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Thread: The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.

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Ar-Edain perks up from his drunken stupor and addresses Grondmaster enthusiastically: "Perfectly Normal Beast, you say? I had some of that at a place called The Domain of the King one time. I stopped there for lunch once when I was delivering some packages trans-dimensionally. The food was great, but no one could tell me where I could find and purchase more Perfectly Normal Beasts for a friend of mine who is a struggling rancher. It's a shame that the place doesn't have a better location; even if the bar singer is a little bit over-rated. I must have eaten at least 42 Perfectly Normal Beasts in one sitting. Those creatures are extraordinary."

I can feel the thin ice of copyright infringement chilling my toes even as I type.
Suilyanyel! Which in the tongue of my people means "I greet You!".

I hope elves are allowed to visit a dwarfish Inn. Anyway I will take my chances. To honor your tradition here is a song called "The drinking song" [by J.R.R. Tolkien] and I like to sing it for all of you around, though in my voice it may appear not as glorious as is was mend. Here I go:

Ho! Ho! Ho! to the bottle I go
To heal my heart and drown my woe.
Rain may fall and wind may blow,
And many miles be still to go,
But under a tall tree I will lie,
And let the clouds go sailing by.

Ar-Edain, I accepted a side of Perfectly Normal Beast from an itinerant traveler last month, in exchange for a week's room and board, while he was waiting for what he said was a 'conjugation of the planets'’what ever those are’and he could move along. He also said something about Eddy' being in Spacetime, where ever that is. We get a lot of weird characters in here, yourselves excepted of course. Anyway, when sliced thin, the roast meat makes an excellent sandwich.

That was a fine rendition Ammornel, here's your complimentary tankard of Gimli's Finest’ Ale and combo platter of Spicy Hot Balrog Wings, Deep Fried Watcher Rings, and Bar-B-Qued Warg Ribs.

Hey Corgon, maybe that war party decided to give the Inn a pass and has moved on down the road. If they don't show up by tomorrow, you might want to scout them out to be sure they haven't and that they are no longer mindful of attacking the Inn. They usually don't bother anymore as every time in the past that they've tried it, they've found themselves whupped up one side and down the other.
i hope your right master inn keep. corgon said keeping his eyes on the thorn opening " i hope your right. " corgon stood and acepted the ale and meat eating it quickly and streched his arms and legs cairfully then took out his pipe and pulled his hood over his face and snapped his fingers abd a small ball of fire lit the tolby weed and he puffed it to life and took a long draw from it exhailing the smoke and setteled back down his bow in hand
"Drink and be merry for life is a berry, to eat tis is ripe, and all is allright!! To dance and prance, and sing in romance! Im back indeed, you dont belive??! So sour dont be, just look at me!!!" sang loudly the elf that came jumping through the low tavern doors. He was grinning and broke into a laugh as he saw a old friend indeed inside. "Grondmaster you bearded devil!!! I missed you greatly!!!"
Howdy Etharion welcome back! Pull up a stool and here's a tankard of Gimli's Finest’ Ale to wet your whistle, and then you can tell me of your recent travels. And if your hungry, I've got a loverly mess of stew in the pot, and some freshly baked biscuits with butter and honey.
"Ah..thank you old friend.." said Etharion as he pulled up a chair.
Sitting down he took a sip and grinned "It has been long indeed... travels were many and far...i could spend the whole night reminiscing on them. Yet..the greatest of my journeys i think is just before me... My friend, i am soon to sail over the great sea.." (For RL too :P )
Which direction you be sailing friend Etharion, or is it a secret?

I remember the last time I went a sailing, had my head in a bucket from dock to dock. They'll need to knock me out and hog-tie me to get me shipboard again.
hello so i see i have too sing a song since this is my first time i will give it a try but will for worn you i am not good at it.

Gather thee dwarves, there’s cause for a bash
Tap all caskets and find us your stash
Who calls the round? Whose wallet is heavy?
How many pints can this tummy here levy?

Beer, cider, spirits and ales
Listen to the drunk dwarf tell his tall tales
Loosen your belts, cups in the air
The liquor flows free and the barrels won’t care

And all call:
O, ho, finish in one
Down, down
Until it’s all gone!


Pour another cup, mine appears to be dry
Don’t say there’s no more or a dwarf might cry
All sing along now and sway side to side
No single voice is too ugly to hide

Cheer all ye up, no reason to look grim
There’s no need for dwarven waistlines to be slim
Never mind the weak-stomached one’s snore
Full round bellies make grave spirits soar!

And all call:
O, ho, finish in one
Down, down
Until it’s all gone!


By Brodon’s beard, another two glasses
Didn’t those bosoms just grow on them lasses?
Sweet lady friend mine, won’t you join me?
My lap is empty and the brandy’s for free

Sorry love, didn’t mean to be rude
No telling the stories when a dwarf’s in the mood
But truth be told I’d not ever chose you
Over a pint of my sweet sacred brew

And all call:
O, ho, finish in one
Down, down
Until it’s all gone!


Was that a pink elephant that just flew past?
Funny the shadows that cider kegs cast!
Pardon that noise, didn’t mean to offend
There’s no hic-up a bloody good belch won’t mend

Laughing eyes wat’ry and heads a’ swimming
Look at your red nose dwarf! And stop that grinning!
We’ll stack them mugs unto the ceiling
Of their seats the dwarves are keeling

And all call:
O, ho, finish in one
Down, down
Until it’s all gone!


k was kinda lying im decent at it.
'That's one darn good song there Nolmen. So here's your complimentary tankard of Gimil's Finest’ Ale and a combo platter of our Bar-B-Qued Warg Ribs, Deep Fried Watcher Rings, and Hot and Spicy Balrog Wings.
"Well.." he began, taking a sip "..i'm sailing straight off the charts this time it seems old friend.. Into the great beyond (Down Under). The big journey indeed..."
Just then a song broke out behind him, and he turned to listen. As it came to a end , the elf clapped and then raised his own tankard "Excellent song friend!"
The heavy wooden door opened slowly and the light of the lamps broke the surrounding darkness. An old elf with once green, but now kind of gray coat entered the inn. It was quiet. He looked around and saw few well tended visitors sitting on the tables near the bar. "By Eru, it is good to go to a familiar place!"-the elf thought. And so it was.

-Greetings to the finest brew in Middle Earth and also to those, who do not waste it! What shall an elf do to get some from the strange staff, called "Hairy Meal"?
'Welcome back friend Ammornil, here's a tankard of Gimli's Finest’ Ale for you, I've got ready a hearty beef stew in the pot as well as a crock of baked beans; or if you want to wait a bit there's a nice side of roast beast on the spit that wont be ready for another hour. I've got lots of freshly baked bread and cheeses, as well as our three well known heavy finger snacks, the ones you got on your complimentary platter after yoiu sang your song. Let me know when you've made up your mind.'
Ail's good for a start. And for it grateful I am. I have had no cooked food for a wild so another hour is not too long and I believe it is worth the waiting.
Grondy cleaned and tossed some carrots, onions, and taters in a covered container which he then set on the coals to the side of the spit, knowing they would be ready when the roast was.

An hour later he cut and placed a slab of roast beef a potato, two carrots and and onion on a trencher along with a small cup of drippings from the roast for the potato; and presented all this to Ammornil, as well as a loaf of freshly baked whole-wheat bread and a pot of butter. 'Dig in, it looks so good I think I'll fix a plate for myself.' And he did and it was excellent, if I do say so myself.

'Are you ready for a refill?'
-Oh, you may bet on it, for much of this fine Ail will go, until an big, old Elf gets affected! Bottoms up, mate!
Grondy brought over to the elf's table two tankards of Gimli's Finest’ Ale and here's an extra in case I'm slow to get back to you been grating cheese and chopping veggies for nachos.
A barrel of Ail later the Elven mind of Ammornil seemed not to control all of his thoutghs and deeds, for out of nowhere he pulled out a small peace of paper and placed it on the table plot. He gazed inadequately at it for terribly long time and then also unexpected he started to sing:

E’rendil was a mariner
that tarried in Arvernien;
he built a boat of timber felled
in Nimbrethil to journey in;
her sails he wove of silver fair,
of silver were her lanterns made,
her prow was fashioned like a swan,
and light upon her banners laid...
Hm haaaaaa

This last caused Ammornil to get out of breath and he stopped for just a moment. It was however enough for the bartender to pass him another cup of ail. Drinking (the most of it) Ammornil continued with something that sounded like

In panoply of ancient khhhhhings,... and then he fell asleep.
Grondy started to clap, but not wishing to wake the Elf, he did it one handed. This he has been able to do ambidextrously since he first heard the old Zen question about the sound of one hand clapping. When Grondy does it: he extends his thumb to the side, forms his palm cup-like, and keeping his fingers together, he snaps his hand closed; the resulting volume is about one-quarter of that from two hands clapping.
Ammornil came back into the reality, almost awoken he felt thirsty and looked for the bartender. There was a cup of Ail in front of him. He tasted a big gulp... it was warm. He stood up. "Time passes fast when you want it not to"-he thought. It was time to go back to the roads. Deals were still at hand and the old elf had no intention to fail.

"Till our next meeting, Master Dwarf, may starlight guide you!"
'Aul’, may all your wanderings bring you past this, our friendly watering hole: where the food is good; the atmosphere is even better; and the ale is above average.'
"Where, in Eru's mercy, was that place? I was there just few days ago and ... haaa, there it is".

Ammornil walked once again in the Dwarfish Inn under the Rocks and things were just as if he had went out for a pipe-moment. Some sleepy guests were sitting around the tables, but he was here now for another thing than food and drink. He went to the bar and nodded to the bartender and asked him very silently:

"Do you have any idea, Master Dwarf, where could I find one of the Great Eagles, known to live on top of these rocks?"
"Well Ammornil, if I wanted to find any bird; first I'd look in the sky; failing that I'd look for a nest. However the Great Eagles build their nests in the inaccessible heights, where even a mountain goat would fear to tread. And even were you to see one flying in the sky and wished merely to converse with it, they don't see fit to talk with mere mortals unless that is part of Eru's plan. And if you were planning on hunting or capturing one, I'm sorry but I couldn't condone that; in fact I would be forced to restrain you for trial before the High Council. There is no open season on the Great Eagles and poaching is more than frowned upon. Now then, why would you be a wanting of one of them?"
"I have recently returned from the far North and there, above the ice and frost, a monument stands with inscription, who's language has not been spoken in decent conversation for few millenniums. Unfortunately only a small fragment is now readable and it took me long enough to find source to translate it, but there is what it says in the common language:

'Beneath the blue embracement of the Southern Sea
Look for the light of Mithril from the secret seal.
Behind and up the stairs
Beyond the sight of eyes
The Library of ancient Wizards lies.'

I am looking for some time now the Library of the Healer masters, which is supposed to be in the South of our world. A friend of mine, older and wiser, advised me to ask the Eagles of the Grey Rocks, of this Southern see. 'They', he said, 'have memories for things that were long time ago and they alone can give you, if in mood, directions to your goal...' And I have traveled with full of my speed back. There is one particular eagle I will have to find, and she alone being the oldest of her kind, can probably show me the way. I have already brought a gift, that may ease the conversations. So this is what I came for and why I am looking for this birds. I have looked to the skies alright but without success. As for your worries I, Ammornil Henduluin, elven breed of Mirkwood's Folk, hereby swear in my blood and may Eru's wrath come swiftly upon me, if I mean any harm to the noble lords of the sky. Can you now help me with my task?"
'Seeing as how you put it like that, I can tell you I only know of one person who can help you. There still remains but one of the five who were sent here to help throw down the Dark Tower, he being Radagast the Brown. You need to search him out, for he has a direct access to at least one of the Great Eagles. He is often found in the southern part of Eryn Lasgalen now that most of the Galadrim have departed into the West.

I suggest you visit King Thranduil as he may know the location of Radagast's current abode. When journeying south of the mountains in that fair forest, remember to keep your bow wrapped and hunt no animal, not even for food; he doesn't take kindly to those that do.'
Ammornil took a deep breath. The surch for the ancient palace of knowledge has became a heavy task. But he was not ready to leave behind.

"Thank you, Master Dwarf", he said after a second. "It has been long since I had dealings with Wizards. Of this particular one I have not heard for even longer. Yet he now remains my light among the seas, so I will take it tankfully. May your days be blassed and the stars never fade for you!"

Saying this, the Elf turned around and walked out. From the not well closed door one could easily destinct his voice out: "A road goes ever on and on..."
Pushing the doors Thorin after a very long absence made his way back to the inn.

"Hello Grondy! How are you and how are things here? I'm just back after a very long jouney? Any new activity here?"

"And please i would like a pint of Gimli's finest together with some crispy balrogs wing."
'One order of Spicy Hot Balrog Wings coming up. Here's your Gimli's Finest’ Thorin. Welcome back; not much has been going on here, that Elven adventurer was through earlier this week looking for a Great Eagle. I sent him to the Elves of Mirkwood to find Radagast who might put him in touch with one if he's lucky. What have you been up to?

And here's your snack Thorin, ready for a refill?'
"Yes, sure grondy and thanks"

"I went on a journey to minas tirith where they needed some craftsmen to mend there great door. The work was well remunerated. Their workmen do not possess such skill as we do to do their own work!"

"Cheers Grondy," Thorin ended drinking his second tankard.

"I really missed Gimli's Finest(C) Grondy"
Aye, it is a brew worth traveling far for; it brings many returning customers to the inn.
* walks in and goes to the bar *

may i please have your best of drink?

* looks around shyly *
'Most certainly Pidith, all you have to do is sing us a song.'
See the sign in the first post of this thread.
'Besides your free drink, you'll receive a complimentary combo plate of our tasty snacks, all for just singing us a song or reciting a poem.'
oh my dear sir i do not know any songs or poem that i can resite i was never good a memorizing those things my fauther could tell you that.

looks a little worried, what was she going to do?
Do you have access to any of Tolkien's books? Happy Elf Smilie Copy a couple stanzas from one of his poems. In a pinch you can even copy what one of us have used earlier in this thread. Though whatever you use should make sense and you should have an idea of what it is about and not just be parroting it. Still we won't know that right away and it is the effort that counts. Some people have even replaced their song with a dance, but we made them hum while they were doing it and I wouldn't frown on a good joke or magic trick either. The main thing is to provide the gathered patrons here in the Inn with some entertainment. And remember, we can't tell if that guitar you're playing is electric, acoustic, or air. Orc Grinning Smilie
'Beneath the blue embracement of the Southern Sea
Look for the light of Mithril from the secret seal.
Behind and up the stairs
Beyond the sight of eyes
The Library of ancient Wizards lies.'

she resites it horridabley and looks around to make sure she wasn't humiliating her self.
Hearing the song Thorin woked up abruptly from the corner where he had fallen asleep. He looked at the speaker and said:

"Nice song my good fellow. If you are still thirsty after the free drink offered by Grondy I will be happy to offer you a new pint."

"By the way where are you from? I don't remember having seen you here before," Thorin said from his corner at the back. " And what news of the outside world my friend?"
Grondy move to were Pidith sat after her song, 'You did that just fine Miss Pidith, and here's your tankard of Gimli's Finest’ Ale and complementary combo plate of Deep Fried Watcher Rings, Spicy Hot Balrog Wings, and Bar-B-Qed Warg Ribs. Enjoy! And if you'd rather drink milk, buttermilk, spring water, or Sarsaparilla instead of the ale, just ask. We aim to please; and are glad you sang your song.

That Dwarf over there in the corner is Thorin and his bark is worse than his bite, in fact he's a pretty easy going young feller who you can feel safe talking to, though I wouldn't buy a share in any of his mining ventures, 'cause I haven't seen a pick or shovel in his hands for months, if not years. Still he's one of the good guys.'
i thank you my fellow.

she walks over to thorin and sets down

i would be more then happy my sir. but i don't not know much about the outside world. i live close to rivendell.
"Hmm. Its been a while since I last visited Rivendell. But the environment has always been nice there!" the dwarf grinned.

"Anyway I live in Khazad Dum. Though I am often seen in this inn. It is Gimli's Finest(TM) which brings me often here," he added.

Laughing in his great dwarvish voice Thorin ended by saying, "Don't you believe Grondy. I do my own share of mining and smith work. It is only because I spend so much time here that he makes fun of me!"
'Aye, that it is, but the Inn is a comfortable place to spend some time away from hearth and home. Care for another round Thorin, or a hot corned beef sandwich? I got a new batch of sauerkraut that turns that sandwich into an excellent Reuben.'
it is very pleasent there and very comforting here also.

she sets there eatting the food that was given her and drinking. and she quietly sets there enjoying the conversations going around her
Sian has watched from the door and smelled the warg ribs simmering in their sauce and come to a decision: If Pidith, shy as she is, can stand and sing for the crowd then she also could. She climbs to the stage and stands near one end and softly begins an old ballad:

O, the summertime is come
And the trees are sweetly blooming
And the wild mountain thyme
Grows around the blooming heather

Will ye go lassie, go
And we'll all go together
To get wild mountain thyme
All around the blooming heather
Will ye go, lassie, go..

I will build my love a tower
Near yon clear crystal fountain
Aye, and on it I will plant
All the flowers of the mountain
Will ye go, lassie, go..

Out of breath she clambers down and goes to the bar. "Your finest, Sir!" she says to the Innkeeper. "And I have a coin for some of those ribs that smell so good, or I could trade my services as a seamstress if you have any aprons that need mending."
"Bravo Sian, Bravo!" Thorin shouted.

"And yes Grondy, I'd like to taste your new sauerkraut," Thorin added. "And please put in a pint of beer please."

With these words Thorin went to sit near the fireplace where it was warmer

OOC: Welcome back Sian. You have a very beautiful avatar! And actually the weather is rainy and cold. I'm wishing very hard that I could have been in such an inn as his one sitting in front of the fireplace, drinking beer and eating hot snacks! Orc Smiling Smilie
'Well Sian, as I remember the last time you visited here you were to shy to sing for your supper; and now you have done it beautifully and have earned a tankard of Gimli's Finest’ Ale and a complementary combo plate of our heavy snacks. Though if you would rather have all Bar-B-Qued Warg Ribs and forgo the Spicy Hot Balrog Wings and Deep Fried Watcher Rings I can make that happen, all at no charge this time only.'

'Here's your refill Thorin, enjoy.'

'So tell us Miss Thinker, where have you been and where are you going, or are you on a secret mission that can't be talk about?'
Sian blushes and smiles at the warm welcome and quietly says "Thank you!"

"I would just like the ribs, please, Grondy, too much fried food and spicy things give my aging digestion heartburn. I'm on no secret mission, just my usual wandering from place to place, sewing buttons on where they're needed in exchange for a place to lay my head and a bowl of something hot. I did look in here once before but, yes, I was too shy, not being much of a singer, and I didn't think you'd seen me."

OCCThanks, Thorin! I'm glad you like my new avatar Smile Smilie We're having unseasonable cool, wet weather here too but its good for my garden. Maybe we can talk Grondy into putting hot chocolate on the menu at the Inn..?
Thorin looked up at Sian.

"Do you mind ending my coat which goes over my mail shirt? I lost several buttons in a battle with some mountain orcs and haven't been able to mend it."

"And in return I could mend any metal, stone or work of craft for you,"

OOC: Yes Sian that would be a great idea! Hey ya Grondy you mind adding chocolate the menu? I could negotiate with the farmers of Dale to get the Supplies! :orcsmilie
'Hot chocolate, yes that can be arranged, I think we have served a mug or two since I've been here; much better than some of the herbal teas that have been requested, though our honey ginseng mint is pretty good.'

Here is a recipe for a delicious hot chocolate that I just lifted from after hearing about it on the radio a few minutes ago.

A wonderful, super-dense, rich homemade hot chocolate:

* 3/7 cup evaporated milk
* 1/2 cup corn syrup
* 3 tablespoons golden brown sugar
* 1/2 cup unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa
* 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1 tablespoon unsalted butter

1. In a small saucepan, whisk the milk, corn syrup, sugar, cocoa, and salt. Heat over medium heat for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until all the solids are dissolved and there are no lumps. Remove from the heat and stir in the vanilla and butter until melted.

2. Stir it into warm milk and drink it hot.

(At home Grondy usually just adds water to the store bought powdered hot chocolate mix.)

'Then just the ribs it is Sian, here you go. And the Bar-B-Que sauce is only in a bowl on the side in case it is too spicy for you.'

'Now I'll whip up a batch of hot chocolate for the three of us, as that sounds even better to me today, than Gimli's Finest’.'
Thorin, I would be very happy to mend your shirt this evening. Possibly in exchange you could fix the clasp that fastens my cloak? The pin on the back has come loose. Thank you so much, Grond, that's very thoughtful of you to put the sauce on the side (dips a rib in BBQ and licks it tentatively). The spices are perfect! My compliments, sir! And the hot chocolate will be most welcome. Maybe Pidith would like some too ?.. where has she gone?

OCCThat chocolate recipe sounds really good - I'll have to try it!
"Ok, we have a deal Sian," Thorin said.

He went over to Sian, gave her his shirt and took the pin from her. He then moved back to his table and searched his bag for his tools. Finding the one that was required he was about to start the repairs when he suddenly realised that he was about to work on the Inn's fine tables. He looked doubtfully at Grondy and said:

"Do you have a forge in the Inn where I can work? I don't want to ruin the tables here."
Grondy struggled to carrying a big black pot from the kitchen, which he placed on the bar and said, 'Okay everybody, grab a mug from the stack and step up to the bar for some delicious hot chocolate.'

'There's a shed out back with a disused forge Thorin, but the anvil is still readily available if you clean off the pigeon droppings from it. They've perched in the rafters and made it look like Lord Isildur's statue. Come to think on it, if you can get that old forge going, you can have free use of it. I think all it needs is new leathers for its bellows. Muck it out and repair the bellows and you can probably fire it up; there is a pile of coal in the yard.'

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