that springs to mind and which won't count in the contest, was written by Professor Tolkien and published in The Fellowship of the Ring as well as The Adventures of Tom Bombadil and The Tolkien Reader. It starts out:

There is an inn, a merry old inn
beneath an old grey hill,
And there they brew a beer so brown
That the Man in the Moon himself came down
one night to drink his fill.


And after all that, Grondy draws himself a tankard of Gimli's Finest to sooth his throat from all that shouting.
The doors of the inn open, everyone goes quiet, the music stops. A woman walks in quietly, she has long brown hair and blue piercing eyes, the bow slung over her shoulder is hand carved and on a belt hanging at her side is quiver is full of arrows.
Elvish script is tattood along one of her arms.

She says, ’My names is Maydmarion, I’m new to this area, please may I join you all for a drink and a chat. I heard the laughter from outside, it sounded nice.

Everyone starts talking and drinking, the band starts playing again...
Grondy bustles up to to the tattooed lady, "Welcome, welcome! You remind me of a song my nuncle Ned used to sing. Speaking of which, please read and comply with the sign" he says smiling, and points to the one hanging over the bar in the first post of this thread. He wipes down her table and continues with, "Everyone has to do this for their first drink; even I had to do it." And he goes off humming the tune of Tra La La Boom Di-ay while thinking "My uncle Ned was there, he came to gape and stare ..."
Oh.. well.. let me see, Maydmarion puts down her bow and unclasps her quiver and states

"This is for my lost love...."

Maydmarion starts to singing in a soft, sad voice, the rest of the patrons look up expectantly....

When I hear you laugh
When we share a secret
When your eyes sparkle
When we’re just us.

When we don’t have to talk
When I watch you sleeping
When you remember
When I don’t have to explain.

When you walk into the room
When we are in a crowd
When I’m by myself
When you make me giggle.

When I hear your heart beat
When you reach for me
Even when you’re not looking
That’s when I love you.

Gimili asks what the drink will be, discretely wiping a tear from his eye. Maydmarion replies a single malt whisky if you have one - I need it to warm up and to forget...
"That was a mighty fine lament Maydmarion, which did bring a tear or two to both mine eyes. Gimli hasn't been around for a while, I'm filling in for him. (OOC: So you mustn't put tears in his eyes or words in his or any other player's character's mouth, saving your own, for we are a RPG).

Anyway here's your double-malt whiskey," said Grondy as he set it before the bow-woman. "If you'd like a tankard of Gimli's Finest Ale its on the house for your song; and would you be wanting a plate of Watcher Rings or Spicy Balrog Wings to snack upon whilst you have your drink?"
A fine lament Maydmarion "Bravo" I take my hat off to you

Windrush stands up from the table and bows low then sits down

again as he has consumed a little too much of Grondy's fine ale

and a Balrog's talon has stuck in his tooth
Just a thought for the day;

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the Khazad-dumish tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and the lager.

Hic !!! Winking Smilie

Maydmarion sends her sorries for putting words in Gimli's mouth. Very Sad Smilie (After I read your bit I recall reading a bit about speaking for another person - please let me know if I err again Wink Smilie )

Anyway, the Ale sounds really good, I need a good pick-me-up, and the Spicy Balrog Wings could hit the spot, I've been on berries and leaves for the past week or so.

Looking forward to meeting the locals.

oohhhh I've just hit my 300 post Wiggle Smilie
"Here you go Maydmarion a hot plate of Spicy Balrog Wings and a some Gimli's Finest to help wash it down and to put out the fire. If it still seems too hot, I've got a bottle of milkweed juice that is guaranteed to take your mind off the hotness, though the remedy may be worse than the cause."

"Nice song Windrush; is its title 'The Landlord's Prayer'" says Grondy with a grin? "You probably need a refill after that: the same or would you like to switch?"
it certainly is the Landlords Prayer and maybe a switch would
help me stay awake for another hour or so
thank you
Eva stands up on the stage. "Well, Windrush seems to have started the contest... I have a song that I wrote when I first came here about the Khazad-Dumish, and it seems appropriate for this contest, so..."
Eva begins to sing to accompaniment that, strangely enough, doesn't seem to have a source.

The Khazad-dumish Inn Song by Eva lilith

"My first is the last in back and in Took
And part of the difference twixt left and forsook.
My next is the first of both haddock and hook,
My third is but one ere the first that’s in book.
My fourth’s at the end, the last of them all,
The fifth is the third, for those that recall.
For the sixth and the seventh, the same letter call,
Starting dizzy and drunk, this one’s not hard at all!
For the eighth, here’s an answer, and not just a clue:
When you’re all by yourself, there’s no one but you.
Next is a letter that lets movers move;
Though they don’t meow or mumble, you’ll find it there, too!
I am the tenth letter- don’t look for me!
I can’t be seen, for an I’s how you see.
My eleventh is neither in foul nor in free,
Gollum uses this one a lot, you’ll agree.
My twelfth is its own self divided by six,
My thirteenth the tenth one thrown into the mix.
My last are both second when you’re ’in a fix’
And at the ’n’d of where I get my kicks.
When you solve this riddle, you’ll have in your hand
The name of the inn that will never be bland.
So if you walk alone or roam in a band
Make your way to this tavern, the best in the land!"

Eva takes a quick bow and hurries off the stage to applause from those patrons sober enough to appreciate her song.
whoop whoop whoop

Calls Maydmarion from the corner, waving hand in the air, bravo. Genius Smilie Give that girl a drink...
Here Eva, this drink is brought to you by your friendly neighbor, Maydmarion in honor of your song. Your song makes me wish I'd a finished school; all that figuring out musta took some book learnen to do.
Woah, I got stuck at 'Thod' which doesn't sound right. What's the answer? *loni feels stupid*
lol THOD!?!?!?!?!
Loni it is none other than in order
or the Khazad-Dumish Inn but good job on making the rhyme eva even if it was made a while ago
Bravo !!! Eva Well Done and Well Followed

You definately deserve that drink
Eva blushes bright red and quietly thanks the patrons for their praise, then scurries back to the kitchen, still holding her mug of Gimli's Finest.
How about a round of drinks to everyone on me - just to say Happy Friday Happy Elf Smilie

Have one yourself Gimli for being a friendly landlord and putting up with everyone Wiggle Smilie

Have one yourself Gimli for being a friendly landlord and putting up with everyone

The barkeep is Grondy, not Gimli. Grondy is standing in for Gimli_axe_wielder, who has not been seen around here for quite some time.
Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
"Okay, here's a round for everyone on Maydmarion. Thanks MM; though as Gimli still ain't here, I'll drink his so it doesn't grow stale, moldy, or sprout vegetation." After passing around the drinks Grindy passed out three platters piled high with piping hot Bar-B-Qed Orc Knuckles made with Gimil's Three Alarm Bar-B-Q Sauce. "Enjoy!"

Welllllll whot du yu xsspt frum sumwon hoo is bin driking oll da .... hic hic sorey

Maydmarion then falls Fast Asleep Smilie on the bench....
Grondy grabs a blanket and gently drapes it over the shoulders of Maydmarion, "Don't want her catching cold," he mentioned to the House Troll, "and she's gonna have a head the size of a house in the morning. I guess I better see that I have the makings for Gimli's patented Morning After Tonic." He thought to himself, "I'd do the same for Loni, exceptin' she's made of Dwarf stuff and we Dwarves don't have any need for it."
HOODIE's 2nd favorite song: (It has REALLY NICE ELECTRIC GUITAR)

Everything has fallen to pieces,
Earth is dying help me Jesus
We need guidance, we've been misled,
young and hostile, but not stupid.

Corporate leaders, politicians,
kids can't vote, adults elect them
Laws that rule the school and workplace,
signs that caution, sixteen's unsafe.

We really need to see this through,
we never wanted to be abused
We'll never give up, it's no use,
if we're BEEPED up you're to blame

Let this train wreck burn more slowly,
kids are victims in this story
Drown our youth with useless warnings,
teenage rules they're BEEPED and boring

We really need to see this through,
we never wanted to be abused
We'll never give up, it's no use,
if we're BEEPED up you're to blame

Everything has fallen to pieces,
Everything has fallen to pieces,
Everything has fallen to pieces,
Everything has fallen to pieces,
Everything has fallen to ...

We really need to see this through,
we never wanted to be abused,
We'll never give up, it's no use,
if we're BEEPED up you're to blame!
Something I wrote when I was 16 ......

I watch from my window
Family and friends going up the hill
I wonder why no-one asked me
I watch from my window

Then I realise

I was so young, so full of dreams
I watch from my window, my family and friends
As they lower me into the cold, hard ground
I watch from my window

Then I understand
There's a stirring and a blanket falls to the ground.........

Ohhh my head, what happened. Elves don't get drunk, what did I drink. Oooohhh the pounding in my head, I've never felt like this before.
Gimli, do you have anything that can help, pleeese....

Maydmarion stands up and....
.....QUICK - where's the ladies - Maydmarion does a dash to a door near the bar.....
"Nice song Hooded rider, and the guitar accompanyment was quite good. I see you are ready for a refill. Same again? Would you like some French-fried Watcher Rings or some Spicy Balrog Wings? And then I better start mixing up Gimli's Famous Morning After Tonic’ for Maydmarrion, for it looks like she will soon be ready for it."
Loni listened to the random Hooded RIder and completely disagreed. On EVERY level. BUT SHE WAS TOO DRUNK TO CARE!!!!! But now.... she's curious. "MORNING AFTER TONIC!!!! MORNING AFTER TONIC!!!!" You know Loni, whenever there's a drink to be had, alcoholic or otherwise, she wants to see if it will get her drunk if she has enough of it.
Maymarion returns from the ladies and promises a gift for Gimli for looking after her.

Does that happen to everyone, Maydmarion asks Gimli, with a smile as she picks up her cloak and bow, luckily there no damage to the bow, Maydmarion brings up the bow and draws back to the kisser, more out of habit than anything else. She slowly winds down (everyone knows not to loose a string without an arrow nocked, as it could shatter the bow and of couse you don't loose an arrow indoors),.
That's some pretty powerful ale Gimli, I'll have to watch and pace myself next time....
Grondy looked over his shoulder to see if the still long absent Gimli had returned. Finding he hadn't, Grondy surmised that Maydmarion was still hulucinating Gimli's presence or was still confusing himself with the abstentee proprietor of this fair establishment.

Anyway, Grondy placed a glass of the most godawful looking liquid before Maydmarion and said, "Drink, it will make you feel better, though you might want to hold your nose while your downing it, for it don't smell much better than a harpy's nest."

"You don't need any of this Loni," he said to the Dwarf in the corner, "unless you want your ears curled," he added with a grin.
(Ohh sorry Grondy, told you in my e-mail I'm new to this - I keep forgetting Gimli's not here and you're looking after things. Ok Grondy Grondy Grondy Grondy Grondy Grondy hopefully I've got it.)

Maydmarion, Thanks Grondy and holds here nose and downs the drink in one.

Oh that's awful.... but..... hey I feel loads better. Wow that's better than any of the potions I could get from the wizards den over the Misty mountains, does it 'Cure all ill's' or is it just for after your ale...

Well I've got to go, will be gone for a few days, I've got some business to do clearing up some trouble up North, see you when I get back and don't forget I said I'd bring you a gift for looking after me, Grondy.

See you later
"So long Maydmarion and remember to 'Be good, if you have to'." And with a wave, Grondy sets to work scrubbing down the surface of the bar.
Eva came out of the kitchen, where she had just put the last of Calin's groceries away- some of them had still been out, due to all the chaos lately. Looking around, she found the inn strangely calm- even Grondy didn't have anything to do but clean the bar. She wondered if everyone had left, or just passed out....
Lightfoot lifted her head and blinked some, looking around. She found it to be oddly quiet. Lightfoot smiled some, stretching her arms up above her head.
"Need any help with anything?"
"Well Lightfoot, maybe you'd like to help me transfer those bottles that were found in the now unblocked second cellar up to the fastness of the Inn's wine cellar, where they won't be a temptation to any passing adventurers, and then we'll bring a couple of them up here so you, Eva, and I can sample them at our leisure."
"don't forget me too!!" as Windrush lifted his head having been stupified by the drinks that Maydmarion had bought all night... "maybe a nice pot of coffee and some gnarled
orcs knuckles drizzled with some honey if you please Grondy"

Windrush got up from his table and stretched his legs and arms, looking forward
to the day ahead and the next nights drinking session Big Smile Smilie
Calin looked up from the paper on which he was trying to compose a song and realises he has been forgotten about. He sees grondy and lightfoot heading towards the stairs and goes with them because he is not going to be able to come up with a song to beat eva's riddle.
As Grondy and his two companions headed for the stairs to the nether regions of the Inn, he yelled back over his shoulder, "Say Ms. Eva, will you please get coffee and honey drenched orc knuckles for Master Windrush? I'll be down below for a while; we're gonna shift some stock."

"Come on you two," and with that they disappeared around the corner and down the stairs into the cellars.
Ahhh ! Ms Eva it is always a pleasure never a chore, i really need the coffee to sobre me up
and am absolutely starving
Meanwhile Calin, Lightfoot, and Grondy as they moved the newly found stock from the newly opened second cellar, were working up an appetite and getting very dirty from the accumulated dust and cobwebs that had built up on the stock that someone had secreted there long long ago.

'I hope all the spiders that made these cobwebs have grown up and left the premises, for I dislike having spiders around even more than snakes,' he said as he brushed the webs away bringing another row of wine bottles into view. 'Something about not knowing where they are and my overworked imagination.'

'Well that just about does it. Here's a bottle of this old wine for each of you and one for me, and another for Ms. Eva. Let's go up and wet our whistles and see if this vintage has gotten any finer since whoever laid it down, did so." And with that they dusted each other off trooped back up stairs to the common room, each carrying his newly acquired vintage.
"Here you are, Mr. Windrush! I'm sorry it took me so long; I had a little trouble finding the honey. Watch the coffee- it tends to be a bit strong..."
Eruwen looked up from where she was stroking Claw, and noticed that Grondy was bringing up the wine and liquor from the basement that she had tested out. "Grondy, the one you are carrying is especially nice. Do you mind if I have another sip?" she asked holding out her empty glass. As she did this, Claw jumped off her lap and ran into the kitchen. Eruwen jumped up after her, hoping that she didn't make too much of a mess of the food Eva had on the stove and her new groceries.
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