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Thread: The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.

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GO TOMMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well done.. Well done indeed! Drinks all around for that.... uh.. course i think its just you and me.. so thats only two :P
"Yeah," said Grondy, looking up from the floor he was scrubbing, "No free drinks for the hired help, especially when they are just working here to pay off their bar tab. Nice song though Tommie."
"why was i eatin' this rock" wondered Dar to himself...
Hey Grondy could ya get us 'bout 10 pints and some fire water as well and if ya have it some boar....feelin' quite peckish"
"Sure can, Darous," replied Grondy looking up from his scrubbing. "One hog's leg and a deck o brew with a chaser!" he yelled toward the kitchen. "It'll be right up," he continued and went on scrubbing.

A couple minutes later Grondy jumped up, threw the sponge in the bucket, wiped his hands on his filthy apron, and grabbed the tray as Gimli set it on the end of the bar. He carried the tray two handed so as not to spill a drop of its precious contents, he put it on the table and started off loading tankards of suds in front of Darous. "Yer meat'll be here later," he remarked as he set a water glass of 'Old Dragon's Breath' whiskey on the table. He curtsied with a wink and returned to his bucket which he picked up, crossed the room, and went out the back door.

In the yard Grondy poured the dirty the water on the ground, walked over to the pump, rinsed out the bucket and sponge, wrang out sponge, placed it in the bucket, and carried the bucket back into the tavern and placed under the bar.

Next Grondy went in the kitchen picked up the plate of taters, greens, and roast boar, grabbed a loaf of Gimli's homemade bread and a tub of butter and took them out to Darous's table. "Here ya go, eat hearty."

"Oh, and will there be anything more?" he asked, "cause I'm going off duty now, unless you want a refill." As he finished, he removed his apron and hung it on a peg behind the bar.

"nathing at the mo Grondy" shouted Dar as he tucked intto the boar and bread...."Once again you have out done yerself mate....." as he grabbed a tankard and and drank heartily
*storms into the bar*

"DRINKS ON ME!!! Let's celebrate! I don't know what's to celebrate, but maybe that'll get some more people coming in here. This certainly isn't your average celebrating team."

*looks at Darous sitting behind a table and munching his bread*
*looks at Grondy sitting in the corner enjoying his time off*
*looks at Gimli nearly falling asleep behind the counter*

"Hellooo? What's this all about? Why's everyone so glum? Where's all the rest gone? We should do something to get things going again here. How about a karaoke night?" Big Smile Smilie
"Karaoke hup diggty dog" jumped Dar.
"Im in the mood for abit of croonin' laughed Dar as he grabbed a tankard "and I might as well begin"
And then like magic a dwarf and elven 4 piece band come in the door. The others look round in surprise....
"What a stroke of luck" cheered Dar
"Now laddies would ye be grateful enough ta give us a tune???"
"Of course" roared a dwarf....
And so music filled the tavern and Dar began to sing

" I love the smell of this dwarf and elf quartet...
I love the smell of Gimli's wooden toe rests
I love the smell of..........."
And then Dar misplaced his foot and flipped over and landed on top of Grondy...
"oops" laughed Dar
Grondy winked at Dar and fished around under the table for his suddenly spilled and now empty mug and signaled for a refill. "Put it on Dar's tab, if he still has any credit left in here. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie And while you're at it, draw one for him, but put that one on my tab." Happy Elf Smilie

That ought to wake him up Big Smile Smilie

Hail and well met my friends.. I am afraid I have once again fallen asleep under the bar.. you wouldn't believe how comfy it is under there... Thanx for helping out while I was out Grondy.. I believe you tab is settled Wink Smilie

Soooo how's about some more music.. anyone???
Soooo how's about some more music.. anyone???

’Begins to sing The Electric (Slide) Boogie by Marcia Griffith’
*Gimli does a little dance across the bar top, tripping over grondy's beer and spilling it everywhere...*

oops Sad Smilie
"On me tab then gave me 50 tankards and some peanuts...I be glad I got my compensation from that incident with the cheese grater yesterday or I be buggered." and then Dar leapt up and sang Boogie wonderland by Earth wind and fire and even put on a shiny suit for it all made of mithril as well
*throws peanuts at Dar*

Get off the stage man you are blinding us with them cheap knockoff mithril shinys... sheesh!
Lol, nooo! ’jumps into the air and eats the peanuts, then continues to dance with Dar, and knocking Grondy's cup on his head’
Grondy is gonna get you for that!!!!!!!!!!!
now this is more like it
Here I was, a dozing away when I awoke and found, 'Somebodys been drinking my beer.' And again I dozed and found, 'Sombodys been drinking my beer and they stole my cup clean away.'
"Well dont look at me Grondy" shouted dar as he slided across the table and tried a back flip but as usual he slipped and ended up lookin like a a a*s.
"Hey Gimil, now that I've been so rudely awakend you may as well pour me another Mug-O-Ale; my whistle needs wetting and while you're at it, pass the pretzels."
"And if ye could Gimli would ye get me some salt my a*s is a bit sore.
'Well Dar,' sniggered Grondy, 'if you was to feed him a bit more and beat him a lot less he might feel better. Then again, you could trade him in for a horse and you would both be ahead." Orc Grinning Smilie
Oh just drinking beers, eating peanuts, singing songs, Aster, you know, the usual. Smile Smilie Now if you're new here you'd better go up on stage and sing us a song, right now. Smile Smilie
Halo, after dragging herself out from under the rock she's been living under for the last month or so, slams through the front doors of the Inn. Paying no heed to the people that were crushed behind the doors, she marches strait up to the bar and is about to yell "Honeys, I'm home," when she spots asteroth, in his scary black robes and scythe.
"Aaaiiiiii! No! Ringwraith! Kill it, somebody kill it!!"And then Halo faints, falling into a rather unpostThreadIDy heap on the floor. Got The Blues Smilie

Grondy wastes the rest of his ale to awaken Ms. Halo, our psychotic looking Orc/Elf/Balrog thing, which I think has turned out to be a female half-orc’the other half may be human, but about that we are unsure’and he helps her to his table and offers her his hankie with which to dry the dregs from her tresses and trusses, or whatever that leather outfit's called that she's wearing this day.

'Better pour young Halo here her favorite brew Gimli, put it on my tab, and I'll pay you next Tuesday. While you're at it, draw another ale for me.'

'Were awaiting for your song, dance, or routine Asteroth, the rule in this here pub of Gimli's is newcomers have to perform before they can wet their whistles. So get up on the stage and break a leg. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
Hey Gimli, Pour me a nice tall cool one, please.
I think I will just lean back here in the dark corner and watch Asteroth do his thing. Maestro!
Hey Dar, could you toss some of those peanuts my way?
Dar talks to a bar stool which he thinks his a evil lemon tryin' ta steal his paper....." and if ya come near the paper I will use me on my pancakes now begone before I taste yer citrus taste.......Oh peanuts Red there ye go missus have the rest I think if I eat anymore I'll have ta take up the pebble dashing house job."
He then spots a table which could be a evil leprechaun which his makin rude gestures at him.....
"Not the evil leprechaun ahhhhhhhh" and he leaps into the air and attacks it with a haddock.
Halo blinks once or twice and shakes her head to clear it.
"Augh! Where am I, what happened and why do I smell of alcohole?" She turns to look at the pint of ale in front of her "Is this for me? Grondy! Gimli! Thank you! I've gotta admit its nice to be back. After yet another loooong absence."Taking a swig of her ale, it takes her a moment or two to notice Dar attacking the evil leprechaun.
Orc Going Huh Smilie "In the name of Gandalf's Y-Frounts! How did that get in here, I though this place had a no evil leprechauns rule!" she downs her ale in one gulp.
Dar wrestles the table to the ground but then notices the stool comin at him with a lemon now to take his paper."Bugger Im done for now"
Hey, that one almost caught me un'erwares. Elk Grinning Smilie

Pour Asteroth a tall cool one Gimli, maybe if he gets a tad bit more in him he'll remember some more (long as their clean.) Happy Elf Smilie

[Edited on 20/10/2003 by Grondmaster]
And then a stool came and started ta nible his toes
"AHHHHHH" shouted dar as he ran about in a magiacl square
"So were back ta singing again are weee"
Dar stood up and fell back down again
Andrea drags Dar off the floor, props him up on a stool, hands him a mic, turns on the karokee machine, and watches Dar slur the words to "I Love Rock N' Roll"
"But im not dressin' up as Britney Spears... ye got that Grondy"
Well Dar, that's fine with me, but the least you could do is to cover up your bare midriff. Is that thing in your beller button the eye of a spider, a 37 carat diamond, or a hunk of petrified lint? Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
Halo looks at Dar and Grondy
"Awww, young love!" Big Smile Smilie
"Leave my lint alone it has been with me since i was a young ankle snapper....I remember the first day i saw it..."
and a tear runs down his cheeks.
Halo takes a sip of her drink.
"Shame on you Grondy, you made poor little Dar cry!"Halo hands a hanky to Dar and the notices everyone is staring at her. "What? Have I got a snotty nose or something?" She looks down and isn't really surprised to see her clothes have changed to a cute little witches outfit and there are halloween decorations and pumpkins everywhere.
"Smeg! My eye of newt is showing!" she picks up the eye and puts it back inside her witches hat "Guess its that time of year again. Halloween party Gimli?" Pumpkin Smilie
"Halloween is that why mini urak and goblins were banging at my door lookin for gold or they would skin me."
Dar rubs his chin
*gimli wonders where all the trick or treaters are at this fine halloween....*

I swear.. I get the place all decorated.. make a special batch of Orc Toes for the kiddies and NO ONE shows up...

why do i even bother! Mad Smilie

ahem.. oh.. Hi everyone.. dont mind me.. just making one of my erratic stops by PT Wink Smilie
Pumpkin Smilie This was a very, very slow Halloween! Pumpkin Smilie

After Grondy went to all the bother of laying in a supply of Milky Ways, Three Musketeers, and Heath Bars, nary a trick-or-treater visited his humble hovel. Now he will be forced over the next few weeks to eat all that sweetness on his own. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

"So Gimli, throw some of your Special Orc Toes in the micro, nuke'em for 30 seconds, and pass them here. Please."
Please Grondy,give me some sweets,I haven't had dinner Very Sad Smilie
"More ale giver me more ale" shout Dar ta keep the lemons away
Sweets and ale, that sounds good... Wink Smilie
’Grabs a handful of gimli's Orc toes’ Nothing will go to waste around me, especially food!
Sweets and ale, that sounds good... Wink Smilie
Then there was the time Grondy pigged out on chocolate chip cookies, washing them down with beer. Ye Gad! That was one sick Exploding Head Smilie kid, barfed over everything.
Halo wanders in, still dressed in her halloween costume and still pigging out on candy. "Woo! I got a big haul this year!" she cackles manicly "Ya should have seen the look on those grown ups faces when they opened the door and saw me there! Ha! Well, I know halloweens been and gone now, but this calls for a song! Well...that and I need an ale!"
Halo gets up on the stage, grabs the mike and begins to sing;
"I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash

From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes

They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash

The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son

The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"

They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash

Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"

It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it's a graveyard smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash

Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Model A sent you

Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
The monster mash
And do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash"

"Thank you!" Halo takes a bow "Thank you my adoring fans! Hey Gimli? Can I have an ale please?" Halo steps of the stage and slips in a puddle of vomit, which sends her careening across the room and into the Jelly wall.
"Ack! Has Grondy been eatting too many sweets again?"
"wherer my ale its been over a fortnight. I'm nearly sober" and a cold sweat runs across Dars brow.
"Here you go Dar, have one on the house; howsomeever, its still a tad bit green. Elf Rolling Eyes Smilie We ran out of last year's grain and have had to wait for this year's harvest. The ale will get better now as it ages; it should be back to 'Gimli's Exceptional' by YulepostThreadIDe." Happy Elf Smilie
"cheers bub a was gettin' worried there for a while.
The doors of the inn opened.A stranger came into the inn out of the mist.He sniffed the heavy air of the inn.
"Ahh..." he sighed "Fresh Blood"
"My hunger will soon be over"
Then he took his place at a dark corner of the inn and started waiting...
"Howdy stranger! My name is Grondy and I will be your server this fine evening. Before I can serve you however, I must bring to your attention the Rules of Gimli's Fine Establishment. There really is only one," and he pointed to the sign hanging over the bar which read:
-----> All first time visitors MUST sing a song! <-----
While the stranger was drawing upon his unlimited repertoire, Grondy noticed the newcomer was rather long in the tooth and his complexion was quite pale, thus he continued:

"May I also direct your attention to our Blood List, for those who are so inclined. We have some of the finest types and lines available this side of Erid Lithui Mountains; however, I must point out our supply from the sentient races is very limited as we deal only with suppliers who make voluntary withdrawals.

Might I suggest a carafe of Troll's Blood? I'm told it is full bodied yet dry. Alcoholic Smilie You may care to order now and your drink will be served upon the completion of your performance."
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