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Thread: The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.

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Amari’ shrugs. "Gimli is the one who hired him, he is responsible for keeping him safe, fed and out of trouble, not me. And I've got the papers to prove it. I'm sure he just wants to play."
"Mmmmmmm. Waaaaarg steeeaaaaaaaks." Halo drooled over the bar, placing her order before the cook ran out of fresh warg.
"Mew!" meowed Bunny in agreement, compleatly unawair that if she wanted a warg steak she was gonna have to pay for it herself, as Halo only had enough cash for one steak. And she wasn't very keen on visiting the bank for more as her bank was run by a balrog and staffed entirly by goblins. Ugh!
"Thank ye, sir." Laurel bowed to Stonehelm.

"Pleasure to meet ya, Miss Amarie." She bowed. "I like your troll, he looks like he could raise a row if needed, to be sure."

Then she mounted the bar, stood atop it and sang out,

"Me mother she's a gypsie,
me father he's a preist
they met in an old tavern,
the rest comes down to me.
Hello, good friends and neighbors,
wherever your feet have been,
we'll drink 'till drunk and then we'll stay
in the Khazad-Dumish Inn!

As she belts out the last line, she slips off the bar and falls down, face-first.
Ice still lays on the floor, very drunk and enjoying it very much. She claps and whistles for Laurel's song, saying, "Great job, new friend of mine! I'm, I'm uh," she paused and looked at the door, "Oh yeah! I'm Icefangs! You could call my Ice or Icey if you like!" After this she stumbled to her feet and back to her stool at the bar. She sat down, glared in the general direction she thought Stoney was in, which just happened to be the wrong way and she ended up glaring at a fencepost out the window Ha Ha Ha Smilie, and promptly pounded her head into the bar in a dead faint.

Etharion laughed at his drunk friends. He wasnt drinking anything alcoholic. He didnt like being drunk. "Come one Ice go freshen yourself up in the water barrel. You look like a zombie!!"
And the dwarf noticed Eth wasn't drunk. "YOU'RE NOT DRUNK!!!" she shouted. "COME AND BE DRUNK!!!!" and she soaked his face with some balrog wings and ale. (She hadn't added the Warg Steak and orc knuckles yet). "NOW I HAVE TO START OVER AGAIN!!!" she shouted. "BALROG WINGS ORC KNUCKLES WARG STEAK ALE!!!!" and promptly jumped over the bar and ran into the kitchen, a little impatient that the warg steak wasn't quite done yet.
Stoney slips dwarven anti-alcohol pills into Loni's drink. And for good measure he drops a few into Icy's steaming mug.

"A toast everyone! Drink up!"

"Don't mind if I do!" Amarie emptied her ale. "Ahhh... good stuff." Then she looks at Icey. "Aww... Poor little woolf pup... Look she is sleeping of the alchohol. Isn't that cute?" She looks at Laurel. "She is half elf, but don't hold that against her. Not her fault. Nice puppy."
Ice blinked. Her ears perked as the word 'puppy' passed through them. She slowly lifted her head, and, shaking it, drank some of the hot water that had been sat in front of her. She felt much better all of the sudden and looked at Eth, grinning. Her hair was acting very wildly, and it's red ends were stuck out in every which direction, like she had been shocked. She jumped up, ran to the water barrel, and plunged her head deep inside it. She walked back to the bar, and shook her hard, to make sure everyone near her got wet, and looked at Amarie, "Very nice to see you again, Amarie. So, what brings you this way once more?"

And a very nice song it was Ms Laurel. Here's your tankard of Gimli's Finest, I suggest you nurse it as it is much more enjoyable if you relish the long lasting bouquet and flavour. Happy Elf Smilie
"Oh, thank ye, Sir! I have heard many a fine tale about this very good ale, not to be a poet, Sir! Don't worry about me pacin' myself, though, sir, because I hold my liquor very well, you see I am from a town that raises their babes on the stuff! So cheers to you, Grondmaster, sir. And CHEERS TO THE COMPANY!" Laurel shouted out to the busy crowd. "Who needs more ale or warg steaks or orc knuckles?"
"I'm sure that Loni wants some!" Ice yelled, after refusing a mug of ale. She waited until Eth had turned around, talking to someone, then she poured some hot sauce in the mug of whatever Etharion was drinking. She turned back around, and ordered some water, which she turned purple with food coloring, to make sure Eth didn't do the same thing that Stoney did.

Etharion accidentaly caught a whiff of the hot sacue in his drink, so he pretended to drink it. When he saw nobody was watching, he poured the mug into his sleave!! This was probably by him before because there was no sign of leaking from his sleave. A wizards robe has many uses Elf With a Big Grin Smilie .He then drank on, showing no effect from the hot sauce.
"Ahh, Etherion? There seems to be something leaking from the toe of your boot."

"Oi, Icy, did that full moon bother you to much the other night? You didn't go out and ravage villagers did you?"

"Heheh. No their isnt." he said, ignoring the puddle at his feet.Dang, he'll have to warn his tailor about this. "What do you mean by >ravage<, Stoney? he said wih a laugh.
Icey grinned. "No, not much ravaging the other night, though I did scare a few little kids, all that 'All Hallows Eve' and stuff. They thought I wanted to eat them! All I wanted to know was if they could point in the direction of the nearest blacksmithes'. I told a friend I'd find him a good sword, and he finally pestered me into looking right then. You should never visit a friend when he wants something from you..." she said sipping the purple water, which had started to smell strangely alcoholic.

"Besides, it wasn't a full moon for long, then, it was covered by clouds in a good ten minutes. Hate it when a beautiful full moon is covered with clouds, stops up a good time of scaring people. They all think I'm a werewolf or something, too bad it don't work on non-full moon nights..." she contiued. "Some-AHH!" she jumped up, yelping and clutching her foot. "I think there's an acid leak in your floor Grondy, something's coming through and it just tried to eat my foot!" she said.

Laurel came out of the kitchen after serving the rest of the faire to the tavern patrons carrying thick glass mugs full of a very dark brown ale.
"This here ale is the brew of me hometown. I made a fresh batch for ye all last eve, but was interrupted by some doggish looking thing. Shook me up a bit, too. But 'ere it is, drink up! And a nice root beer for all ye no drinkers." She scuttled around the busy room, serving the brew.
"What is that smell, I say? Rather strong like peppers." She sneezed on Loni accidentally. "Oops, sorry love."
Grondy doned his white sequined outfit, fake sideburns and wig, picked up his guitar, jumped on the stage. He took the mike and said, "I dedicate this next number to Icefangs, who shouldn't take it personal." Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

And then he gave out with:
You ain't nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time.
You ain't nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time.
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine.

Well, you said you were high-class; that was just a lie.
Well, you said you were high-class; that was just a lie.
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine.

I say yeah!

Dalmatian, doberman, chihuahua-huahuahua
Boxer, scotty, beagle, collie, poodly-doodly-doodly-doo,
A husky, no, no, you ain't no pekinese!

Good dog, bad dog, up girl, down, boy!
Sit! roll over on the ground, boy!
Doggy style! Heel! On your knees, boy!
Chow-chow, Lorne Greene sees your fleas, boy!
Hey, Mr. Canine, hop that gravy train.

You're like Snoopy, you're like Goofy,
You're like Astro, you're like Pluto,
I said you're like Scooby-Doo, and Marmaduke,
And Rin-Tin-Tin, and Toto too.
You're like Lassie, Checkers, and Huckleberry Hound!

You ain't nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time.
You ain't nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time.
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine.

Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine.

Thank you, thank you.
Whiskey River, take my mind
Don't let a memory talk to me
Whiskey River, don't run dry
You're all I got, take care of me
I'm drowning in a Whiskey River
Bathing my memory's mind in the wetness of its soul
Feeling the amber current flowing from my mind
To warm an empty heart you left so cold
Ice grins, saying, "Thank you very much, Grondy! That truly touched me!" She dramatically wipes a tear from her eye. "Let me tell how that last part should go..." She repeats the last line of Grondy's song, except at the very end, instead of 'mine' she howls, really long and somehow on key.

Loong howls were heard from outside, answering Icey. Amari’ sat her mug down with a thump. "Did you really have to do that?" she says with a deep sigh. "I had JUST gotten the Hounds of Helsinki to stop yapping with the wanna-be werewolves of Waikiki and go to sleep, now I have to start all over again. It's actually my own fault, I shouldn't have let them go trick and treating, sugar makes them hyper. Yes, my babies, mama is coming!"

She pats Icey on the shoulder as she get up to go outside. "See you later my friend. And don't mind what they are saying, they are just jealous of your lovely singing voice. You know what kids are like..."
The dwarf promptly tried a beer shower of her own. She decided it was too good to hog all to herself, and so gave everyone else one as well.

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.

I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.

Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin' everywhere you go,
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.

Johnny Cash
Ice claps for Ar-37 and says, "Great job, Ar!" She orders some more water, and sits quietly, waiting for someone else to get up with a guitar.

Grondy sends a mug of water with a lemon twist down the bar to Icefangs. We've got a lot more lemons, if you'd rather have lemonade Ms Icy; I been planning on making lemon meringue pie.
Amari’ strolls back in, orders some spicey Orc Knuckles and decides to join a few dwarves in a heated discussion about balrogs.
Etharion applauds Ar-edain. "Great song Ar!! Splendid!!" Elf With a Big Grin Smilie "Oy Grondy!! Can i have a Balrogs(Baileys) cream please? Im in the mood for some sweet."
Here you go Etharion, enjoy! Though I might suggest you put your pipe out while drinking it, as it can be harmful to ones eyebrows.
Laurel comes out from the kitchen with a fresh batch of Crispy Troll Toes, hands out the grub, and begins to attend to the cleaning, when she notices someone's jewel-encrusted necklace has fallen behind the bar. "Oi! Is this little beauty anyone's? Found it behind the bar." She brings it over to Grondy, then whistles away merrily, mop in hand.
"Ah thank you Grondy! have a point." Etharion wisely puts his pipe out before drinking his Balrogs cream.
"Well, Lemonade sounds nice, Grondy! Could toss me a few more lemons?" she says, waving her mug in the air.

Grondy picks up four of the yellow citric ovaloids and juggles them, then with a "Heads up!", casually starts flipping them slowly one at a time over in the vicinity of Icefang's mug. Juggling Smilie
"Ouch!" Stoney winces as a lemon bounces off his nose and splashes into his rum. He fishes it out and watches as the rum eats away the peeling.

"Lemon, Icy?"

LEMON??? YOU'RE EATING LEMON??? WHY NOT BEER??" yelled the dwarf.
"Because you have drunk the barrels dry. We will have to wait for Grondy's next shipment to come in. Until then...have a lemon."

Grondy grinning as he whispers to Loni, "Cause we only drinks beer; chewing on it is just plain non-productive, unless of course it is a well aged stout what you can stand a spoon in, efen it don't eat the spoon first!"

I'm expecting another dozen barrels this afternoon and there's a big batcj a brewin' in the cellar that should be ready in a day or two. It's still a little green for the likes o you all.
Ice slips the lemons into her drink, well, the ones she managed to catch, anyway. She crushes them with a fork she found on the floor and tastes her drink.

"Ugh! This stuff tastes horrible! Wait, I forgot the sugar!" she cries.

Ice jumps up and runs around the bar, grabbing a bag of sugar. She comes back to her stool and pours the sugar into her lemon-water, accidentally emptying the entire bag, but she doesn't notice. She stirs it up with a spoon and tastes it.

Immediately her eyes light up and her tail and ears stand straight up. She gulps down the rest of the sugary mass and rushes around the tavern, on a sugar high... She shouts things at the patrons like, "Kablooble!" and "Hafernet!"

Grondy drops a cage around Icefangs to protect her from the other customers and tosses her a bag of freshly made deep fried Oliphaunt Toenails along with a couple packets of vinegar and salt.

"Anyone else want some of these? They're crisp and tasty and go down well with Gimli's Finest as well as the house bar swill we've got on tap."
Sounds dee-lish! Hit me up with some Grondy! As well as some icecream, I could use some cookie dough icecream if you have any Wink Smilie
Grondy spins a plate of Deep Fried Oliphaunt Toenails’ down the bar to Andrea and says, "I'll have to check in the freezer to see if we have that flavored ice cream. If we don't, do you have a second choice?"
Ar-37 quits whatever he was doing and charges in the front door of the tavern, screaming nonsense, and out the back door. (which wasn't there before he ran into the wall and left a human-shaped hole in it, later some dwarves installed a human-shaped door over the hole) he runs through oer forest, field and plain without stopping. Screaming all the way.
"That thar 'uman bean musta forgot to take 'is lithium this morning, else he 'ad a little coffee in 'is sugar. Weird!!!," said Grondy as he hung a sign over the hole. It read, AR-37 was here: He came, he saw, he crunched, he left.
A few hours later the dwarves came along and mad the aformentioned door. The sign stayed there as long as the tavern existed.
Laurel had snuck behind the bar while all of the lemon-ness was going on, and found Loni passed out there from lack of ale. "Poor ol' dwarf." She said, then continued to paw around through the various bottles of what she thought was liquor. Finding a tall purple bottle, she uncorked it and took a deep swig. "Yum!" She thought. " Has a nice flavor. Odd, but nice." She guzzled some more.
Amari’ decided to leave the Balrog discussion as the dwarves started throwing things at each other. She went to the bar to get another one of Gimlies Finest and found Laurel guzzling down something she probably should have left alone. "Umm.. ms Laurel, isn't that? I really don't think... I.... will just run quietly over there and hide."
Stoney darts away from the bar to join Amarie.

"That was a ful bottle of Belches in a Bottle you just drank Laurel! They always come in the purple bottles. Grondy keeps one over there to add a few drops to the drinks of rude patrons...just a few drops mind you, and you drank the whole thing!!!"

name-Rue Aburn
cloths-short brown skirt over brown leggings, black kneehigh boots,forest green tight fitting shirt , black cloak.
weapons-elven broadsword strapped across back, bow and arrows, throwing knives, and a quarter staff.
appearence-bright greeneyes, shoulder length red hair, slightly pointed ears.

"Well met, Rue Auburn," says Grondy. "If you'd like a drink, read Gimli's Sign in the first post of this thread/topic." Happy Elf Smilie This is more of a place to hang out (read: eat, drink, and be merry) rather than a place to join an adventure or start a story.

"Dang!" he continued, "I can't believe she drank the whole thing. Now I'll have to order another bottle out of Dale. Somebody let me know if she stops belching and starts rising like a weather balloon. If so I'll have to jab a tap in 'er to draw off some of the gas. OOOOeeeee! Don't smell too pretty either, do it?"
Somebody let me know if she stops belching and starts rising like a weather balloon.

why? did she drink that stuff from 'Charley and the Chocolate Factory'? If you have any left over hook me up please!
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