Loong howls were heard from outside, answering Icey. Amari’ sat her mug down with a thump. "Did you really have to do that?" she says with a deep sigh. "I had JUST gotten the Hounds of Helsinki to stop yapping with the wanna-be werewolves of Waikiki and go to sleep, now I have to start all over again. It's actually my own fault, I shouldn't have let them go trick and treating, sugar makes them hyper. Yes, my babies, mama is coming!"
She pats Icey on the shoulder as she get up to go outside. "See you later my friend. And don't mind what they are saying, they are just jealous of your lovely singing voice. You know what kids are like..."
Thread: The Khazad-dumish Inn.. Please watch your head coming through the door.
Planet Tolkien is archived and no longer updated, but the forums remain browseable. We have established a Telegram group for old and new visitors to stay connected and discuss all things Tolkien.<< [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] >>
AR-37 DECIDES IT WOULD BE FUN TO STICK HIS HEAD IN A BEER BARREL AND TRY TO DRINK IT ALL IN ONE GULP. TWO MINUTES LATER, AR-37 TAKES HIS HEAD OUT OF THE BARREL, DRUNK AND HALF DROWNED, AND STUMBLES OUT THE DOOR TO CHECK ON Hangover.HE COLLAPSES ON THE THRESHOLD OF THE TAVERN AND EVERYONE COMING IN OR OUT STEPS OVER HIM. EXCEPT THE COUNCIL MEMBERS AND A FEW SELECT OTHERS(ICEY, ETHY, A GOBLIN) STEP ON HIM. LETS HAVE ANOTHER WATER FIGHT!
The dwarf promptly tried a beer shower of her own. She decided it was too good to hog all to herself, and so gave everyone else one as well.
AR-37 TAKES OUT HIS GUITAR AND STARTS TO SING................
Quote:
Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.
I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.
I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.
Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.
I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.
And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.
Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin' everywhere you go,
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.
Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.
Johnny Cash
Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.
I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.
I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.
Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.
I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.
And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.
Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin' everywhere you go,
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.
Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.
Johnny Cash
Ice claps for Ar-37 and says, "Great job, Ar!" She orders some more water, and sits quietly, waiting for someone else to get up with a guitar.
Grondy sends a mug of water with a lemon twist down the bar to Icefangs. We've got a lot more lemons, if you'd rather have lemonade Ms Icy; I been planning on making lemon meringue pie.
Amari’ strolls back in, orders some spicey Orc Knuckles and decides to join a few dwarves in a heated discussion about balrogs.
Etharion applauds Ar-edain. "Great song Ar!! Splendid!!" 
"Oy Grondy!! Can i have a Balrogs(Baileys) cream please? Im in the mood for some sweet."
"Oy Grondy!! Can i have a Balrogs(Baileys) cream please? Im in the mood for some sweet."Here you go Etharion, enjoy! Though I might suggest you put your pipe out while drinking it, as it can be harmful to ones eyebrows.
Laurel comes out from the kitchen with a fresh batch of Crispy Troll Toes, hands out the grub, and begins to attend to the cleaning, when she notices someone's jewel-encrusted necklace has fallen behind the bar. "Oi! Is this little beauty anyone's? Found it behind the bar." She brings it over to Grondy, then whistles away merrily, mop in hand.
"Ah thank you Grondy! And...you have a point." Etharion wisely puts his pipe out before drinking his Balrogs cream.
"Well, Lemonade sounds nice, Grondy! Could toss me a few more lemons?" she says, waving her mug in the air.
Grondy picks up four of the yellow citric ovaloids and juggles them, then with a "Heads up!", casually starts flipping them slowly one at a time over in the vicinity of Icefang's mug. 
"Ouch!" Stoney winces as a lemon bounces off his nose and splashes into his rum. He fishes it out and watches as the rum eats away the peeling.
"Lemon, Icy?"
"Lemon, Icy?"
LEMON??? YOU'RE EATING LEMON??? WHY NOT BEER??" yelled the dwarf.
"Because you have drunk the barrels dry. We will have to wait for Grondy's next shipment to come in. Until then...have a lemon."
Grondy grinning as he whispers to Loni, "Cause we only drinks beer; chewing on it is just plain non-productive, unless of course it is a well aged stout what you can stand a spoon in, efen it don't eat the spoon first!"
I'm expecting another dozen barrels this afternoon and there's a big batcj a brewin' in the cellar that should be ready in a day or two. It's still a little green for the likes o you all.
I'm expecting another dozen barrels this afternoon and there's a big batcj a brewin' in the cellar that should be ready in a day or two. It's still a little green for the likes o you all.
Ice slips the lemons into her drink, well, the ones she managed to catch, anyway. She crushes them with a fork she found on the floor and tastes her drink.
"Ugh! This stuff tastes horrible! Wait, I forgot the sugar!" she cries.
Ice jumps up and runs around the bar, grabbing a bag of sugar. She comes back to her stool and pours the sugar into her lemon-water, accidentally emptying the entire bag, but she doesn't notice. She stirs it up with a spoon and tastes it.
Immediately her eyes light up and her tail and ears stand straight up. She gulps down the rest of the sugary mass and rushes around the tavern, on a sugar high... She shouts things at the patrons like, "Kablooble!" and "Hafernet!"
"Ugh! This stuff tastes horrible! Wait, I forgot the sugar!" she cries.
Ice jumps up and runs around the bar, grabbing a bag of sugar. She comes back to her stool and pours the sugar into her lemon-water, accidentally emptying the entire bag, but she doesn't notice. She stirs it up with a spoon and tastes it.
Immediately her eyes light up and her tail and ears stand straight up. She gulps down the rest of the sugary mass and rushes around the tavern, on a sugar high... She shouts things at the patrons like, "Kablooble!" and "Hafernet!"
Grondy drops a cage around Icefangs to protect her from the other customers and tosses her a bag of freshly made deep fried Oliphaunt Toenails along with a couple packets of vinegar and salt.
"Anyone else want some of these? They're crisp and tasty and go down well with Gimli's Finest as well as the house bar swill we've got on tap."
"Anyone else want some of these? They're crisp and tasty and go down well with Gimli's Finest as well as the house bar swill we've got on tap."
Sounds dee-lish! Hit me up with some Grondy! As well as some icecream, I could use some cookie dough icecream if you have any 
Grondy spins a plate of Deep Fried Oliphaunt Toenails’ down the bar to Andrea and says, "I'll have to check in the freezer to see if we have that flavored ice cream. If we don't, do you have a second choice?"
Ar-37 quits whatever he was doing and charges in the front door of the tavern, screaming nonsense, and out the back door. (which wasn't there before he ran into the wall and left a human-shaped hole in it, later some dwarves installed a human-shaped door over the hole) he runs through oer forest, field and plain without stopping. Screaming all the way.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"That thar 'uman bean musta forgot to take 'is lithium this morning, else he 'ad a little coffee in 'is sugar. Weird!!!," said Grondy as he hung a sign over the hole. It read, AR-37 was here: He came, he saw, he crunched, he left.
A few hours later the dwarves came along and mad the aformentioned door. The sign stayed there as long as the tavern existed.
Laurel had snuck behind the bar while all of the lemon-ness was going on, and found Loni passed out there from lack of ale. "Poor ol' dwarf." She said, then continued to paw around through the various bottles of what she thought was liquor. Finding a tall purple bottle, she uncorked it and took a deep swig. "Yum!" She thought. " Has a nice flavor. Odd, but nice." She guzzled some more.
Amari’ decided to leave the Balrog discussion as the dwarves started throwing things at each other. She went to the bar to get another one of Gimlies Finest and found Laurel guzzling down something she probably should have left alone. "Umm.. ms Laurel, isn't that? I really don't think... I.... will just run quietly over there and hide."
Stoney darts away from the bar to join Amarie.
"That was a ful bottle of Belches in a Bottle you just drank Laurel! They always come in the purple bottles. Grondy keeps one over there to add a few drops to the drinks of rude patrons...just a few drops mind you, and you drank the whole thing!!!"
"That was a ful bottle of Belches in a Bottle you just drank Laurel! They always come in the purple bottles. Grondy keeps one over there to add a few drops to the drinks of rude patrons...just a few drops mind you, and you drank the whole thing!!!"
name-Rue Aburn
Race-elven
age-22
cloths-short brown skirt over brown leggings, black kneehigh boots,forest green tight fitting shirt , black cloak.
weapons-elven broadsword strapped across back, bow and arrows, throwing knives, and a quarter staff.
appearence-bright greeneyes, shoulder length red hair, slightly pointed ears.
gender-female
homeland-unknown
Race-elven
age-22
cloths-short brown skirt over brown leggings, black kneehigh boots,forest green tight fitting shirt , black cloak.
weapons-elven broadsword strapped across back, bow and arrows, throwing knives, and a quarter staff.
appearence-bright greeneyes, shoulder length red hair, slightly pointed ears.
gender-female
homeland-unknown
"Well met, Rue Auburn," says Grondy. "If you'd like a drink, read Gimli's Sign in the first post of this thread/topic." 
This is more of a place to hang out (read: eat, drink, and be merry) rather than a place to join an adventure or start a story.
"Dang!" he continued, "I can't believe she drank the whole thing. Now I'll have to order another bottle out of Dale. Somebody let me know if she stops belching and starts rising like a weather balloon. If so I'll have to jab a tap in 'er to draw off some of the gas. OOOOeeeee! Don't smell too pretty either, do it?"
This is more of a place to hang out (read: eat, drink, and be merry) rather than a place to join an adventure or start a story. "Dang!" he continued, "I can't believe she drank the whole thing. Now I'll have to order another bottle out of Dale. Somebody let me know if she stops belching and starts rising like a weather balloon. If so I'll have to jab a tap in 'er to draw off some of the gas. OOOOeeeee! Don't smell too pretty either, do it?"
Quote:
Somebody let me know if she stops belching and starts rising like a weather balloon.
Somebody let me know if she stops belching and starts rising like a weather balloon.
why? did she drink that stuff from 'Charley and the Chocolate Factory'? If you have any left over hook me up please!
"That was...***BURP...great sir...***BURP...oh God!...***BURP.
Laurel started to run around the bar room, burping wildly and crying hysterically between it. She bumped into the nice gentleman singer, then into Amarie, then into Grondy and Stonehelm and Turin. When she plowed into Turin, she dropped the purple bottle on the floor in front of him, with the remainder of the Burp Juice inside. "***BURP..There ya gooooooo***BURP. Then she went off knocking over glasses and leaving a broad path of destruction in her wake.
Laurel started to run around the bar room, burping wildly and crying hysterically between it. She bumped into the nice gentleman singer, then into Amarie, then into Grondy and Stonehelm and Turin. When she plowed into Turin, she dropped the purple bottle on the floor in front of him, with the remainder of the Burp Juice inside. "***BURP..There ya gooooooo***BURP. Then she went off knocking over glasses and leaving a broad path of destruction in her wake.
A Blonde woman stands up on the chair she took during the last song. She says "Well here goes nothing," and began to sing concerning The Battle of Evermore...
Queen of Light took her bow, And then she turned to go,
The Prince of Peace embraced the gloom, And walked the night alone.
Oh, dance in the dark of night, Sing to the morning light.
The dark Lord rides in force tonight, And time will tell us all.
Oh, throw down your plow and hoe, Rest not to lock your homes.
Side by side we wait the might of the darkest of them all.
I hear the horses' thunder down in the valley below,
I'm waiting for the angels of Avalon, waiting for the eastern glow.
The apples of the valley hold, The seeds of happiness,
The ground is rich from tender care, Repay, do not forget, no, no.
Dance in the dark of night, sing to the morning light.
The apples turn to brown and black, The tyrant's face is red.
Oh the war is common cry, Pick up you swords and fly.
The sky is filled with good and bad that mortals never know.
Oh, well, the night is long the beads of time pass slow,
Tired eyes on the sunrise, waiting for the eastern glow.
The pain of war cannot exceed the woe of aftermath,
The drums will shake the castle wall, the ring wraiths ride in black, Ride on.
Sing as you raise your bow, shoot straighter than before.
No comfort has the fire at night that lights the face so cold.
Oh dance in the dark of night, Sing to the morning light.
The magic runes are writ in gold to bring the balance back. Bring it back.
At last the sun is shining, The clouds of blue roll by,
With flames from the dragon of darkness, the sunlight blinds his eyes...
Queen of Light took her bow, And then she turned to go,
The Prince of Peace embraced the gloom, And walked the night alone.
Oh, dance in the dark of night, Sing to the morning light.
The dark Lord rides in force tonight, And time will tell us all.
Oh, throw down your plow and hoe, Rest not to lock your homes.
Side by side we wait the might of the darkest of them all.
I hear the horses' thunder down in the valley below,
I'm waiting for the angels of Avalon, waiting for the eastern glow.
The apples of the valley hold, The seeds of happiness,
The ground is rich from tender care, Repay, do not forget, no, no.
Dance in the dark of night, sing to the morning light.
The apples turn to brown and black, The tyrant's face is red.
Oh the war is common cry, Pick up you swords and fly.
The sky is filled with good and bad that mortals never know.
Oh, well, the night is long the beads of time pass slow,
Tired eyes on the sunrise, waiting for the eastern glow.
The pain of war cannot exceed the woe of aftermath,
The drums will shake the castle wall, the ring wraiths ride in black, Ride on.
Sing as you raise your bow, shoot straighter than before.
No comfort has the fire at night that lights the face so cold.
Oh dance in the dark of night, Sing to the morning light.
The magic runes are writ in gold to bring the balance back. Bring it back.
At last the sun is shining, The clouds of blue roll by,
With flames from the dragon of darkness, the sunlight blinds his eyes...
"That's the end of that," she says as she reclines in her seat. "Can I have an ale?"
"I that ye can lass, you've earned it," says Grondy as he slides a tall frosty mug af ale down the bar to Ms. Galenhir. "And here's a basket o' Spicy Orc Knuckles to nibble on 'tween sips."
The dwarf laughed. 'HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! LOL!!!! ROTFL!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!! YOU SUCKERS SINGING YOUR SONGS!!!!!!! LOL!!!! I NEVER SANG A SONG WHEN I ENTERED THIS INN!!!!!!!! Oh. Woops. NOOOOO!!!!! I don't want to sing a song. I really don't!!!!" But really she liked the attention, and drunkenly sang: (to the tune of do re mi)
Dough, the stuff that buys me beer!
Ray, the guy who sells me beer!!!!!
Me, the dwarf who drinks the beer!
Far, a long way to get beer!
So, I think I'll drink some beer!!
La-ger is a sort of beer!
Tea? No thanks, I"m drinking beer!!!!
WHICH WILL BRING US BACK TO BEER!!!! (beer, beer, beer)
BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEEEEEEER!!!!!
And she sat down with a smile on her face. "Now, fellas!!!! Gizza beer!!!!"
Dough, the stuff that buys me beer!
Ray, the guy who sells me beer!!!!!
Me, the dwarf who drinks the beer!
Far, a long way to get beer!
So, I think I'll drink some beer!!
La-ger is a sort of beer!
Tea? No thanks, I"m drinking beer!!!!
WHICH WILL BRING US BACK TO BEER!!!! (beer, beer, beer)
BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER BEEEEEEER!!!!!
And she sat down with a smile on her face. "Now, fellas!!!! Gizza beer!!!!"
Galenhir smiles and accepts the ale. Rasing it she says "It was a good song, thanks Grondy!" After that she begins crunching away on her orc-snack.
Great song loni! keep up the good work, uhh i mean drinking. SPeaking of drinking i'mma grab me a beer! 
I'm really enjoyed that new lagar from Gondor, gorgeriser light’, Same great taste and half the carbs.
I'm really enjoyed that new lagar from Gondor, gorgeriser light’, Same great taste and half the carbs."Aye. Ill have something to drink as well. Grondy!! Get me something strong!" he yelled at the dwarf.
both yall have the same avatar (sorry, i pointed out the obvious) that's gonna confuse my wee brain
very badly.
very badly.
"Okay Etharion, here's a glass of Balrog Firewater. I better warn you to keep it and yourself away from smokers, like those hobbits in the corner, cause one spark 'll take off your eyebrows. And us Dwarves best stay away from this stuff ifen we wants to retain our magnificent beards."
"You seeing double already AR-37? Better have some more of these Deep Fried Oliphaunt Toenails."
"You seeing double already AR-37? Better have some more of these Deep Fried Oliphaunt Toenails."
"Bah, you want some of these Jellied Troll Toebones I've got here. Go ahead, try one!"
Stoney looks about the room.
"Oi, where did Laurel get to? That stuff in the bottle only lasts about a minute, she'll be fine now."
Stoney looks about the room.
"Oi, where did Laurel get to? That stuff in the bottle only lasts about a minute, she'll be fine now."
Amari’ peeked up from behind a table in a corner. "I didn't see where Laurel went, I got distracted as I tried to tame this spider here. He did make a web when I asked him too, but then he started to throw dead bugs at me. Not sure if it a present or an attack. I think I'll leave him alone." She got up and brushed the dust from her knees and the bugs of her clothes.
"My! That was the best time of my life! Ya got any more o' that hogwash Burp Juice, Sir?" Laurel shouted at Grondy. She had simmered down and burped her last. At the sound of her name, she scooted over to Stonehelm and Amarie. "Do ya need something, eh? Or maybe I hurt ya on that mad run just now. I'm sorry, if I did. Never had that stuff before! Maybe you'd like a nice meal, you two. How about some heart-warmin' Oliphaunts' Trunk Stew? Me mum's recipe." She dashed off without waiting for a reply to prepare the stew.
Etharion slowly slides down from the wall where his drink had just slamed him."Ehheee....."
Glances over at Etharion.
"Hey Grondy, ya might need to get out the smelling salts. This one just bit the dust . Little pointy eared elfies just can't take a dwarf's drink."
"Don't forget the Dragon Tongue side dish, Laurel!"
"Hey Grondy, ya might need to get out the smelling salts. This one just bit the dust . Little pointy eared elfies just can't take a dwarf's drink."
"Don't forget the Dragon Tongue side dish, Laurel!"
Naw, I think I'll let him slope there; else how will he ever learn not to bite off, er drink up, more than he can handle. 
"Well, it looks like he'll be lying there for some time. I guess you could decorate with him....maybe build a table around his head for an odd center piece?"
Laurel brought the patrons out some grub, then tripped over Etharion. "Hey, who left this here? I think he had too much swig! He's frothin' at the mouth, Grondy Sir! Maybe that green bottle marked 'Drink in case of Mouth Froth' would help him...else just let him sit in his own stew, so to speak, sir." She walked over to Amarie. "I was thinking. Maybe you could tame the dwarf and the frothing elf for your collection, Miss."
Casts's withering gaze over at Amarie and Laurel.
"Don't even try to tame me! I'll put Atomic Belch drink in both 'o your glasses when yer not looking!"
Leans in to whisper to Grondy
"We do have Atomic Belch drink, don't we?"
"Don't even try to tame me! I'll put Atomic Belch drink in both 'o your glasses when yer not looking!"
Leans in to whisper to Grondy
"We do have Atomic Belch drink, don't we?"
"Naw, Gimli figured some trouble maker might try to take advantage of its latent energy so he poured it down the sink; it did a pretty good job of cleaning out the drains too, I'd hate to have that happen to me."
"Laurel, do we have any more Warg Stew left, I'm getting a little peckish? You want another pint Stoney, or you gonna nurse the empty mug for another hour," continued Grondy.
"Laurel, do we have any more Warg Stew left, I'm getting a little peckish? You want another pint Stoney, or you gonna nurse the empty mug for another hour," continued Grondy.
