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Thread: The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.

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Grondy removes his apron and speaking to Eva says, "This reminds me of when I was a lad and my mother tried to train me as a dish washer. I got so much soapy water on me and the floor that she gave up and let me be the dish dryer, which is what I wanted to do. I never knew if she knew there was method in my messiness, just as I don't want to know about your lack of gracefulness. Anyway, from now on, I'll do the serving and you may continue doing the cooking," and he winked and handed Eva his chef's hat and apron.
"Don't bother with dishes," said a cool voice from behind Eva. "I can clean them in up in three seconds." A fair lady stood behind Eva, dressed in shimmering pale green, with black hair flowing down to her waist. There was that aura of great power within her, and her eyes were the deepest most hypnotising green. She clicked her fingers and the mess was cleaned, with all the dishes perfectly stacked together on the table. The Cloveress smiled in satisfaction.
Eva looked from Calin to Grondy to the black-haired, green-eyed lady who, though she hadn’t seen her before, seemed oddly familiar. ’Um’ thank you, thank you, and thank you,’ she said, going red to the eartips with the attention of so many people focused on her. ’Really, I’m sorry, Grondy, I’m usually not so clumsy, just when I get surprised, or distracted, and’ um. It’s just that that’s less likely to happen in the kitchen than out here. So’ I’ll go back there, then. Yes.’ She quickly slips back to the kitchen, but nearly as soon as she gets there, there is a loud screeching sound.
"Heavens to Betsy!!! Did I forget to lock up my pet blackboard screecher again or just forget to wash Eva's favorite saucepan after I scorched the remainder of the spegheti sauce in it. Or maybe Claw drug-in a dragon tail with the rest of the body still attached and alive and kicking. That there Claw cat is one mighty fine hunter," said Grondy sheepily as he peeked around the corner into the kitchen.
"Heeheee," laughed the Cloveress, acting a bit unlike the great lady she was supposed to be now. "Oh this disguise!" She found that she didn't like pretending to be other people anymore. So she changed back to a little pixie. She craned her tiny neck and tried to see what was going on in the kitchen, but she couldn't even catch a glimpse. "Awww..crazy children...crazy mortals...crazy food...I wonder if even the dishes are crazy in here?" she folded her arms and hovered above everybody, muttering to herself.
Suddenly Claw comes tearing out of the kitchen, yowling and hissing. He spies Eruwen and huddles unhappily under her chair, swiping at anything that comes near him. Eva was on the floor again, just outside the kitchen, as Claw’s initial mad dash had cannoned him straight into her legs. ’What the’?’ she exclaims, staring into the kitchen. There was a large shape in the middle of the floor, but she couldn’t tell what it was because most of the lights in the kitchen had gone out. ’Huh’,’ she muttered, somewhat dazed, ’Claw is just the cat of mysteries, isn’t he? Is that thing alive, or just something he knocked down?’ She pulled herself to her feet.
Maydmarion walks in yawning and stretching - that was the best sleep I've had in days I must have slept for ages, as today is my birthday - I'd like to buy a round of drinks for eveyone, even a saucer of cream for Claw.

Please feel free to order what you like, Maydmarion put a bag of mithril on the bar.

Grondy, please keep the rest of the mithril as there will be a few dwarves joining me for my birthday. When they've had a few drinks they can get er a bit roudy.
"And a Happy Birthday to you Maydmarion!" (OOC: There remain another 7.75 hours of your birthday locally as I write this.) " I'll stash this away as a damage deposit and will return it tomorrow less swillage and breakage."

"Okay folks Maydmarion is buying this round as her birthday treat, what'll it be?"

"Eva, have you got any birthday cake back there and what did that dang cat drag-in?"
Eruwen finishes her glass of wine in one swig, and reaches under her chair to pick up Claw. ’Now, now, what’s going on Little One?’ She strokes the kitten in an attempt to calm him, but Claw continues to hiss at whatever is in the kitchen. Eruwen stands up and makes a slow and steady approach toward the kitchen, her sharp eyes starting to make out something lying in the middle of the floor, but just before she can focus on what it may be, Claw panics and climbs onto her shoulder, springing into the rafters of the Inn.
"What's going on?" the Cloveress did not like the feeling of not knowing everything. She was so used to holding all the cards in her hand, playing tricks at her will, that she had quite forgotten how it was like to be kept in the dark. She hovered a bit closer to Eruwen, as the cat was with her, and tried to see whatever it was they were all looking at. "Oh well," she muttered, annoyed," I won't give a fig for your little troubles. I'll go get a nice drink, seeing as it's free." Then her eyes lit up. "And maybe I can give a special birthday treat for the birthday girl...."
Icey roughly shoves open the door, after she had dashed outside. Her clothes are soaked and her hair is hangly limply or clinging to her face. With a great shake of her head, flinging water everywhere, Ice smiles and waves at everyone. It's not raining outside the inn, so where had she gone.....

"Oi! What a storm it was down south! Wind blowing down trees and rain flooding houses and fields; glad I left when I did...." as she says this, she turns around, back towards the door, and disappears, reappearing once again and holding a few bottles of light blue ale.

"Free drinks you say? Count me in, and then everyone can have a taste of my personal favorite kind of ale, BlueIce!!!!" setting the bottles on the bar, Ice grabs a stool and sits down.

(Sorry I haven't replied in a while, blame it on RIta...)

ohh hope everything is fine after the passing of Rita

calin wishes Maydmarion a happy belated birthday, and then orders an ale. while he is waiting he gets up to look at what is in the kitchen wondering...
Icey was back! The Cloveress was glad. She missed the part-spirit. So she fluttered over to her and settled comfortably between Icey and Maydmarion, flashing her big green eyes at them both and smiling. "Would you want us to sing you happy birthday, Maydmarion?"
Only if you would like to......I really love birthdays, mine or someone else's Big Smile Smilie

Then I will sing happy un-birthday to you all - after a few of Grondy's finest for elf courage!!!! Happy Elf Smilie
OOC: Um’ I have no idea what is in the kitchen. So, I’ll try to think of something by tomorrow, but if someone else has an idea they’re welcome to run with it. Probably not anything too sinister- perhaps it is a birthday surprise for maydmarion?
Grondy fills the patrons various orders for their complimentery drinks from Maydmarion and decides its time to investigate the kitchen something that so upset Claw the Courageous Cat, and he passes through the doorway and isn't seen for a while.

A little later he apeared carrying a large shiny silver cube with a green bow on top. Each side of the cube was almost a meter square and polished like a mirror. "I think what set Claw off, was the ferocious looking animal he saw looking back at him from out of this birthday box."

He placed the box on the table in front of Maydmarion. "Here you go my lady, this is for you on your special day. Open it up and let's see what you've got."

(OOC: I don't know what's in the box. It could be a fancy decorated birthday cake, a beautiful flower arrangement, a scantily clad male dancer, a large poetry spouting bird, a minature string orchestra playing 'The Four Seasons', or whatever the recipient wishes.)
Orlando Bloom springs from the box Tongue Smilie - or should I say my hubby Wink Smilie

Maymarion blushes and unties the box - to her utter surprize and delight Maydmarion takes out a long purple satin dress and a long black velvet cape with a hood. Oh it's beautiful - thank you so much stutters Maydmarion and starts to cry. Look at me blubbering like a baby, I hunt orcs for a living. I can't remember the last time I had proper 'girl clothes.

Maydmarion goes to the upstairs door, with a bright red face, so she can put on her posh frock.

Leaving a bemused cat jumping in and out of the box and attacking the bow.....
OOC: Thanks, Grondy Elf With a Big Grin Smilie
Having picked herself up of the floor (again) and finding the kitchen declared safe, Eva quickly proceeds to make a birthday cake for Maydmarion.
"I'll help with the cake, Eva." The Cloveress called as she followed her into the kitchen. She thought she heard someone behind her cough with the word "poison" very thinly disguised. But she ignored it...

She flew towards the cupboards, found nothing that she wanted, so she went outside and grabbed what she figured would be used in a cake. Some seeds from the garden, (she'd heard of seedcake before in Gondor), some flowers, (for the old housewives in Rohan used plenty of "flour" in their cakes), and also she grabbed some ice from the river, (for she had very often heard of "icing on cakes")... now feeling very satisfied, she fluttered back to the kitchen to Eva and dumped everything in the startled woman's arms.
Eva gave a small, startled squeak as she caught the things Cloveress had brought her and felt the ice. She set them down on some spare counter-space as she tried to decide how to explain cake-making to the spirit. She shook her head. ’Um’ why don’t you start passing back out those lovely clean plates, so people are ready? And maybe help with a little decorating- the inn will look shabby with Ms. Maydmarion in that lovely dress if it’s not fancied up a little.’
Grondy popped into the kitchen carrying a bushel basket with a towel draped over the top. "Look what Farmer Maggot used to pay off his bar tab," and he whipped off the towel. "Mushrooms, mushrooms, and more mushrooms! Eva, do you think you could rustle up a couple meals and snacks using these, maybe for tonight and tomorrow? I doubt if they will stay truly fresh any longer than that."
The Cloveress was happy to have another job to do. She gathered up the plates into her little arms, and frustrated, popped back into a human form. "There now that's a lot better." Her arms were now long enough to hold many plates at once. Then she started handing them out, smiling. The guests were all chatting happily, though she noticed how some people who knew her cowered away as she drew near. "Don't worry," she assured them," I won't drop anything in your plate." She smiled, and added under her breath, "Not this time, anyways...":
’I’m sure I can do that, Grondy. In fact, I’ll put on some cream of mushroom soup right now, and it should be done just about the same time as the cake.’ Eva hurried about the kitchen, wishing that Laurel was still here to help her. She reflected that making a large chocolate cake and mushroom soup at the same time would be difficult, but probably not impossible. The main issue would be not to start stirring the soup with the spoon from the batter, or vice versa.
Maydmarion walks into the kitchen to thank Eva for making the cake and to ask if she could help with anything - washing up, chopping mushrooms - anything...
Grondy smiled broadly as the aromas from the kitchen wafted into the common room, "Mushrooms, and if my nose isn't mistaken, chocolate. I think I've died and gone to heaven."
as the smell wafts past Elroses face he loooks up as if he had just came out of a trance. which he might have, thats the funny thing about trances you dont know if you have had one. he looks at grondy and says "i remeber you saying something about scantily clad male dancers, did i miss them?"he then takes someones ale and steals most of the mushrooms which he then dips in chocolate and starts to eat.
Eruwen jumps up and knocks the mushrooms out of Elrose's hands. "Grondy, are you sure these mushrooms came from Farmer Maggott? Where did he get them from?" Eruwen picked one up off the floor and sniffed it. "There's something not right about these, Grondy, and Elrose, I might make a trip to the bathroom if I were you, or you may be seeing dancing pink oliphaunts before too long."
well shere my frends thoshe oplishonts are mish...
The Cloveress had finished handing out the plates. And she watched as Elrose fell into his mushroom trance. She grinned to herself, "Looks like Maydmarion's going to have a really big birthday treat..." she thought, watching deviously. "I wonder who did it, though, it's got to be a really great trickster this time...hmmm...I could take a leaf out of his book..." Then she jumped as Eruwen snatched the mushrooms out of Elrose's hands. "Oh no...Lady Eruwen to the rescue again..." She flinched at the sound of things getting really messy in the kitchen, sounded like something was overflowing, and someone was shouting to someone... "Well, I'd better get back into the kitchen with Eva before anyone suspects me of this new trick..."
Eva turned away from the soup as she heard Maydmarion come in. Refusing her offer of help (after all, it was her birthday, and her in that pretty dress) she turned back to the soup only to find it was boiling over in a most strange fashion. The foam was pulling the liquid out after it, and it was all roiling violently away from the pot. ’Look out,’ she said to Maydmarion, ’I’ve never seen anything like that before, so it must be magical. Go get Eruwen!’
"Well," said Grondy, "he looked, sounded, and acted like Farmer Maggot, and mushrooms are what Farmer Maggot does best. But I suppose it could have been a changling, does that bring anyone to mind?" He proceeded to pull himself a tankard of 'Gimli's Finest' and went and sat in the corner nursing his drink, waiting to see how they got out of this one.
as the soup spills out all the way to where Elrose is lying in a ball on his face, he gets an open mouthful of it. it seems to have some awakening effect on him and so he gets up and starts to run towards the source of the soup and ends up sticking his face in it...."ahhh i feel better now"
"Oh dear, Eva, quite a mess, isn't it?" the Cloveress remarked, leaning against the kitchen door and tracing her lips with a slender finger. "I'll help with this." She could see Maydmarion's new dress was getting ruined. So she simply lifted her into the air for a while, and left her there while Eva and herself cleaned up the kitchen. "I hope this didn't ruin your birthday, madam," she winked as she set Maydmarion down again.
’Birthday’ the cake!’ Eva hurried to the stove. Fortunately, the cake had survived unharmed and wasn’t burnt, so she took it out and, while it cooled, asked Maydmarion what kind of frosting she would like. This she quickly whipped up, spread on the cake when it was cool enough, and carefully carried the whole out to the waiting patrons with a cake knife before anything else could happen.
Muttering to herself, the Cloveress followed Eva. She was beginning to feel close to the woman, and besides, she wanted to have some fun with the beautiful cake. So she changed back into her butterfly sized pixie form and fluttered around Eva.
Icey glanced up at the pixie and grinned. Her eyes widened when she saw the soup's effect on everyone; she herself had pulled the scarf up over her nose; the mushroom aroma was permeating the entire inn. She tied the purple scarf around the back of her head and waved to Maydmarion screaming a muffled, "Happy Birthday!" through the scarf. She dashed to help Eva carry the cake; she put her hands under the outer edge and carefully led the way to a table. While they walked, Ice looked around the side of the cake and mumbled, "Nice cake, Eva," through the scarf.

Maydmarion floated around in her new frock and watched everything from above with a bemused smile - how much drink have I had she thought to herself - I feel as if I'm walking on air. Maydmarion starts giggling and tries to make sure her dress stays modestly close round her ankles!

"Grondy" giggles Maydmarion - if you've got a feather duster I'll dust the ceiling whilst I'm here - the cobwebs up here are whoppers - though I don't want to see the spiders that made them. Maydmarion contines giggling as she gently falls to the ground.....
The Cloveress winked at Icey, though she wasn't sure Icey saw her, tiny as she was. The cake was put down on one of the longer tables, and people were ushering a giggling Maydmarion over to the cake. The Cloveress then landed contentedly on Eva's head, flexing her sparkling wings every so often just to let everyone know she was there.

(Grondy removed Elrose's non-topical post and the comments about it)
Suddenly, there was a crash as a very very strangely dressed group of people bumped their way through the tiny door of the inn. The Cloveress nearly fell off Eva's head as Eva turned ta face the newcomers. "What's this new commotion?" the Cloveress said while fluttering her wings furiously to keep balance. "Who are these people?"
Eva was concentrating very hard on not shaking her head hard as she looked at the newcomers. She didn’t want to dislodge or offend Cloveress, but her wings tickled something awful. Oh dear, she thought, I hope they’re not terribly hungry. The kitchen is still in disarray from making cake and soup at the same time, and there’s only just going to be enough cake for everone.
Oh this is really surreal, how much drink have I had, coz I'm seeing myself walk in the door aarrghhh Very Mad Smilie Wow what a party animal I am, but if I see myself will I change the space time continuum thingy..............???
"Just cut the cake into smaller pieces Eva, and I'll help you clean up the kitchen; though I better do the washing and you the drying so as you can find things on the morrow so we won't have to hear, 'Now why are all the glasses where the cups are supposed to be, and where did he put my cake pan? When he asked I said to "Put it there." and now it isn't here.' You see it is very hard for a man to help out in a woman's kitchen. Why I remember my mother complaining about such things even after her female friends helped out in her kitchen, and we men just have trouble translating that the there being specified is in the middle of a graduated stack of bowls on the third shelf, rather than being the only bare spot left on a shelf in the cupboard she quickly pointed to."

OOC: The King has decreed that extra-dimensional travel is not allowed in this thread so visitors from other threads are not allowed to just pop-in to stir the pot or to eat the cake, as it were. Sorry. Still, anyone is welcome to join us if they follow the main rule and plan on staying around for a while.
off topic hppfff. since when werer "off topic" posts deleted? thats it im going....can i have a mug for the road? thank you and how about one of those little platters? Balrog wings? ill be sitting over there while i wait. :-D
OOC: OK, so nobody popped in the door.
The Cloveress was feeling really content. The air was warm, the people were friendly and she was for once accepted as something other than a public entertainer or trickster. She smiled and flew over to land on Maydmarion's head and started braiding her hair into long silky braids, rubbinging fairy powder into anywhere she touched. "The birthday girl has to look pretty" she whispered in her ear...
’Well,’ said Eva, almost but not quite under her breath, ’It’s at least better than before you had a woman in the kitchen’ And Laurel probably did most of the tidying up, because she was here before me.’
"Sure you may Elrose, just a minute while I dry my hands. I ought to teach the house troll to wash the dishes, but I guess we couldn't afford the breakage. Okay, here's a mug of Gimli's Finest and a plate of Spicy Hot Balrog Wings, enjoy!. If you really want that to go, I'll see if we have some mallorn leaves and a Skunk's Stomach Wineskin. Don't worry about the latter, it don't smell and you'll aquire the taste after a couple drinks. Why doesn't it smell you ask? (drumroll) Cause he sez , everybody knows a stomach's got no nose (rimshot)." And with that Grondy heads back to the kitchen to finish washing the pots and pans.

hahahahahahaha....ok this is good....yummmm....
The cloveress raised her hand for some ale.
Grondy was putting the clean tankards and mugs on the shjelf below the bar when out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw something, he looked and didn't see anything, and returned to his work. Suddenly there it was again, this time he sort of crept crept up on it and saw it was the hand being raised by the spritely Sprite, Cloveress. He hurried over to where she was hovering, "Oh I almost missed you there Miss," and took her order.

He returned a minute later with a jigger full of Gimli's Finest Ale and a jar lid sized plate piled high with one Spicy Hot Balrog Wing, and one Deep Fried Watcher Ring, with three pieces of popcorn on the side. "Here you go Miss, if you'd like some of Eva's wonderful soup, just ask."
As Eruwen sat savoring her wine, she looked down to see her necklace glowing. She could feel the presence of E’nw’ near, calling to her, and the necklace almost felt as if it was burning into her chest. She lowered her chin and plugged her ears, but the voice would not leave her head. She felt sick. So, he did hear her calling to him earlier. Reluctantly, she got up from her table and walked our the front door of the inn for the first time in many weeks. She realized she could not keep running from this particular Maia forever.
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