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Thread: The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.

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Orc Grinning SmilieOrc Grinning Smilie


Orc Grinning SmilieOrc Grinning Smilie

Gimli passes out from the excitement.....
What for? It's only me coming back in again... Very Big Grin Smilie
"Hi Tom!!" Waving Hello Smilie *looks at Gimli* "He ain't dead is he?" Orc Going Huh Smilie
Yo Halo, give him one of your happy dances so we can see if there is any life left in the old feller, he being our hospitable Dwarven host. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
Dar grabbed his throwing axe and before anyone noticed.." still got it my friend" laughed Dar
"And you look nice with that bit off the top Aule as well.

Grondy lifts his free pint to Halo and asks. "Hey Miss Halo, this new soul mate of yours, did the cellar zombie finally catch you or did you manage to snare a live one with all your feminine charms and orkish guile?" Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
*gimli throws his axe at Aule..*

Got him.. :P right under the left arm.. whos next?
Big Laugh Smilie Okeydo! *spontaniously happy dances all over the bar* Orc Going Huh Smilie He ain't moving Grondy! WHAT THE HECK ARE WE GONNA DO WITH A DEAD DWARF!?
Yes I am back now! The khazad Gimli wanted to praise me and offer me 5 kegs of beer! And some lager!!!

But there will be no axe tossing on me....I will sing your freaking song Gimli!!!

Here goes:
I am not a freaking tosser so do not get me wrong,
I like to get me something really big and strong.
It’s usually some ale or balrog wings from Gimli stinking inn,
but when I give my order Gimli repents his sin.
He says: Oh dear papa Mahal please forgive so,
but the Grond has come and taken the Tom Bombadillo!
Aul’ raises his hand and tosses Grond over the bar,
and after Grond snaps out of his sleep he gets put in a jar!
And all because of some freaking Tom!!

Are you guys happy now?!??!!
So am I!!! Let's get on with it then! I think Gimli should go first. But what are we going to throw at? Aule hasn't been in for ages now...
ummm not sure... but grondy... are those your pants on the windmill out there???? Orc Grinning Smilie


now then.. where have I put my axe.. I'll handle these renegade windmills...

a question though... what exactly is the complaint with them... i mean we are all going to be sitting here in the dark if i hack them down....
Hello Halo! Waving Hello Smilie

Well what can you do with a dead dwarf? He wouldn't taste right. You can bury him. Big Smile Smilie

*starts a spontanious happy dance of her own* Big Smile Smilie
"Let's just prop Gimli up in that corner behind the bar, maybe the old feller is just asleep, from that smile on his face he looks like a cat who has caught a canary. Don't see any feathers in his mouth so it must be one helluva dream." Elf With a Big Grin Smilie

*gimli wakes up from a horrible nightmare......*

Sheeeeeeeeew... for a moment there I thought i was finished.... Who ever heard of a dwarf with out a beard....

So.. where were we... Where's my tankard?

Grondy is that you over there with the polk-a-dot dress on????
Tom turns around. Notices Grondy in a silly polka-dot-dress. Points and starts to laugh hysterically. Na-na-na-na-na Smilie

No, it's probably cos you're not right awake Gimli. Big Laugh Smilie
I'm awake I'm awake...

*passes out again.....*
Star climbs off her bar stool and trips over the dwarf....

clunk, onto the floor...who left the trash lying around?

Sad Smilie..oh dear its not trash...its Gimli, poor wee guy, someone get me some scissors a mutant hair growth has taken over his face

Tigger Smilie
The Grondy quickly slams his guitar atop the now disabled dwarf's face, "Thou shalt touch not a hair on his hollow head with them thar skizzers, Missy. Doin' so would be tantamount to rape, an' we don't allow none o that in these parts neither." And looks her in the eye with his no longer bloodshot red-rimmed eyes, which have suddenly turned bright steely-grey.

"Well, now you've dropped them skizzers," he says maintaining eye contact, "you gonna be a good girl an help him to his room, or are we gonna stand around here oggling each other 'til we grow cobwebs?" and gives her a big grin. Big Smile Smilie
Star looks shocked at the threatening behaviour of that there man, and dropping the scissors backs away from the dwarf..... Sad Smilie I didn't mean no harm, I was just concerned about my good buddy, Very Sad Smilie but now i see i was mistaken it is infact a beard, not a growth at all.

Star helps pick up the dwarf and carries him to a bedroom upstairs, winking at a couple of young things and encouraging them to come play a trick on the unconcious dwarf..."no beard cutting though," she says as she slips a pair of handcuffs from under her cape Moderator Smilie

Tigger Smilie Deal Smilie Orc Going Huh Smilie Big Smile Smilie
*gimli wakes up and finds himself handcuffed to the bed post with Star looking down at him*

Whats this?!??!?!?!?! ARGGGGGGGGGG.. I've died an gone to hell.. There's a Devil looking at me!!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Orc Grinning Smilie
Hell Mad Smilie

Very Sad Smilie he called me a devil......Moderator Smilie

right mister, you are for it now!, pulls out a whip from under her cape and starts snapping the air above the dwarf's waist!

Orc Grinning Smilie
Mellie, wanders back down to the bar, feeling much better and refreshed. She has changed her clothes and showered and orders a bowl of Frosted Flakes and a Coke for Breakfast. lol She looks around and sees people still partaying. Mel, shakes her head and smiles, then ask "So, what have I missed? Looks like everyone is having a good time, maybe?"
"Heya Mellie." Halo waves and leaves her seat to go and say hello, but trips over the guitar welding hobbit known only to man/elf/dwarf/troll/hobbit/squirrel/orc-kind as Grondy. "Ow! >.< Oh sorry about that Grondy! o_0 *hugs Grondy* Hey nice dress, where'd ya get it?"
"You mean this old thing? It's all that I could find in my closet, with all costume changes I've made tonight (all my sequined outfits are now out at the cleaners) I've run out of things to wear--I thought I'd look silly in the gorilla suit; I mean can you even imagine a three foot (0.91 m.) tall gorilla. Even if It is still Halloween (4:30 PM currently).

So this red polka dot Daisy-Mae outfit will have to do for the rest of the evening, even if I can't fulfill its upper reaches to the extent dreamed of by its designer. Sorry boys, but I aint built that way, so quit yer leerin', 'cause even if I was inclined that way, you still wouldn't be my type." Shaking Head Smilie Big Laugh Smilie

Grondy makes a curtsey (showing a little more of his hairy legs); sticks his tongue out at the hangers on at the bar; and sits down shivering at a table in the corner near the fireplace where it wasn't quite so darned drafty.
Tom looks at Grondy but quickly decides not to do that again (hairy legs *shudder*).

"So the dwarf has passed out again eh?" *gets behind the bar* "Free drinks for everyone! Who wants a pint?" Big Laugh Smilie
"Me!" Halo grabs a couple of pints from Tom, heads over to where Grondy's sitting and hand one of the pints to him. "Here ya go...remind me to sing a song later will you. I'll wait until Gimli's awake before I do, that way he'll actualy know I've sang..."
Whats this?!??!?!?!?! ARGGGGGGGGGG.. I've died an gone to hell.. There's a Devil looking at me!!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"Er..." Halo looks up at the ceiling "am I the only one who can hear screams of terror?" Orc Going Huh Smilie
"Oh that, nuthin' ta worry about. Those two love-birds been playing that game every Friday night since they got hitched last June. Now, if we sees some blood drippin' off the ceiling beams we might have ta interfere, but we've been told ta butt-out until we do, leastwise tha's how we interpreted the axe embedded in da head o de last bar patron who interrupted their foreplay."

Grondy takes a big gulp o ale, "Thanks fer the pint Ms Halo."
"Yer welcome Grondy." halo glances up at the ceiling "foreplay...eewwwww!" Orc Going Huh Smilie
Star wanders downstairs with her whip trailing behind her...."hmmph...all noise and bluster, that dwarf! " "I've had more fun torturing Orc's that I had with him, screamed the minute he saw my staying power these dwarves. "
She flips the handcuff key onto the bar and wanders out of the establishment and down the forum corridoors looking for a new playgound Moderator Smilie

Tigger Smilie Big Laugh Smilie
Meanwhile Halo drags herself out from the closet she passed out in (the night before), walks over to the bar and falls asleep. Big Laugh Smilie
Just then an elf bursts through the door. She glances around at the heap of unconsious drunken bar patrons. Annoyed that everyone's too intoxicated to notice her, she glides across the room to the piano, sits down and smiles mischeiviously.

She then proceeds to play Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata' as loud as she can (realising that eveyone probably has a terrible hangover). Mad Smilie
She finishes the piece and sits there looking very pleased with herself having made an entrance. Cool Smilie
Grondy, taking the hint from Gimli that he 'vants to be alone,'--I can't provide the actual transcript of Gimli's comments here, for you would be blinded by all those stars, er censor asterisks--Grondy retreated downstairs the banging of the piano keys from below becoming louder with each step he took.

He look through the doorway and saw a comely lass sitting alone at the piano, looking like a cat who had just made a memorable contact with a little yellow bird, except there were no feathers on her upper lip. He walked behind the bar an poured a couple pints of Gimli's finest while he tried to remember where he had heard that tune before. Elf Confused Smilie

Once he had the tune pegged, he took one of the pints over to the Lady Elf and said, "You know, don't you, that that there tune normally isn't played with a bosa-nova beat? Old LVB is prolly rollin' in his grave, unless he's like me an actually enjoyed that neveau twist on his old war horse," and he finished his speech with a big Colgate. Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
*gimli wanders down stairs after a good nights sleep..*

Hello all, how are we doing today?

Grondy my friend.. you wouldn't believe the dream I had.. You... in a polkadot dress!! Can you imagine... YOU!!!!!!!!!

---- sorry to be away.. been sick this past week... still sick too.. bad cold... but ill be about again soon.... -----
"Yeah Gimli, it was probably a dream caused by the high fever, says Grondy as he's washing up the glassware from last night's festivities, or else maybe it was that Cr’me de Menthe/Vodka combo that you used instead of Nyquil. There's a new box of 'Nose-Blow' under the left end of the bar there; Star_of_Hope left this handbag what you can use for the wet ones."

Grondy finishes up behind the bar and starts taking the stools off the tables in preparation for this evening's partying. "Cooks got some chicken and noodle soup in the pot, pretty good stuff. You want some?"
Somewhere in a long-forgotten faraway corner of the inn, Tom awakes with (as expected) a terrible headache from all the free drinks. She drags herself from the corner to the bar, and notices Gimli has returned. "Where have you been, my dear dwarf?" she asks innocently. Big Laugh Smilie

Then suddenly some fool starts playing the piano! Tom's head starts to burn, so she quickly puts her fingers in her ears and orders the cheese plate. Animated Wink Smilie Looking at the piano she sees the bright (too bright for an early morning) face of Arwen*evenstar*, smiling while playing Beethoven. Luckily the cheese plate arrives and having stuffed some cheese in her ears and the rest down her throat, she whispers over to the dwarf behind the bar: "Can I have an aspirine please?" Good Morning Smilie
Grondy crawls back in to Gimli's fine establishment. His clothes are all tattered and torn and his face looks like he done been whupped by the ugly stick. "Oh woe is me," he says as he inches his way across the floor, "the windmills won again," and sings:

"Where have all my pretty clothes gone
Long time passin'
Where have all my pretty clothes gone
Long time ago
Where have all my pretty clothes gone
Gone to windmills every one
When will they ever learn
When will they eeevver learn."

Elf Rolling Eyes Smilie

He reaches the bar and hoists himself up onto a stool and queries, "Any o that thar chicken soup left?"
Tigger Smilie
Orc Grinning Smilie
...ummm are squirells techincially rodents???....

Serching Smilie through the websites on rodents...hmmmmm maybe they are!!!

Very Evil Smilie ...'WHO LET THE DOGS OUT??? Puppy Smilie Very Evil Smilie
Star comes back into the bar looking dazed, her whip trailing behind her still and a thumping headache!! "Who is making all that racket??" she cries...MY poor head!!
The elf downs the pint kindly brought to her by Grondy, smiles thankfully and makes her way to the bar, intent on finding some hard liquer. She's had a bad week - and after ordering 10 shots of vodka she promises herself that she'll never get mixed up with humans again. She finishes off the lot. (after all - being as how elves are all etherial and stuff, they don't suffer from hangovers... do they?)
"Whoever wants to join me in my next round - it's on me."
Let me get this right want to wear Gimli's unmentionables??? Shaking Head Smilie

now you are scaring you have any idea what dwarves keep in there?? Super Scared Smilie their hygenie is very debatable Winking Smilie

Tigger Smilie
*looks around and spots the windmill* "Naffin' windmill!" *grabs a lighter and walks out...grinning...evily!*
After a hopeless search for a pair of Gimli trousers, Tommie walks back into the bar. She sits herself down at the counter and orders a pint. "Hey, Gimli, you happen to know what Halo's doing with that lighter?"
*puts hand up* "I do!!"

Having recovered (wow that aspirine did wonders), Tom orders a large pint, and strolls casually over to the wonderful elf at the bar. "Well hello there!" *waves* "It's me, TomBom. But you can call me Tommie." Big Smile Smilie
Grondy, finishing up a large bowl of cook's wonderful chicken noodle soup grabs a spare broom handle and screws on a wicked looking spear point. Next he finds an empty spittoon which he dons as a helmet and says, "I'm of to tilt some windmills, anyone care to join me?" and proceeds out the door.
Star orders a glas of wine and sits down to nurse her headache.

...Windmills ??? hmmm do they tilt back??

*gimli peeks out from under the bar....*

Windmills???? Lord I need to get some better sleep....

*he gets himself up and gets his extra tall stool for the bad..*

Think I'll try a bowl of that Chicken Noodle Soup... Smile Smilie
AHEM! What's wrong with Rodents then? Hmmmm,... Mad Smilie
Star downs her wine and smacks Gimli!

Get out there and tilt at those windmills!!! what are you man or mouse? dwarf or rodent??

perfectly good axe and he won't use it...sheesh!
"Twas my great quest Gimli; it has failed. Dead Smilie However, in your infinite words of wisdom you said we need the light, so...

When I find myself in times of trouble
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Brother Gimli comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

Still, if you could collect me trousers, I'd be much obliged. (Had I knowed I'd lose them I'd a worn the red poka-dot boxers instead of these Legolas faced ones.)" Big Smile Smilie
Big Smile Smilie I knew he wasn't a mouse!!! da man!!!

Tigger Smilie
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